Did you hear the joke about the three voice-over actors bragging in a bar?
“My condenser has phantom power,” says the guy with the spooky voice.
“My shotgun produces killer demos,” retorts the man in black.
“My ribbon has a suspended diaphragm,” snaps the girl in the Harlan Hogan baseball cap.
Waitress: “Anyone ordered a Blue Bottle?”
Unidentified customer: “No, I just got a Snowball.”
“Can I get some MixCubes on the side, please?”
Waitress: “Active or Passive?”
Hearing voice-overs talk is like listening to a Monty Python skit. It can be slightly surreal and silly. One thing’s for sure: many VO’s have opinions. Strong opinions, especially when it comes to gear.
Whenever people take themselves too seriously, I’d like to tickle them a little. If you ever plan on messing with the mind of a VO-pro, go to an online voice-over group and type in the following words:
“I am new to this business and I need your help. What’s the best voice-over mic?”
Unknowingly, you just released the beast. If you honestly believe that the Yankees-Red Sox rivalry is a big deal, wait until you get voice-overs started on their choice of mics…
You’ll soon discover that some VO-Pros suffer from a condition the psychological community calls “Microphone Envy.” So far, there is no sound treatment for this auditory affliction.
Here are some of the comments these hired voices might make about their precious sound catchers (in order to protect their identity, I decided to name all of them ‘Mike’).
Gear Geek-Mike: “My mic has a 32 mm gold sputtered thin Mylar capsule.”
Show-off Mike: “Mine has a retail value of $7,775. I got it for 7 grand on Ebay.”
Frugal Mike: “My cheap Chinese mic sounds almost like your pricey German one.”
Model Mike: “But I cut a deal with the Germans to endorse this microphone”
Macho-Mike: “Mine is bigger and better.”
If you happen to be in the market for a microphone, these message boards might not be the best place to solicit advice. In fact, I highly recommend not asking anyone for any recommendations. Period. Not online. Not in the shop. Trust me, you’ll sleep much better. Determine how much you can afford to spend and start doing your own homework instead.
Researching mics can be good fun. Why not fire up your laptop on a rainy Sunday afternoon, and listen to a few microphone tests. The fellows on this page always manage to crack me up… They’ll say something like this:
(test: courtesy of Nethervoice Sound Laboratories)
Remember though that a microphone is only one part of an audio chain and that different people will sound differently on the same mic. One colleague just bought a brand new and very expensive German mic. It was exactly the same make and model he had purchased fifteen years ago. In spite of that, the old and the new mic had their own, distinctive sound!
Many of you have asked me what microphone I use to bring home the bacon (not an easy thing for a vegetarian). I use an MXL VO: 1 A cardioid condenser microphone. It’s the first mic designed for voice-overs by veteran voice actor Harlan Hogan.
Not only is it very affordable; should you decide it’s not for you, you can send it back because it’s sold with a no-questions-asked money back guarantee.
The VO: 1-A has been tested against much more expensive industry standard voice-over microphones such as the Sennheiser 416, the ElectroVoice RE20 and even the Neumann U87. Without exception, the reviews have been stellar. But what matters most to me is the fact that my clients seem to like what they hear (and I have some very picky customers!).
If you experience a sudden attack of “Microphone Envy,” remember this:
Writing about microphones is like ice skating about food.
It doesn’t really make sense. Just as you can’t get wet from the word water, you don’t know if a certain microphone is the one that will flatter your voice the most by merely reading about it or by staring at a picture. You’ve got to give it a spin and use your ears.
So, have you heard the one about the two voice-overs in a bar?
With tears in his eyes, the first one exclaims:
“Why did Don LaFontaine have to go before his time? It is so unfair.”
The other one thought about it for a moment, took a deep but silent voice-over breath, and replied:
“I guess God wanted his voice back!”
Paul Strikwerda ©nethervoice.com
PS This blog only reflects my personal opinion and I am not compensated in any way for featuring certain brands and/or products. It was written in 2009. These days, my microphone of choice is the Microtech Gefell M930 Ts. Click here for my review.