nethervoice

Sorry, you’re not “it”.

by Paul Strikwerda in Articles, Career 1 Comment

If I were to make a top-ten of the hardest words in any language, this word would be my number one pick. It’s also one of the shortest. This simple sound has destroyed countless careers; it has propelled people into the depths of depression, and it has broken many hopeful hearts.

It is the horrible, ugly word “NO”.

“No” is every salesperson’s nightmare. “No” has turned rejected lovers into vindictive maniacs. And -as any parent will tell you- “No” can turn the sweetest kid into a manipulative monster. In fact, this two-letter word is so destructive, one could make a case for it to be banned from our vocabulary because of the damage it has done over the ages. But I can predict what our linguists would say to that: “No”.

Here in the States, the nation is watching another season of “America’s got talent.” I pity the three judges who have to sit through a never-ending parade of geriatric belly-dancers, tone-deaf Whitney Houston wannabees, drag queen contortionists and hip hoppers with egos bigger than their beefed up physiques.

They all believe that they’re the next big act to hit the Vegas strip, worthy of a million dollars. All I can think of is: Who opened this loony bin and who is going to close it? I have to admit: in this crazy context, the word “No” can actually be a blessing!

We might watch these voluntary victims of reality TV with amazement, but voice-over talents actually have something in common with these strange folks. We too, audition. We might not do it on national TV, but time and again we have to face the final verdict that could shatter our dreams into a million pieces. Or not. This is what I learned about rejection dejection.

Lesson number one: The greatest disappointments are always well-planned.

Yes, you’ve heard me: we are setting ourselves up for disaster. Expectation and disillusion are twins. Evil twins. The more we expect, the bigger the disappointment.

Watch “America’s got talent” for a few minutes, and you’ll see the following tragic story unfold:

A camera zooms in on a middle-aged librarian who’s showing all the obvious signs of a sedentary lifestyle. The talent tells the interviewer: “I’ve been blessed with a unique gift. Since the moment I took my first breath, I knew I was destined for greatness. I am definitely going to blow the judges away. This is the moment I have been waiting for all my life.”

He steps up to the microphone; introduces himself to the world, and starts rubbing his hands together. This better be good!

The next thing we hear is a sound that can only be described as someone breaking wind to the tune of “America the beautiful”. Yes, we’re blown away alright!

The audience starts yelling; the judges hammer on their red buttons and moments later, our handy hero is crushed and crumbled under the weight of humiliation that will haunt him for the rest of his librarian life.

Lesson number two: know your strengths!

Small fish wanting to play in the big pond better bring something extraordinary to the table, otherwise the big fish will have you for lunch.

One AGT-episode featured a self-professed ‘celebrity impersonator’. He was so bad that -even though he spelled out which impression he was going to do- no one got it. I know voice-over artists who make a decent living pretending to be someone else. Some of them are so good, it’s frightening… they sound even better than the original! But unless and until your impersonation is spot-on, don’t tell the world you’re the next big thing. People might get the wrong impression…

Lesson three: get a reality check.

In other words: go for a second opinion. Get as many second opinions as you can. And please, don’t run to your mother for feedback. She’ll love you no matter what. That’s her job. What you need is an honest opinion. Go to a pro. Not one of those people who get paid to chat you up so you’ll enroll into some vague voice-over academy.

A good coach will analyze every ounce of your talent (or lack thereof), and expose you for what you are. A great coach will also tell you what you need to do to improve. A superb coach will teach you the tricks of the trade.

Back to the show for lesson four: have a recovery strategy.

I am still floored by how ungraceful some of the untalented are in defeat. They become defensive, they come up with excuses, they blame the judges… it’s always something or someone else, isn’t it?

Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for positive reinforcement. But America’s upbeat culture of programmed positive praise has led to a distinct lack of self-awareness and humility. Thus, smiling small town heroes turn into angry big town, big time losers when they hear the dreaded word “No.”

