firing a client

Elvis is alive!

How do I know?

Well, he lives in France, and he used to be my client.

Until I fired him.

You see, this French Elvis was a bad boy. Probably my worst client ever. He used to give me these scripts with way too much text, and not enough time to fit all the words in. Then he complained that I sounded rushed.

Elvis was one of those people who thought they had me on retainer. He would call me any day of the week at any hour, forgetting about the time difference between his part of the world and mine. Did he really forget, or did he just not care?

He always wanted things yesterday, and would pay whenever he felt like it. Most of the time he didn’t feel like it, and I’d have to remind him of the reminders I’d sent him. Then he got angry and said I should stop harassing him. I was the one who was causing problems, n’est pas?

Right before he needed me for another lousy project, he’d make a payment, and play all nice again with that silly accent of his.

He was one of those annoying guys who loved the expression “my friend” as in:

“Paul, my friend, you will do this for me, right?”

“My friend, I have lots of projects for you, so you give me a good price, no?”

After I had given him a discount and handed in my first recording, I would not hear from him for a year. Then he’d call me up in the middle of the night with an urgent job, trying to pull the same stunt.

Elvis, you two-faced Frenchman, you were never my friend, and you never will be. You’ve sucked up so much of my time and energy, and I hated every minute of it. While I was too busy dealing with your cheap antics, I could have worked for good clients at a great rate. Why did I put up with you for so long? Why did I allow you to push my buttons?

The easy answer is that I’m too trusting. I believe that most people are essentially good, and well-intentioned. I also believed that if I treated people nicely, they would return the favor.

Yeah. Right.

The truth is that there are too many Elvises in this world, who can’t wait to take advantage of the naïve, the newbies, and the pushovers. They are a minority, but they always spoil it for the rest of us. Because of them, we need rules, regulations, and a spine made of steel.

People like Elvis will treat you like a servant, and not as an equal partner working on the same project.

They think everything you do is easy, and can be done quickly, and -most importantly- cheaply.

Instead of paying you extra for extra work, they expect you to record those five script changes for free. And should you push back, they respond:

“I totally get where you’re coming from, but can’t you make an exception for me? It will never happen again. I promise.”

Beware of a promise from an Elvis! It’s just as disingenuous as the words “Trust me,” or “Don’t worry.” When some bad guy on TV utters these words, you know there’s trouble on the way, don’t you? Trust me!

Some Elvises have mastered the art of giving vague instructions. Left at your own devices, you start guessing what the desired tone and tempo of the voice-over read might be, and you press record.

Later that day, the Elvis gets back to you telling you everything you did wrong, and how could you be so dumb and inexperienced? You really should have done it this way, or that way…. A real professional would have known!

Apparently, real professionals can read minds!

The thing is: you can’t give clients what they want if they don’t tell you what it is. Countless marriages fall apart over this principle, and so do professional relationships.

Other Elvises are essentially micro-managing know-it-alls, who know very little. The more they get involved, the more time it will take you to finish the project. “Just let me do my job, and I’ll let you do yours,” you think. But no, they’ve got to be in control of every stinkin’ detail, driving you crazy with their calls and emails.

Some Elvises are accomplished liars. They hire you to do a voice-over “for internal use only.” Before you know it, it’s all over the web, and when you try to get a hold of them to ask for more money, they’re MIA, laughing all the way to the bank. Meanwhile, your colleagues show little sympathy, because you should have joined the Union, as they have told you a million times.

Thanks a bunch, fellows!

While it may hurt, there is some truth to what they’re saying. They are telling you the same thing your parents told you when discussing the birds and the bees:

“When you’re ready to do it, make sure you have protection.”

Nobody forces you to be in bed with a bad client. Nobody will make you work without a written contract or a down payment. No one says you have to take the abuse, and dance when the client says “Dance!”

It’s one of the advantages of being your own boss. There are no more mediocre managers or power-hungry executives who tell you what to do.

You’re on your own, and you decide what you will or will not tolerate.

So, do yourself a huge favor. Leave all those disorganized, penny-pinching, impossible to please, disrespectful, I’ll pay you whenever, lying Elvises for what they are.

Better still: Send them to Fiverr and VoiceBunny (and a whole bunch of other predatory voice casting sites I won’t name).

Let them deal with the Elvises of this world. Likes attract, so maybe they’ll get along.

As an attorney instructor once put it:

“The bad clients you don’t take, will be the best money you never made.”

Paul Strikwerda ©nethervoice

PS After reading this story, French colleagues told me Elvis declared bankruptcy, and his website has been suspended. You know what they say about karma, don’t you? Unfortunately, there are still people who never got paid.

