Double Dutch

Something strange and unexpected has happened. Thanks to the growing popularity of this blog, some of my readers now write to me saying:

“Dear Mr. Nethervoice, I enjoy your articles but I never knew you were into voice-overs as well. For how long have you been gracing this world with the sweet, seductive sound of your pleasantly persuasive pipes?”

At that point, I patiently explain that I’ve been working the mic since I was 17, and some three years later I’m still at it. Well, that’ s not entirely true. I feel and act like I’m seventeen… most of the time. Of course information about my illustrious career has been available on other pages of my blog. You know, the ones next to this text that nobody bothers to read.

Since every question is a golden opportunity to enlighten my fans, colleagues and clients alike, I will do something I have never done before, at least not this openly.

For once, I will shamelessly sing my own praises, and if you’re not comfortable with that, I shall retreat into a corner and weep bitter tears of shame and disappointment… and proceed as planned! After all, who is going to stop me?

This is me in a nutshell:

• full-time voice-over artist and writer
• records in English, Dutch (mother tongue) and German
• most in-demand accent:  “neutral” or “European” English
• specialty: intelligent international narration
• impressive clients: Novartis, Deloitte, Plantronics, Farmers Life
• expert-contributor to Internet Voice Coach
• websites: www.nethervoice.com, www.dutchvoiceover.net
• Favorite quote: “Your voice is like velcro. Whatever you say sticks.”

Based on that last line, I should perhaps go by the surname of Stick-worda.

GUIDED TOUR
Now that we’ve made our formal acquaintance, allow me to take you on a quick tour of some of my voice-over projects.

The Dutch are known for being great ice skaters. This is me, telling them about another exciting sport: skate boarding!

On to another mode of transportation. Here’s the only Dutch commercial I ever recorded for the black market:

Ready to get more mileage out of your gas tank? Then you should listen to “Muzzle the Guzzle: 50 Fuel Saving Strategies” by Michael Minsky.

This audio book received an average rating of 4.67 out of 5 stars on the earth-shattering Audible.com Richter scale. Narrated in English by yours truly.

On to other modes of transportation.

Meet Andreas Klauser. He’s the President and CEO for CASE IH, one of one of the world’s largest brands of agriculture equipment.

Born and educated in Austria, Mr. Klauser is a native German speaker. CASE IH asked me to dub a series of meet the CEO-videos, as the voice of Mr. Klauser… in German, that is! Kein Problem für mich!

 

The Austrian ski resort of Zauchensee is one of the hidden treasures of the Alps. Not for long, if it’s up to me.

 

 

 

The Austrian economist Ludwig von Mises was one of the most influential proponents of Liberalism.

Jörg Guido Hülsmann, professor of economics at the University of Paris, tells the full story of his dramatic and inspiring life and contributions in a 1143-page biography.

The Von Mises Institute commissioned me to record the complete audio version of this masterpiece (some 20+ hours) and next week, work will start on a second book.

The Wharton School is the business school of the University of Pennsylvania, an Ivy League university in Philadelphia. Wharton is the world’s first collegiate business school and the first business school in the United States.

I’ll tell you more about Wharton in this presentation:

Haliotika in Brittany (France), offers everything to do with sea fishing, including displays of boats, fish varieties, interactive education for children and boat rides. A very fishy place, indeed.

Take the audio tour, and you’ll hear me as the German voice of Philippe and Claude, two local fishermen talking about net profit.

Camp Gurs was an internment and refugee camp constructed by the French government in 1939. In 1940, it became a concentration camp for Jews of any nationality except French, as well as people considered dangerous by the government. I was honored to narrate the German audio tour.

This Dutch company has produced an ingenious interactive digital movie course. It contains a large collection of known and unknown film clips from 1878 up to the present day.

Each clip is an example of a new discovery in cinematography: editing, camera movement, image cutouts, sound, talkies, color film, acting method, etcetera. This time, I step into the role of English tour guide.

Speaking of tours, we all have our dream homes. I happen to have quite a few of them and thanks to Spartina Studios, I get to be the host of many of Connecticut’s most precious properties. Here’s one of these humble abodes:

There’s no doubt about it: video increases home sales as long as it’s done right. That’s why I have written “Real Estate Videos & Voice Overs,” a white paper for videographers and real estate agents.

Some people still believe that voice-overs is all about doing silly voices (click here for more misconceptions). Well, sometimes it is! Who would have thought that a Dutchman would ever dub Johnny Depp?

Here’s a video I voiced  for an insurance company. It will never win a prize for best animation, but I sure had a blast doing both voices! (the fun starts at 0:53)

This paint of this last video is still wet. Made in Kibbutz Gat, it tells the story of a multi-national  company most of you have probably never heard of.  It’s in Dutch, so I’ll leave it up to you to figure this one out!

Well, that’s all folks!

Thank you so much for enduring this exercise in self-indulgence. I admire your persistence and perseverance. Now you can go back to your daily chores as you reminisce about the delectable servings of eye and ear candy I had the pleasure of serving up for you.

I’m just going to look and listen to all the videos one last time…

… can’t help myself!

Paul Strikwerda ©2011

www.nethervoice.com

Be sweet: please retweet!

Technorati Tags: ABCinema, Andres Klauser, Audible, Camp Gurs, Case IH, Deloitte, digital movie course, Dutch voice over, European English voice-over, German voice-over, Haliotica, Johnny Depp, Jörg Guido Hülsmann, Ludwig von Mises, Ludwig von Mises Institute, making video home tours, Michael Minsky, Muzzle the Guzzle, Nethervoice, neutral English voice-over, Novartis, Paul Strikwerda, pirate spoof, Plantronics, real estate videos, ski resort Zauchensee, Spartina Studios, Street Surfing, The Last Knight of Capitalism, the wave skate board, The Wharton School, Turtle wax, Turtle wax black box, video home tours, voice-over, voiceover, voiceovers

“Dad,” said my almost eight year old daughter…

“What does baklava taste like?”

“It’s like a slice of heaven”, I answered.

“In that case… I don’t want it,” she replied.

“Why not?” I asked. “It’s sooo good!”

My daughter answered:

“I don’t want to taste dead people in my mouth.”

Moments like that are priceless. It’s great to be a parent! This slice of life also reminded me of the fact that things that are apparent to you and me, might not always be so obvious to others. Take language for instance.

THE NATIONAL PASTIME
Here in America, we’re used to all these baseball-related expressions. Ten years ago, I had no idea what would happen if life would “throw me a curve ball”. How could I? I was born and raised in Holland and the Dutch are crazy about ice skating. This was a whole new ballgame!

Yesterday, a videographer touched base with me because he was looking for a narrator. He had used an on-line service to find a voice, and now he was lost in eighty plus auditions. Before he could give me a play-by-play, I jumped in and asked: “Do you really know what you’re listening for?”

“Well,” he said, I don’t want a rookie. I want someone who can hit it out of the park. I mean, this script is a can of corn, and I wouldn’t want a wannabe to drop the ball on me.”

When I heard those words, I knew it was my time to step up to the plate.

TEN RED FLAGS
I’ve been in the business for over 25 years, and it usually takes me 2.5 seconds to identify someone from the bush league. I don’t even need to hear them read a script. Just tell me how much, or rather, how little they charge. Cheap rates are the first red flag.

The second red flag is the quality of the recording. These days, most talents will record in their home studio. It’s cheaper and more convenient, but the quality can definitely suffer. Here are a few common problems.

The volume might be too low, or certain words might be too loud and distorted (that’s called ‘clipping’). You might also hear cars passing by or a dog barking in the background. That should tell you that the recording was not made in a dedicated, soundproofed space. Building a sound booth can set you back thousands of dollars. Most beginners don’t have that much to invest.

If you happen to hear hissing, it’s usually the result of cheap gear or turning up volume settings too high. A hum on the recording is typically caused by a ground loop. It occurs when there is more than one ground connection path between two pieces of equipment. Pros know that. Amateurs have no idea and don’t know how to fix it.

A third indicator is bad microphone technique. How can you tell? You’ll hear popping plosives like P’s, B’s and T’s. You might also hear harsh and shrill S-sounds (so-called ‘sibilance’) that tickle your ear drum in an unpleasant way.

Tip-off number four is lack of vocal technique. An amateur might take very noticeable breaths. Breathing is such a natural thing; most of us aren’t even aware that we’re doing it. Being close to a mic enhances every single sound. Pros have practiced and mastered the ‘silent breath’.

Amateur recordings can also be filled with annoying lip smacks, mouth noises, clicks and crackles. Some of them can be edited out, but bad edits are a fifth sign of amateurism.

Sloppy articulation and incorrect pronunciation come in on number six. Some amateurs are rather lazy speakers, and their delivery will lack clarity, especially when they pick up the tempo. I’ve also heard beginners over articulate certain words, making them sound unnatural and contrived. A professional narrator will do her homework and will correctly pronounce words such as inaniloquent, rastaquouere or nudiustertian.

Poor or inappropriate delivery is clue number seven. You don’t want your serious documentary narrated by an overselling wannabee actor who has watched too many infomercials. Local radio show hosts give themselves away because they have cultivated an “announcer voice”. You’re listening for a crisp, natural delivery. Not for a news reader.

Number eight: the inability to interpret a script. Any text can be read in a million ways. A voice-over professional will always sound like he knows what he’s talking about (even if he doesn’t). An amateur will sound insecure, lost and untrustworthy.

A professional is flexible and appreciates and incorporates feedback fast without fussing. A pro can be coached. An amateur is afraid of criticism; is inflexible and needs a lot of hand-holding and training. What you might save in terms of money, you will inevitably lose in valuable time (not to mention the aggravation…).

Expert firefighter Red Adair once said:

“If you think it’s expensive to hire a professional to do the job,

wait until you hire an amateur.”

Number ten is my personal favorite. You can always spot an amateur by the way certain questions are answered. A few examples:

You: “What kind of monitors do you have?”
Amateur: “What do you mean? I have an 18 inch flat screen Dell monitor”
(monitor is another name for loudspeaker)

You: “How did you stage your gain? Outside or inside the box?”
Amateur: “I don’t really perform on stage. Is there something to gain by doing that?”
(Gain staging means setting the volume levels)

You: “Newman recently came out with a ribbon shotgun microphone. It’s only $199! Should I buy it?”
Amateur: “Really? I didn’t know that! I thought Newman was a Seinfeld character.”
(The correct spelling is Neumann and it is pronounced “Noy-mahn”. There is no such thing as a ribbon shotgun microphone, and Neumanns never come that cheap).

HOME RUN
“You’re an Ace”, my videographer friend said. “Thanks for all these tips. You deserve a place in my Hall of Fame. How did you come up with all that stuff?”

“Oh, you know… I’ve been around the block a few times,” I replied. It’s not exactly rocket science. And as Yogi Berra once said:

Voice acting is 90% mental, the other half is physical.

By the way…. I think it’s time to stop putting all these baseball references into my blog. It gets old after a while. People get it.

“I don’t know,” said my friend. “Can you give me a rain check on that one?”

“Alright, that’s it! I’m not playing your game anymore,” I said.

“I am going to make myself a nice strong cup of coffee.

And guess what I’m having with it?

Some delicious pastry made of layers of phyllo dough filled with chopped nuts and honey.”

Ah… the sweet pleasures of life: Baseball and Baklava…

Paul Strikwerda © 2010
www.nethervoice.com

PS Does the temperature of your microphone influence the way you sound? Read the story of my unexpected discovery…

Technorati Tags: announcer voice, bad microphone technique, baklava, Baseball expressions, British voice-over, clipping, Dutch voice over, English voice-over, German voice-over, hiss, how to spot a voiceover amateur, lazy speaker, Nethervoice, Neumann microphones, Paul Strikwerda, Red Adair, script interpretation, shotgun microphone, sibilance, the national pastime, voice-over amateur, voice-over talent, Yogi Berra