It was a question that popped up some time ago, on the Voice Acting Alliance (Unofficial Group) on Zuckerbook. It is one of the groups I gladly dismembered myself from at the beginning of the year.
This group seemed to be populated by bored, ignorant teenagers who wanted the keys to voice over success on a silver platter without ever having to leave their smelly bedrooms.
Instead of making a meaningful contribution, they came up with dumb questions that had been answered a million times (“How do I find work as a VO?”), and they heckled the pros who were seriously trying to help them.
Whenever people with way more experience tried to remind them that it takes more than a cheap USB-microphone and a laptop to have a career in voice overs, they were ridiculed as old farts who supposedly felt threatened by the younger generation.
Being a member of this group was a perfect waste of time, but I do miss it sometimes. Why? Because every now and then, I found some golden nuggets of comedy. Here’s a classic example (and I’m not making this up):
Group question: “Please, what is voice acting all about?”
Someone named Tiffany responded by saying:
“It’s acting with your voice only for many forms of media.”
Well done, Tiffany! Surprisingly, voice acting is “acting with your voice.”
But then came Alexei, who wrote:
“It involves knitting alpaca wool sweaters and delivering fresh laid eggs to the neighborhood carpentry guild members. Hats are required and must hold a minimum of four colored feathers and a seasonal flower.”
Then Damian chimed in, asking:
“Can you recommend a good hat for a beginner on a budget?”
I almost peed in my pants, I was laughing so hard when I read these lines.
Looking back, I really miss these moments of spontaneous silliness. Everybody is so serious and easily offended these days. The groups I still belong to are made up of proper voice actors who get into these long debates about the differences between the Sennheiser MKH416 and the Rode NTG3.
Come on, people. Lighten up a little! Most of us are hired to sing the praises of potato chips and bathroom tissue. We’re not members of the Royal Shakespeare Company. If newbies are having fun with us, why can’t we have some fun with newbies?
Now, if you will excuse me, I’m going back to knitting a few alpaca wool sweaters, and I have a few eggs to deliver.
If only I could find my feathered hat…