This begs the question: how should one prepare for possible rejection? Should we simply expect not to expect anything? That way, we won’t ever be disappointed. If you don’t strive to win, you’ll never lose. Could that be the answer? But what about our hopes, our dreams and aspirations? Isn’t life about taking risks, shooting for the stars and about being the best one can be? Had we been playing it safe, we’d still be staring at the moon, instead of landing on it.

Here’s the good news. There is an effective way of dealing with denial. It’s no magic bullet, but it will certainly keep you grounded. It is part of what I call my ‘Ultimate Auditioning Strategy’. I have refined it over many years, and I’d be happy to share it with you.

Here’s the thing: this strategy works for any type of audition. I have taught it to musicians, stage actors, public speakers, job seekers, sports people and yes… to voice-over artists.

The Ultimate Auditioning Strategy

 

Whether you’re applying for a job or for a part in a commercial, there comes a time when some of us have to face our greatest fear: the fear of rejection. Especially the people-pleasers, the doormats and the perfectionists of this world, have a particularly hard time in the hot seat. If you happen to be intimately acquainted with one of those people, this is for you.

MINDSET

Having been in the voice-over business for over 25 years, I am absolutely convinced that a successful try-out is only in part based on vocal cords, experience and skills. Most of it has to do with being in the right mindset. Let me give you an example.

GuitarOne of my cousins is an amazingly talented guitar player. His technique is truly breathtaking, only paralleled by the likes of Tommy Emmanuel and John Williams. Every time he plays for me in the comfort of his own room, he sets his six strings on fire. If he wanted to, he could be up there with the Paco Pena’s and the Yngwie Malmsteens.

Unfortunately, no one has ever heard of him. Why? Because he never thought he was good enough, and somehow, he wasn’t able to summon the courage to get on stage and share his gift with the world. He was and is his own biggest stumbling block.

Do yourself a favor: don’t be like my cousin! If you have talent, there’s no failure in “going for it.” However, if you don’t, the game’s already lost before it even started.

VITAL COMPONENTS

The way I see it,  a successful audition is the result of three vital ingredients: competence , confidence and being at the right place at the right time. Some call the last component luck, but as Samuel Goldwyn once said: “The harder I work, the luckier I get.”

Now, let me share a few things that have helped me tremendously. Even though some of the fundamentals I am about to describe apply to cattle-call situations, most steps are relevant to those who audition on-line as well.

The first ‘secret ingredient’ is the fact that my Ultimate Audition Strategy starts long before I step up to the mic. It’s made up of a number of “empowering beliefs” that have become part of my DNA (Dutch Natural Attitude):

1. Treasure your talents and know your limitations.

2. Build on your strengths and work on your weaknesses.

3. Hone your craft, while learning from the best.

BEING THERE

4. When it’s time to audition: come prepared and always arrive early.

5. Dress professionally. Don’t make a beginner’s mistake by thinking that it’s only about the way you sound. Plus: you won’t be the first voice-over actor being offered an on-camera job as the result of an off-camera audition.

6. Before you’re called in, find a space to center yourself and mentally rehearse what you’re about to do, picturing a positive outcome. Don’t allow others to distract you.

7. Be confident, not cocky. Your attitude should be an asset and not a turn-off.

8. Leave your troubles at the door. If you can’t do that for an audition, how are you going to handle personal problems during a recording session?

9. Realize that the client needs you as much as you need the client. Connect with them from the very first moment you walk in. Remember: a smile is the shortest way between two people.

10. Make it easy to work with you: be open to suggestions; follow directions, relax and have some fun.

11. Once you’re in the hotspot…give it all you got, and then some. If you know that you gave it your all, there is no such thing as failure. Only feedback.

12. Make your first read a good one, but never make it your best. Give the director something to work with. It’s her opportunity to show the client what a genius she is…

13. Do not criticize the hand that might be feeding you. Generally speaking, badmouthing others (including your colleagues) doesn’t make you any better either. On the contrary.

14. Be gracious and grateful. Thank the casting crew for the opportunity, and make sure that your last impression is a lasting one. Hand out your cards and demos before you leave, if you haven’t done so already.

15. When you’re out of the limelight, find a quiet place and imagine stepping outside of your body; put yourself into the voice-seekers shoes as you evaluate your own performance. What went well? What could have gone better? What can you do next time to “kick it up a notch”? What do you need to do to get there?

What you do next is absolutely crucial:

16. Let go of the outcome. Forgedaboudit! Put your performance in a balloon and release it. If it comes back to you, celebrate! If it doesn’t, know that someone else in this universe is jumping for joy.

17. If you don’t hear anything back, realize two things: delays are not denials. Even though we live in a world of instant gratification, patience is still a virtue. If it’s a “No”, understand that auditioning is a process of selection, not rejection. Just because they didn’t pick you, doesn’t mean your audition was crap. Just because you didn’t get the part, doesn’t mean you have failed in life. Even the best chefs can’t please every single diner.

18. Embrace the fact that living is learning, and that we often learn more from the things that don’t go as planned, than from the things we’ve already mastered.

19. Move on! This industry rewards the go-getters, not the whiners and the finger-pointers. As long as you know that you did your best, and that you took something useful away from the audition experience, your time was well-spent.

Paul Strikwerda ©nethervoice


Getting the edge in voiceovers

by Paul Strikwerda in Articles, Career Comments Off on Getting the edge in voiceovers

What’s the link between a rice beverage and voice-over work?

In a “Taste the dream” contest, Rice Dream offered prize winners the chance to experience their dream job for 3 days. The ad agency that came up with this campaign thought that our line of work qualified as a ‘dream job,’ because they put a picture of a voice-over person on the milk carton.

Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love what I do for a living, but since launching my business  nethervoice, I have received several emails, asking me for a reality check. Most of them go like this:

Dear Mr. Nethervoice:I am James Kumbatani, the grandson of the late Mr. Oshia Bumbayashi, grand chief of the Olali tribe. Mr. Bumbayashi left me in charge of his personal fortune valued at seven million….

 

Sorry, wrong email. Here’s the one I was looking for:

Dear Mr. Strikwerda:

I am an aspiring voice over artist and my dream is to break into the business. People have told me that it’s not as easy as it sounds. Do you agree? What did you bring to the table that -in your opinion- gave you an edge over other voice-over professionals? Thank you for your time.

Penny Whistle

This is what I wrote back:

Dear Penny:

Great voice-over talents make what they do sound so natural and easy, no wonder why so many people believe anyone could pull that off in a heartbeat. In reality, voice-over artists are no different from other performers or athletes. When people hear a great pianist play or watch a well-know sports star at the top of her game, they usually don’t think of all the years these pros had to put in, in order to get where they are now. Long before I became a full-time voice over pro, I learned some things that -as you put it- gave me an edge.

1. Sight Reading

Thanks to the never-ending encouragement of my mother, I’ve always been an avid reader. During my days as a news anchor for Dutch International Radio, I got used to reading last-minute news flashes and intros without skipping a beat. Today, I can print out a script, glance it over and take it into my sound booth and press ‘record.’ A few minutes later, my demo is on its way to the client. If I’m working on an actual job, however, I apply a different strategy (see 3 & 4).

2. Foreign languages

Growing up in Holland, I was exposed to many different languages and accents. I speak Dutch, English, German and some French & Portuguese. I also know some Latin and Hebrew. Unlike many Europeans, Americans usually aren’t polyglots, and I do my very best to take full advantage of that. Knowing how to pronounce unfamiliar names of people and places has been a great help in my career. Some clients like working with me, because I’m able to record the same commercial in four different languages.

3. Translating & Proofreading

I also work as a proofreader/translator, and I’m a professional nitpicker when it comes to scripts. Last-minute submissions often contain slips of the pen, and my clients are always grateful when I spot those mistakes and correct them. It shows them that I’m not just reading anything people put in front of me. It’s a great opportunity to show my clients that I care as much about their reputation as they do.