PPS Be sweet. Subscribe, and retweet!

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Is Your Client Driving You Crazy?

David Ogilvy

After last week’s story about bad clients, one reader wanted to know:

“Have you ever fired a client, and why? I have one customer who is driving me nuts, but I can’t afford to lose his business.”

First of all, that’s a horrible position to be in. Many freelancers choose to run their own business because they don’t want to depend on someone or something else. Having big spenders as clients may seem fantastic, but if you’re not careful, you end up being in their pocket, and they start pulling all the shots.

David Ogilvy, the famous advertising guru, took great care in selecting his clients. That concept alone was revolutionary. If you’re a service provider, don’t clients choose you? Isn’t that how the game is played? Not in Ogilvy’s world.

Ogilvy and his partner would turn down about sixty clients every year, and this was one of their rules:

“Never work for a client so big you can’t afford to lose them.”

They once turned down Ford because the iconic motor company would represent half of their total billing.

So, to get back to my reader’s question: be selective in whom you want to work with, even if you’re just starting out. Don’t put all your eggs in one or two baskets. It makes you overly dependent, and very vulnerable. If that one big client pulls out, you’re toast.

Have I ever fired a client? I sure have, and I’m happy I did. It wasn’t all about money. In fact, in many cases money had little to do with it.

Here are a few clients I gladly gave the sack:

THE DICTATOR

Here’s the client who thinks he owns you twenty-four seven. He always knows best; he’s overly demanding, disrespectful, and never satisfied. These people are impossible to please. The more you try, the less you succeed.

Working for dictators made me hate myself and my job. I did everything I could to avoid contact with them because it was emotionally draining. No money in the world could make up for how lousy I felt working for these bullies.

THE VIOLATOR

Some clients act as if the rules don’t apply to them. Even with a written agreement in place, they try to bend and break it as fast as they can: “Sorry, we can’t pay you within thirty days. We’ll cut a check as soon as the end-client pays us.”

“Did the agreement say that we have to pay you even if we don’t use your recording? Well, that’s just too bad. We have switched gears, and don’t need your voice-over anymore.”

When you continue working for a client who is not paying your bill, you are sending the message that you are not worth the fee you charge.

THE CHEAPSKATE

Stay away from clients with great ideas and no budget, and the ones that try to nickel-and-dime you from the get-go. I once fired a long-time client of mine that was locked into old rates. When I increased my fees across the board, she insisted I make an exception “for old times sake.”

While it may seem like a “nice” gesture, deals like that hold your business back. Time spent on these small-budget clients prevents you from spending that time working for a client who respects your rate. Ogilvy was right when he said:

“Only work for clients who want you to make a profit.”

THE UNETHICAL

When thinking of your clients, ask yourself these two questions:

“Do they sell a product or service I can be proud of?”

“Will I be able to do my very best work?”

Whether you’re a copywriter, a graphic designer, or a voice-over, you will be professionally associated with a product or service you helped promote. Your reputation is always on the line.

An advertising agency I had worked with in the past, asked me to voice a commercial for one of the world’s worst weed killers. I politely declined, and they understood. My voice is for hire, but my integrity is not for sale.

It’s up to you where you draw the line, but I would never want to be involved in something illegal, or help sell something I’m morally against.

THE UNPROFESSIONAL

Some clients are completely unorganized and in over their heads. One day they want one thing. The next day all has changed. It’s something you find out once you start working with them. As a freelancer, you’re used to juggling many plates, but you’re not getting paid to help your clients juggle theirs.

Sometimes clients become overly friendly. They start calling at night with some lame excuse. It turns out: they just want to talk about a personal issue, or they start gossiping about a colleague they’ve worked with. Before you know it, they’ll be asking you favors because of the perceived friendship.

Take my word: keep things clean, and have clear boundaries. It’s painful to have to fire these clients, because you know they’ll start gossiping about you to the next professional they cling to. But if you give in because you want to be nice, they’ll suck up your time and tire you out.

THE HIDDEN MESSAGE

All the clients I just described have a few things in common: They keep you from growing your business. They drag you away from your goals. They also appear on your path as your teachers.

People who don’t respect you, are giving you a chance to learn to respect yourself.

People who distract you, are showing you the importance of being focused.

People who don’t pay you, are testing what you think of the value of your work.

People who are trying to manipulate your feelings, are helping you grow a pair.

Now, if you are bound by a contract I’m not suggesting you break your word and fire these clients. Rather than cutting them loose, you’ve got to cut your losses, fulfill your obligation, and learn from the situation.

But should these clients contact you again for a project, respectfully decline their offer. All they would do is take the fun out of your job. And as Ogilvy said: