Double Dutch

It’s time to tackle one of the most frustrating issues in the voice-over business.

It’s particularly frustrating because in all the years that I have been a VO-pro, I have seen little or no change. Voice-seekers are just not getting it and voice talents are putting up with it like meek sheep.

Before I tell you what the issue is, imagine for a moment, being lead into a pitch dark room. In this room -so you are told- you will find a dart board, but it could be anywhere.

You are given no more than one dart and one instruction: you must hit the bull’s eye. If you don’t, you won’t be given a second chance and all your time and energy is wasted. Questions are out of the question. You are on your own.

Let me ask you this:

How great do you think your chances are to hit that bull’s eye?

Pretty slim, don’t you think?

And yet, day in day out, hundreds of people audition for voiceover jobs of which they have just as little information as someone playing darts in the dark. It’s a risky undertaking. Someone might get hurt. But no one seems to care.

OUR BEST SHOT
How are we expected to give it our best shot if we have little or no clue where the target is and what it looks like? Without a clear destination and a detailed map, it’s almost inevitable to get lost.

And by the way, do you know who the worst offenders are? The people looking for international voices!

Take your typical voice-over job listing. With a little bit of luck it will tell you what it’s for: a video, eLearning, a commercial. If you’re even luckier, it will ask for a specific gender and age range. Now comes the tricky part: language.

For the sake of the argument I will focus on English, but what I have to say also applies to Spanish, Arabic and many other languages.

What goes through your mind when you see that a voice-seeker only lists “English”?

Could they be looking for a talent from Calcutta or for a voice-over from down-under? Should I send an English demo with a touch of Dutch, or would they prefer her Majesty’s English?

And here’s the latest trend: “Neutral English.”

What the heck is “Neutral English”? Where is it spoken? Is there a Rosetta Stone training I could take?

ASK MR. BODALGO
I asked Armin Hierstetter to weigh in on the issue. He’s the boss at Bodalgo, an online voice-over casting site. He’s actually a funny man… for a German, that is. He said jokingly:

“Neutral English” is spoken in “Neutristan,”

and he continued:

“Seriously: Many times clients do not care from where exactly the English is coming from (US, UK, South Africa, Australia). Still, they want a native speaker who – in an ideal world – makes it difficult to judge where exactly she/he is coming from. That’s what a client means by Neutral English.

A casting labeled “Neutral English” will go out to all matching talents that have one of the following as one of their mother tongues: American English, British English, Australian English, South African English etcetera.”

Although I understand what Armin is trying to say, I still don’t get it. To me, it sounds like a contradiction in terms to -on one hand- ask for a native speaker, but to request that one shouldn’t be able to tell exactly where he/she is coming from.

First off, an accent is nothing but a way of pronouncing a language. Accent specialist Pamela Vanderway defines it as: ‘Characteristic Pronunciation‘. It is therefore impossible to speak without an accent. No one is neutral.

Secondly, from a marketing and branding perspective, why would someone want ‘neutral’? Neutral is like cooking without salt and spices; it’s like painting without colors or the equivalent of annoying Muzak in the elevator. Neutral is boring.

THE MESSAGE AND THE MESSENGER
An accent can have a huge impact on how a message is perceived. The choice of voice can be just as important as a company logo or the look of an on-camera actor. It can dramatically increase sales and improve conversion rates. That’s why car companies hire A-list actors such as Jeff Bridges and Robert Downey Jr. to do their voice-overs.

It’s not up to me to teach advertisers or communication managers how to do their job, but to have no voice or accent preference seems to be counter-intuitive.

Third, by opening an audition up to ALL English speakers, the voice-seekers are creating more work for themselves. Theoretically, they are opening the door to auditions from Mumbai, Sidney, Houston, Johannesburg, Amsterdam, Glasgow, Dublin etcetera. Is that really what they want?