The other day, I was recording a Dutch commercial and the director asked me to translate some last-minute additions right there and then. No problem! I regularly receive international copy that was translated with the help of translation software. That’s usually a BIG red flag! I often end up correcting the work of a robot before I start recording a script that was supposedly ‘translated’.

4. Journalism

As a former newscaster, checking my sources has become second nature. Sloppy copywriters have handed me scripts with incorrect website addresses, wrong phone numbers and even company names that were misspelled. I always verify the information provided, no matter how reliable the source. Another thing I do is research the company I’m dealing with. Not only does it give me a feel for the corporate culture, I also check in with the Better Business Bureau and research the reputation of a particular business.

A word of warning: even though a company might have a good BBB rating, things could still be fishy.

A few months ago, I was approached by “European Immigration and Translation Consultants” in Florida. This company asked me to translate a birth and a marriage certificate. They received my work the very same day and they thanked me by writing out a bad check. Of course I ended up paying a fee to my bank. I asked for a money order instead, with the penalty added to the bill, but the agency refused.

After some more research, I found out that the con-sulting company was run by a con artist who was wanted by the Canadian authorities. Of course I filed a complaint with the BBB, but the company never responded. All the bureau could do was giving them an “F” rating and close the case.

5. Love of music

As an amateur musician, I developed a sense of rhythm, diction and melodic lines that is very helpful when it comes to getting into the groove of the music in a commercial or a narration. As a cornet-player and  singer, I’m blessed with increased lung capacity and breathing support. Singing is great gymnastics for your voice. It’s a fun vocal cord workout that not only gives you the stamina to complete a long recording session; it also enhances voice projection, diction and flexibility.

Penny, if you’d like to learn more about this business, I suggest you read Harlan Hogan’s “Tales and Techniques of a Voice-Over Actor.” In it, Harlan quotes Dick Moore of the American Federation of Television and Radio Artists, AFTRA (now SAGAFTRA).

Moore says that of the eighty thousand AFTRA members the union represents, no more than a hundred people do most of the voice work.

So, in order to stand out, not only do you need to be outstanding at what you do; you also need to bring something special to the table. There are thousands of hopefuls out there, and all of them believe they have a fantastic voice.

Ultimately, it’s what you can do with that voice that makes all the difference.

Best of luck to you.

Now I’m off to have a cold rice beverage.

Cheers!

Paul Strikwerda ©nethervoice


Busting Five Voice-Over Myths

by Paul Strikwerda in Articles, Career 5 Comments

Some of you won’t like what I am about to reveal, but it needs to be said.

Yes, I will be the Debbie Downer of the voice-over community and the rain on your parade. If you’re a seasoned vo-pro, my message should come as no surprise. But I realize that blogs like these are also read by aspiring voice-over artists, and it’s about time that they should know the truth (or at least my version of it). Even if it hurts.

PERSISTENT MYTHSTAKES

In times of recession, desperate people cling to desperate things. For many, a new career as a voice-over artist seems to be the next best thing. Let me tell you point blank that it’s not. Far from it. Yet, every day, hundreds of hopefuls plunge into the pool of voice-over talent without even knowing how to swim. Why? Because they’re holding on to ideas that have no basis in reality.

Take your pick and allow me to burst your bubble:

1. “I LOVE YOUR VOICE”

Tons of people have told you that you have a great voice. “You’d do so much better than that woman announcing the Tony Awards,” they said. And you’ve heard it so many times that you start believing it yourself. Could this be a new career; the golden key to fame and fortune?

Without realizing it, you just made mistake number one. Thinking that having a good voice is all it takes, is like saying that, in order to be a successful actor, all you need are great looks. As far as I can tell, only Tom Cruise pulled that one off.

Owning a Steinway doesn’t automatically make you a great pianist. Having a Viking range in your kitchen doesn’t make you a phenomenal chef. Having a good set of vocal chords definitely helps, but it’s a very small piece of a big puzzle. Knowing how to use that voice is a different matter!

