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DON’T ASK A QUESTION IF YOU…

Blog, Career

At first he came across as self-assured, but in a pleasant, non-threatening way. I knew who he was, long before he called me for help. I had heard his voice numerous times in commercials, and also as a judge for voice over awards. He had one of those iconic voices that always made an impression. 

“Paul, I’ve read your book and I follow you on social media. I don’t comment because that’s not something I do, but I like your no-nonsense style.”

That’s how our conversation began. 

He took the initiative and kept on taking it throughout our phone call. What he wanted was some guidance, and he made it very clear what would not work for him.

“Listen, I’ve paid a lot of money to supposedly smart coaches over the years, and the only thing they told me was that I did all the right things. Don’t change a winning horse, they said. Keep on doing what you’re doing. If it ain’t broke…”

He sounded frustrated and a bit angry.

“I don’t want you to tell me how good I am. I KNOW how good I am. I want to hear from you what I need to improve so I can book more jobs. I want you to be brutally honest. Can you do that for me?” 

“I’ll be honest with you,” I said. “I’m not going to tell Rembrandt how to become a better painter, but I can help him sell more paintings. Is that something you’re interested in?” 

He liked that metaphor, and it sounded like he wanted to sell more paintings. To put it more accurately, he told me he NEEDED to sell more after his expensive divorce. 

No matter how successful you think someone is, you never know what’s really going on beneath the surface.

“May I make one observation?” I asked. 

“As long as it’s relevant” he said, sounding annoyed.

“Well, you be the judge,” I answered. “Here’s what I’ve noticed in the few minutes that we’ve been talking. You’re here because you need my help, and you start off by telling me how I should do my job, and what I can and cannot say to you. Is this something you are used to doing?”

“That’s just who I am. I can’t help that.”

“Are you like this with all your clients too?”

“Of course,” he said. “Most of them don’t even know what they want, so I’ll tell them. That’s why they hired an expert.”

“How’s that working for you?” I asked, pretending to be Dr. Phil. 

For a moment he seemed lost for words because he didn’t say anything.

Then we got mysteriously disconnected, and I never heard from him again. 

A year later one of my colleagues asked:

“Have you heard about so-and-so?” 

It turned out it was my Mr. Rembrandt.

“What about him?” I wanted to know. 

“Well, a friend of mine told me he got fired from a couple of big jobs because he couldn’t take any criticism. Some say he had some anger management issues during and after his divorce. It’s such a shame because the guy’s so talented.”

“How’s he doing now?” I wanted to know.

“Not so great,” my colleague said.

“I’ve heard he just filed for bankruptcy, and he’s selling all his gear on eBay.”

 

 

 

 

 

PS One of our own has been hard hit by the devastating earthquake in Turkey. Can you please chip in to help Sibel Kirikçi, a Turkish voice over artist ? Click here to  support a fundraiser for Sibel.

 

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Filed Under: Blog, Career Tagged With: anger management, being open to advice, coaching, dealing with criticism, Nethervoice, Nethervoice blog, Paul Strikwerda, receiving feedback, voice acting, voice actor, voice-over coach, voice-over coaching, voice-overs, voiceover blog

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Comments

  1. Debra Stitt says

    February 16, 2023 at 8:44 am

    WOW! That’s a powerful story. A very sad story! 😔

    This isn’t a “quick money” business. It takes a lot of blood, sweat and tears to “arrive,” and that, more often than not, takes years. What a shame to be so inwardly focused and lose sight of what we’re here for. Our value lies in meeting the needs of our clients, not in them catering to ours.

    A tragic loss, indeed.

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    • Paul Strikwerda says

      February 16, 2023 at 9:31 am

      The way I see it, this is clearly a case of where success has gone to someone’s head. It’s impossible to fill a tea cup that’s already full…

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      • Debra Stitt says

        February 16, 2023 at 9:51 am

        Clearly!

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  2. Peter Hopkins says

    February 16, 2023 at 9:02 am

    He’s half right. Some clients don’t know what they want; or their copy sounds like crap.

    But….

    We can’t just tell them how we’re going to do it instead. We can only TACTFULLY suggest how their script should sound. Sometimes they’ll say: ‘yeah; you’re right. Do it like that.’ But others will insist we do it word for word; grammatical errors and all. In that case, either refuse the work because of how it might affect our own reputation or give the client exactly what they’re paying for.

    The man who pays the piper calls the tune. Or should I say: “The producer who pays the voiceover actor dictates the copy.”

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    • Paul Strikwerda says

      February 16, 2023 at 9:35 am

      I’ll often say: “May I try another take, just to give you some options…”

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      • Debra Stitt says

        February 16, 2023 at 9:51 am

        I like that, Paul. Very tactful.

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  3. Rob Reider says

    February 16, 2023 at 10:15 am

    Wow, Paul. Great metaphor. And at the bottom line, it’s not about the talent, it’s about the relationships we have in the business and personal worlds.

    Thanks for sharing this.

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    • Paul Strikwerda says

      February 16, 2023 at 3:37 pm

      Quite often, the personal and professional world come together. I don’t know for sure, but if this guy was treating me this way, I wonder how he had been treating his partner. Relationships can make or break us.

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  4. Drew says

    February 17, 2023 at 1:32 pm

    That is so sad. I have been a guitarist and singer long before I was a voice actor and I’ve met some annoying ego’s in my time they have all been extremely talented and they knew it. I never ever saw myself as truly talented when playing gigs, I was there to please people, to entertain, and to enjoy what I did and that’s my approach to voiceover. Don’t be a pain to work with, be respectful and enjoy what you do. Your client’s satisfaction is your goal after all.

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  5. Christy Spadafore says

    February 17, 2023 at 5:25 pm

    I think I understand the moral of the story here – to not let success go to your head, to not let your ego get in the way of learning new things and new ways of doing things.
    But I can’t help feeling uncomfortable about this post. Is this your story to share? A private conversation, coupled with hearsay, from someone who appears to be going through a very rough patch in life? I have appreciated posts of yours in the past but this one just doesn’t sit right.

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    • Paul Strikwerda says

      February 21, 2023 at 6:38 pm

      Thanks for your feedback, Christy! I can understand that not everyone is comfortable with me sharing this uncomfortable story. Life isn’t always comfortable, and it presents us with teachable moments. I’m describing the situation with broad strokes not naming any names, so I feel I did not violate my confidentiality agreement with the student who hung up on me. The lesson is more important than the specific circumstances I describe, so I stand by my story and I respect that you have a different opinion.

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