Wouldn’t it be much easier and more efficient to specifically describe the voice type, the accent and the read they need? It’s like giving voice actors a map to reach their destination. Why not switch on the light? Otherwise, we’ll end up taking shots in the dark, hoping for the best.

So, here’s the 64 thousand dollar question:

How do you approach an audition for a Neutral English speaker?

In the ideal world, you’d talk to your client and find out what they really want. That’s business 101. Never assume. Always ask. Here are a few “double-nots”:

• Don’t assume that they don’t want an American accent if the commercial is released in the UK;
• Don’t assume that you should not use your British accent if the video is for the U.S. market. Most Americans love British accents. Some even think it makes you sound smarter;
• Don’t assume that making assumptions is going to lead to anything.

If you’re in a position to have a real conversation with your client (what a concept!), ask what it is that they’ll be listening for. Get specifics.

Sometimes clients will tell you: “I really like the voice of Ricky Gervais or John Cleese or David Attenborough. Could you try to get close to that?”

Unfortunately, online voice casting sites explicitly forbid you to contact a voice-seeker directly. So, here are three audition strategies that might just work for you if you’re not sure which way to go with neutral English:

1. MORE = MORE: Record multiple versions of the script using different accents and send it as one file. Give yourself a second chance to make a first impression!

2. ALL OR NOTHING: Make a bold choice, rather than focusing on neutralizing your accent. Make your demo absolutely unforgettable. Clients don’t always know what they want until they hear it. That’s how I shop for clothes. I have no idea what I’m looking for until I see exactly what I want.

3. BLEND IN: Create your own version of ‘neutral’ by blending various accents in your merry voice-over mixer. Rather than giving your clients tulips, you hand them a bouquet of different flowers. I sometimes call my particular accent “Northern European English”.

I can already hear some of you saying: “That’s great advice but does it really work?”

Of course it works, and most of the time it doesn’t.

I once auditioned for a job that -surprise, surprise- came with very detailed instructions. In other words: I knew exactly what to aim for, and my always brutally honest agent said I’d “nailed neutral”.

However, in spite of my intergalactic talent, the client didn’t pick me. A month later I actually heard the commercial I had auditioned for and my jaw dropped to the floor.

The voice they had chosen didn’t sound like the voice they had asked for at all. It couldn’t be more different. The colleague that was chosen for this very lucrative ad had tried the ALL OR NOTHING approach and ended up a winner.

Life is unfair.

Then I remembered the wise words of Internet Voice Coach David Rosenthal. He said:

“It’s not about rejection. It’s all about selection.”

That’s typical David. He always knows how to make me feel better about not feeling very good.

Here’s the thing: sometimes ‘neutral’ leads to nothing. So, take a risk. Get out of your comfort zone. Do something that is embarrassingly silly. Who cares? It’s between you and your mic.

Robin Williams, Eddie Murphy and Mike Meyers make millions doing voice-overs. Would they be where they are today, had they gone for ‘neutral’? I don’t even think they could pull that off. I wouldn’t pay ten bucks to hear them be boring and bland. That’s like going to a fancy bar and ordering tap water. It defeats the purpose.

So, if you happen to hire voices, I have a message for you:

We can read your script but we can’t read your mind.

Please be clear about what you want. Otherwise you’ll end up listening to 100 plus auditions that miss the mark and you have not only wasted your time, but the time of all those hard-working hopefuls that poured their hearts and souls into that audition.

If you’re a voice talent, do yourself a favor. Even if the script calls for ‘neutral,’ add some pizzazz to your demo. Kick it up a notch. Use some garlic and red pepper. Sprinkle it with emotion. Layer it with devotion. Record a few versions and send them all into the universe.

If it comes back to you, it’s yours.

If it doesn’t…

… respond to it as neutrally as you can.