2. IMPRESSIONISM

Friends have said that you do a mean Morgan Freeman impression. In fact, they like it so much that you’re asked to perform your little trick at parties and high school reunions. It got you thinking: “Mr. Freeman must make lots of money reading a few words off a page. If he can do it, why can’t I? The world loves impersonators, right?”

Wake up, pal: we already have one Morgan Freeman. We do not need a clone. Your impression might be dead-on, but if you’re hoping to ride on the back of his success, you’ll always be someone you’re not. Making money impersonating a celebrity could get you in all kinds of legal trouble too. More importantly, you’re betraying yourself by forsaking what makes you truly unique: your very own sound.

3. RADIO GA-GA

You read the news for a local station. The latest membership drive didn’t go so well, and all of a sudden you’re as relevant as yesterday’s paper. What’s worse: you’re out the door. Thank goodness for your radio training. You can always become a voice-over artist, right? After all, it’s basically the same thing.

Next, you join one of those voice-over casting sites, and you record your first audition: a paragraph from a book about bachelor cardiac surgeons, voluptuous nurses and broken hearts.

Luckily, your membership came with a free voice evaluation and your coach gave your first demo…. a firm thumbs down. What hurt you the most was that the fact that she said that you sounded “like a news reader”. Wasn’t that supposed to be a good thing?

4. EASY MONEY

Even though your financial advisor warned you not to do it, you decide to tap into your nest egg and spend part of your IRA on a decent home studio and premium memberships of voices.com, voice123.com and voplanet.com. If you’re gonna do something, you might as well do it right! These sites will no doubt open the door to big companies offering big bucks to have you do a 20 second commercial or a 2-minute narration. Just wait and see… A few auditions a day will make the recession fade away!

I guess no one ever told you that almost 40% of professional voice-overs makes less than $25,000 per year, even after having been in the business for 10-25 years. Over one quarter of those surveyed make less than $10,000 per year.  (Source: VoiceOver Insider magazine). If that’s not living large…. I don’t know what is!

Veteran voice actor Ed Victor shared that over the past four weeks, he had submitted 50 auditions on Pay 2 Play sites. The net result: zero jobs. Mind you: Ed is known as “The Big Gun” of the business. In my opinion, he is the cream of the crop. But even if your last name happens to be Victor, it doesn’t automatically make you a winner.

5. OVERNIGHT SUCCESS

Would you ever pick up a violin and after a few weeks of practice and no lessons, record your first CD? Of course not.

No one would walk into a sports store and get the best tennis gear money can buy, and expect to be playing Wimbledon the week after.

Now explain to me why some wannabe voice-actors dig deep into their pockets and invest in top of the line equipment without any formal training or experience, expecting instant return on investment?

It takes great skill and practice to breathe life into a text, as well as technical expertise. It’s very similar to mastering a musical instrument. It usually takes many years to become an overnight success. And as we’ve seen, even respected talents find that the pickings are becoming increasingly slim. So, if you’re still thinking of pursuing a voice-over career, think again…. and then some more.

In a way, it’s like that picture on the box of your microwave dinner. It makes you hungry, but the meal usually doesn’t taste half as good as it looks. What’s even worse: it doesn’t have enough nutritional value to sustain you! Yet, millions are falling for it…. and are left hungry and feeling ripped-off.

YOUR TURN

Well, there’s your reality check. I told you this wasn’t going to be pretty. Feel free to disagree with me. Did I mention in my last blog that everything is perception? That’s why I’m really interested in your assessment of the voice-over business. Is it a goldmine or a minefield?

What advice would you give to a newbie? Have you seen talented people fail? What went wrong? Have you made it against all odds? If so, what’s been the secret of your success? What voice-over myths would you like to bust?

Paul Strikwerda ©nethervoice


Mess up your demos!

by Paul Strikwerda in Articles, Career, Promotion Comments Off on Mess up your demos!

Don’t ever think it won’t happen to you.

I guarantee you it will, and when it does, it will leave a bitter taste in your mouth.