Paul Strikwerda ©2011
www.nethervoice.com

PS Click here for more on so-called “Neutral English Accents”

PPS this story first appeared on Internet Voice Coach, the best online academy for those who use their voice professionally

Technorati Tags: Armin Hierstetter, Bodalgo, darts in the dark, David Attenborough, David Rosenthal, Eddie Murphy, Internet Voice Coach, Jeff Bridges, John Cleese, Mike Myers, Nethervoice, Neutral English, Neutral English accent, Pamela Vanderway, Paul Strikwerda, Ricky Gervais, Robert Downey Jr., Robin Williams, Rosetta Stone, voice-over, voiceover, voiceovers

Today, I went to “La Scala” in Milan, the most famous opera house in the world. It took me half an hour to get there. Rossini’s “Il viaggio a Reims” was shown at the same theater as where I had seen James Cameron’s two dimensional 3-D monsterpiece “Avatar”. In case you missed it: it’s that hyped-up, masterfully marketed mix of cinemagic, eco-babble and Blue Man Group against Giovanni Ribisi.

LIPSTICK AND PORK
Now, every “Iron Chef” aficionado knows that great plating does not make a perfect dish. Put differently: lipstick on a pig doesn’t make the pork taste better… even if that lipstick happens to be a groundbreaking multi-million dollar special effect. As for leading man Sam Worthington’s acting…. it was so flat; I found myself longing for Leonardo DiCaprio. Believe me, in my world, that’s not a good thing.

So, today I opened Pandora’s Box and ended up in Milan. The story of opera in cinema is the story of a great medium reinventing itself. If people don’t come to the opera, the opera will come to the people. Some skeptics said it would be easier for Montagues and Capulets to get along, than for opera and cinema. But I believe that this love story will have a happy ending. As a matter of fact, so do most episodes of Gordon Ramsay’s “Kitchen Nightmares” (how’s that for a smooth transition to my last installment about this show?).

VOICE-OVER MAKEOVER
If your voice-over career could use a makeover, Gordon Ramsay might just be the man to model. You may not like his style or his methods, but his ability to turn ailing eateries around has earned him a reputation. It’s based on a few key ingredients: expertise, experience, gut-feeling and market research.

Ultimately, it boils down to this. Whether you run a restaurant or a voice-over emporium, you have to feed a need. You have to see yourself as the solution to a problem. You are the pleasure that relieves the pain. But before you present your remedy, it is your job to identify your client’s needs, problems and pains to make sure that you are the aspirin that can take their headache away.

THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL
One of the reasons why many so businesses fail, is because they’re trying very hard to be something they’re not, or they’re offering something nobody wants. A brush is not a comb, and it’s useless to try to sell a comb to a bald man. Bald men might need Rogaine or a rug.

Gioachino Rossini -who, by the way, was an outstanding cook- knew what his customers wanted and he gave it to them. When Italian opera went out of vogue, he turned to French librettos. No more pasta. Boeff Bourgignon instead! How did he know that Italian was out? Because he knew his market and he was flexible enough to adjust his sails. It made him a very rich man. And famously fat, too.

STREETSMART
Back to another culinary giant and to “Kitchen Nightmares”. At some point in every episode, Chef Ramsay leaves the acrimony of the kitchen behind and hits the street. His mission is threefold:

1. to find out what people really think of the restaurant he’s trying to rescue
2. to scope out the competition
3. to identify a hole in the market

Armed with that information, he starts devising a plan for the reinvention and re-launch of the business. Translated to our voice-over world that means:

1. get an honest assessment of your strengths and weaknesses from an independent expert. Pick a person who will tell you what needs to be said; not what you’re hoping to hear
2. go online and spend a few days listening to the good, the bad and the ugly in this industry. The ugly will teach you what not to do. The best will tell you what has shaped their career and how they are selling themselves
3. find out where you come in; what’s your unique selling point; your niche?

Then, ask yourself two things:

• “If I would be the answer, what would the question be?”
• “What do I need to do today to get to where I want to be tomorrow?”

PEOPLE PLEASERS
It’s easier said than done, but please avoid making the basic beginner’s mistake of trying to be everything to everyone. Even someone as talented as Robin Williams has his limitations.

CBS news didn’t hire Morgan Freeman because he sounded like James Earl Jones. We all know he doesn’t. Freeman followed in Cronkite’s footsteps because he sounds like Morgan Freeman.

This does not mean that you shouldn’t have a range. However, that range should come from a place of “being” instead of from a place of “pretending” (if that makes any sense to you).

NEW & IMPROVED
Once Ramsey presents the restaurant with a new identity, he takes a good look at all the resources he can muster. It’s a cliché, but change has to come from within, and in this case it starts with the kitchen.

If you’ve seen the show a few times, you know that this almost always involves training or re-training the staff. Most often, this means back to basics. Hand-made super sharp German blades aren’t going to make a difference if your knifing skills don’t cut it. In your hands, they’re probably dangerous.

I’m pretty sure the kind folks at Sweetwater will happily sell you this Manley Reference Cardioid microphone. But let me ask you this: if you were a budding singer, would a new mic make you sound significantly better, or would singing lessons be a wiser investment?

Instead of spending a small fortune on gear, why not spend your money on quality training before you do anything else? I have seen colleagues go under, not because they lacked talent, but because they had the wrong priorities.

BACKYARD
Next, Ramsay usually simplifies the menu, basing it on fresh ingredients grown in the area. He also makes a point of forging a relationship between the restaurant and the local (business) community. He often invites neighboring opinion-leaders to the table. Instead of waiting for customers to come in, he forces the staff to be pro-active and reach out to potential patrons on the street and offer them a sample of the new menu.

There are several obvious lessons to be learned:

1.   The success of your business is equivalent to the strength of your relationships.
2.    Your biggest market might be right under your nose.
3.    Make sure people know that you exist and know what you have to offer.
4.    Don’t sit around and wait for that phone to ring.

PRESENTATION
With a new identity comes a new look. Restaurant owners who tell you that people are only coming for the food and not for the decor, are like voice-overs who insist that it’s all about the way they sound. The thing is: if you are a professional, you have to come across as one.

If you don’t feel comfortable putting your headshot on your landing page, fine, but at least make sure your website is easy to find, easy to navigate and that it whets people’s appetite. There’s a reason why the interior and the exterior of each restaurant get a thorough makeover on “Kitchen Nightmares.” If you want to get the part, you need to look the part.

LAST COURSE
Like a scrumptious desert, there’s one observation I reserved for last. It’s perhaps the most revealing part of this whole series.

It occurred to me that Chef Ramsay never suggests the owner take on the competition by lowering the prices, unless the items on the original menu were ridiculously overpriced.

It’s always about carefully and passionately prepared quality food. It’s about setting and maintaining high standards. It’s about value for money.

You don’t turn a business around by giving in to the lowest common denominator.

Ramsay might tell an owner to be less pretentious and offer simpler fare reflecting the skill set, experience and imagination of the person preparing the food. But he knows that it is perfectly reasonable to sell a good product at a good price. In fact, most people are willing to pay more for an outstanding product. It’s yet another sign of professionalism that you know what you’re worth and that you’re not afraid to charge accordingly.

THE RIGHT RECIPES
As I was leaving the movie theater, a lot was going through my mind. Mostly music. In a way, Rossini’s lavish operatic productions were the equivalent of today’s cinematic blockbusters. His sopranos and tenors were the celebrities of their day and age. Everywhere, people were humming his arias. We still do.

Even if you don’t know anything about opera, I’m sure you can sing one of the melodies from Rossini’s “Wilhelm Tell”, better known as the theme from “the Lone Ranger”. And if you happen to be a foodie, you’ve probably heard of the famous “Tournedos Rossini”, a French steak dish named after the culinary composer. No special effects or 3-D glasses required. And meat lovers say it’s out of this world.

Take that, Mr. Titanic! And hats off to you, Mr. Ramsay!

Paul Strikwerda ©2010

www.nethervoice.com

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