A few years ago, a colleague of mine got a disturbing phone call. It was an old friend from high school:

“I didn’t know you were in the voice-over business,” he said. “I was listening to our latest radio promo at work, and I said to myself: I know that voice. And it finally dawned on me. It was you! Great job, man. You’re really good at what you do.”

THE SCAM

“Where exactly do you work?” my colleague asked, quite puzzled. It turned out to be some unknown up-and-coming ad agency. “That’s strange… it doesn’t ring a bell for me, and I practically have a photographic memory for every job I’ve ever done,” my colleague said. A day later, when going through a list of past auditions, he found the answer.

About a month ago, he had sent in a demo for an ad campaign to one of the online voice-over casting sites, and never heard anything back. Until now. Under normal circumstances people might say: You win some, you lose some. Isn’t that part of this business? That may be true, but a client can’t just use an audition recording without paying for it. And my colleague allowed it to happen.

Everybody knows not to walk around with your wallet sticking out of your purse. It’s an open invitation to pickpockets. But when it comes to our demos, some of us are doing just that. Perhaps I should repeat the advice my biology teacher once gave us, while covering a certain subject: Use protection!

You have two options to prevent shady producers from running off with your audio file: watermarking and -my personal favorite- messing things up.

DISTURBING SIGNAL

You’ve probably seen watermarks on pictures, rendering them practically unusable. The same can be done for audio files. Some recording software has this effect built in. Your demo will either have some weird buzz in the background or some noise under part of your read. You can also buy separate watermarking software or produce the sound effects yourself.

Imagine smashing up a couple of plates while recording your demo for that Greek restaurant commercial… Of course this can become quite distracting, and if I were you, I would want clients to pay attention to the brilliance of my performance, and not to some nasty tone or the sound of breaking china.

This brings me to option two, which is even more creative. I usually change a few things in the copy, such as an address or a phone number to make it unusable. I recently recorded an IVR-demo (Interactive Voice Response), and I purposely changed the numbers a little bit:

“For sales, press five hundred and sixty-six, for customer service, press one.

I believe I also said:

“If you don’t know your party’s extension, please dial it now”.

For some of you that might be stretching it. Alternatively, you can choose to leave out a word here and there, but whichever method you prefer, be sure to let the voice-seeker know that you did this on purpose. Otherwise he might think that you recently escaped from a clinic for frustrated voice-actors.

TAKE IT TO COURT

Eventually, my colleague called the ad agency that ran away with his demo. Much to his surprise, they immediately admitted using his audition.

“We played it so the team could hear the type of voice we were NOT looking for,” they said. “We assure you that this was for internal purposes only.”

Some ad agencies take the art of spinning to a whole new level! Whatever the reason, using material you did not pay for is still theft.

Eventually, my colleague called a lawyer to find out if he had a case. 

Here’s the good news: The lawyer was up for it. The bad news: His retainer was more than what my voice-over colleague had made in six months.

Sometimes it’s better to count your losses and smash-up a couple of plates.

Paul Strikwerda ©nethervoice


Money, Money, Money

by Paul Strikwerda in Articles, Career, Money Matters, Pay-to-Play Comments Off on Money, Money, Money

At the bank I once worked for as a trainer, they had a saying:

“If it’s about money, it’s never funny”

Ain’t that the truth! To that I added my own adage:

“Show me your bank account, and I’ll tell you how you lead your life”

Bankers and accountants probably know more about you than your therapist. By analyzing the way you spend your money, they can tell whether or not you lead a healthy lifestyle, if you’re a good planner, and if you can resist instant gratification.

On blogs and networking sites, money is a popular theme. People want to know how much to charge, whether or not they should spend  $399 on a membership of a particular site, and if it’s OK to discount services… the list is endless.

Recently, I found myself caught up in a discussion about on-line freelance job sites like Upwork and Freelancer.com. These sites can connect you with prospective employers from all over the world, and help you find projects that are not listed on the familiar voice-over casting sites.

However, when I looked at the average bids some of our colleagues put in to get voice-over work, I was stunned. If you think that doing a job for $100 is stretching it, wait until you check out sites like guru.com. Your jaw will drop to your knees, and that’s not a good thing if you’re in the voice-over business.  

HARD TIMES

Some people are justifying this downward trend by pointing at the current economic climate:

“Times are still tough. We all have to tighten our belts and do more with less. The only way to still get work is to lower our fees.”

I’m not buying it! Are you?

As I was paying a stack of medical bills, I had a realization. Do our doctors lower their rates because the economy still isn’t doing so great? Would a nurse take care of us at half price? Is a baker going to charge less for his loaf of bread, or would a plumber be willing to show up and take a 40% pay cut? No way. If anything, their fees increase every year to keep up with the rate of inflation.

Then why do some of us feel the need to put themselves up for grabs in the bargain basement?

Remember: once you’re in there, it’s so hard to climb out. Forget how the economy is doing for a moment. If you subscribe to the notion that you often get what you pay for, why are you selling yourself and your colleagues short? What are you afraid of? A certain two-letter word?

THE HARDEST WORD

Top negotiator William Ury wrote a book called “The power of a positive No”. For some of us, that powerful word is one of the hardest in the language. But when we’re saying “No,” we’re asserting ourselves, and we’re affirming our boundaries, whether it’s in an intimate relationship, or in a business relationship.

Being an independent contractor means that we have to have a good sense of what we’re worth. We have to have the guts to stand up for ourselves (and each other), and say “No” when faced with a bad deal. If we don’t, people will inevitably take advantage of us.

Let me rephrase that: If we don’t dare to say “No,” we are allowing others to take advantage of us. Or, as Dr. Phil puts it: “We teach people how to treat us.” Here’s an example.

BRIDEZILLA

Did you know that I used to be a non-denominational wedding officiant? I could set my own fees, and every now and then a newly engaged couple would tell me that they were on a shoestring budget. Before I knew it, they were practically begging me to lower my rate.

In the beginning -when I didn’t know any better- I fell for it big time. I wanted to be liked, and I felt sorry for the couple, as I remembered the times I had to nickel and dime. Guess what… I paid for my lack of backbone, until I had learned my lesson.

First of all, these couples turned out to be the most demanding couples I had ever worked with. I’d give them a finger, and they would ask for the entire hand. I’m all for underpromising and overdelivering, but within reason. If you’ve seen some of the Bridezilla shows, you know that not every princess is as sweet as her Daddy believes her to be.

Secondly, these ‘shoestring weddings’ often turned out to be the most lavish events I’d ever be invited to. Apparently, other vendors had not fallen for the couple’s story of woe. As soon as I had learned my lesson, I encouraged my brides to price officiants out. I’d also tell them that low fees are usually a red flag. It either means that an officiant is just starting out, or that he or she might not be able to offer as many services. I would tell my couples:

“You can’t expect a gourmet meal at a fast-food price.”

When I started to put my foot down, something amazing happened. As soon as I decided to charge a fair fee, people started taking me seriously. Sure, I lost a few weddings due to price, but my limited time on earth is too valuable to have to deal with haggling Bridezillas.  

THE SECRET TO MAKING BILLIONS

Author William Ury recalls a breakfast he once had with Warren Buffet, one of the most successful investors ever. Ury writes: “He confided in me that the secret to creating his fortune lay in his ability to say No.” Buffet said:

“I sit there all day and look at investment proposals. I say No, No, No, No, No, No -until I see one that is exactly what I am looking for. And then I say Yes. All I have to do is say Yes a few times in my life and I’ve made my fortune.”

So, let’s learn from Buffet and promise each other to teach our clients how to treat us.

Say NO to rates and fees that insult your unique talent, your professionalism, your intelligence, and your experience.

Economists tell us that the only way to get out of an economic slump is to start spending again.

If anything, we should start making more, not less.

For that to happen, you need to assert yourself. Or, as I like to say:

“You sometimes have to put your foot down, in order to get a leg up!”

Paul Strikwerda ©nethervoice

HERE COMES THE BRIDE
Some of you

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