Double Dutch

Let me preface this post by saying that I feel very lucky.

In the past 25 years I was able to develop a strong relationship with a number of clients. The longer we go back, the fewer words we have to waste on what each side is expecting from the other.

It’s almost like a marriage. And very much like a marriage, a lasting business relationship needs commitment from each partner. It can be love at first sight and it can also end in a divorce, due to unspoken expectations and unfulfilled desires.

Throughout the years I have heard colleagues complain about their clients:

“She doesn’t speak to me anymore” or “He dumped me in a heartbeat for some cheap actress. I thought that what we had was special.”

And how about this one:

“All I ever wanted was a little bit of attention. Was that too much to ask?”

It usually is.

When I just started out as a freelancer, one of my more cynical mentors warned me against romanticizing the relationship with my clients. His mantra:

“Business is business and the rest is bullish*t.”

Today, these words resonate even stronger. In these fast and furious times, online matchmaking is getting more and more popular. And nobody seems to take it slow anymore. Making small talk is so yesterday.

“I need your demo now. Are you available this afternoon?”

Before you know it, you’re off into some dark room talking to yourself, and when you’re done recording, you dump the files into a dropbox.

As one of my friends put it: “I almost feel used.”

Well, isn’t that the whole idea? We offer our services. We deliver our services. We move on. End of story.

Let’s be honest. Most times, both parties aren’t that interested in getting to know each other before the deal is sealed.

How well do you really know your clients? How well do they know you?

Does it even matter?

In most cases it doesn’t, as long as the job gets done.

That’s why it is time to take off those rose-colored glasses and get rid of your great expectations. Here’s my top ten of things most clients don’t seem to care about anymore:

1. YOU
All you are is a solution to a problem; a means to an end. It’s your job to ensure that the benefits of hiring you outweigh how much you charge. Your client doesn’t have to care about you. It’s your work that matters.

2. YOUR PERSPECTIVE
What you perceive to be the benefits of your service is not important. The question is: Do you understand and can you meet the needs of your clients?

Your take on a script (or any other freelance assignment) may be interesting, but it’s often irrelevant. You’re the stylist. The client determines how she wants her hair cut. Unless you have permission to be creative.

3. YEARS OF EXPERIENCE
The fact that you’ve been at it for a certain number of years doesn’t automatically mean you’re the right person for the part. Over the years, some people have become very good at being very bad. They’re stuck in a rut.

Years of experience entitles you to nothing. In fact, it can make you look like you’re old school. The quality of your experience qualifies you. Not the length.

4. ACCOLADES & OTHER ACCOMPLISHMENTS
An impressive resume tells a client what you have done for others, usually years ago. All he really wants to know is: What can you do for ME, today?

If you can’t make that clear, why should he hire you?

Experience can also backfire.

One of my friends specializes in medical narrations. In order to impress a possible new client, he quoted a fine endorsement from a pharmaceutical company he’d been working for, for years. It was his way of saying: “See… I have a proven track record. I can easily handle your project.”

The other party was not impressed. The email he got back effectively said:

“Since you’ve established yourself as the voice of brand X, it would be unwise for us to hire you. People would automatically associate your sound with our main competitor.”

5. YOUR COST OF DOING BUSINESS
Never justify your fee by bringing up how much you have invested in your dream. That’s the price you pay for being and staying in business. After all, you don’t care about your client’s business expenses either, do you?

6. YOUR HIGH-END EQUIPMENT
Clients won’t hire you because you happen to own a Steinway. They hire you because they like the way you play, or because you offer the best value for money.

You might impress your colleagues with a brand new Neumann U87 studio microphone. My last client hadn’t even heard of the brand.

7. TECHNICAL CHALLENGES
It’s lame to blame technology for your lack of preparation. In voice-overs, home studios are steadily becoming the norm. Even if you record in a stuffy bedroom closet (and call it a ‘professional studio’), you’re the head of IT, audio engineering and data transmission. If you can’t handle that, don’t expect any sympathy from the client. He’ll find someone who can.

8. PERSONAL PROBLEMS
Leave them at the door. Clients are clients; not friends or family. You’re hired to do a job, no matter how horrible you might feel about your dead cat or a recent break-up. Put your life on the back burner and focus on the project. Cry when the job is over.

9. YOUR FRAGILE EGO
You are hired to make your client look good and not to boost your ego. If you’re in need of praise, visit an evangelical church.

10. YOUR SUBLIME UNIQUENESS
Sure, nobody talks like you or walks like you. That doesn’t make you irreplaceable. Even if you’ve been working with a client for years, don’t be surprised if they ask you to re-audition.

One of the joys of being an independent contractor is that there’s no long-term contract with severance pay, should things come to a premature end.

You’re on your own.

Never take anything for granted. Complacency will be your downfall. Be ready to prove yourself, over and over and over again.

If you don’t take care of your career, nobody else will.

Business is business. And the rest is…

Paul Strikwerda ©2012
www.nethervoice.com

PS Be sweet. Please retweet!

 

Technorati Tags: building client relationships, client relationship, clients don't care, Dutch voiceover, freelancer, freelancers, Freelancing, Nethervoice, Paul Strikwerda, voice-over

You’ve probably heard the story of the priest who preached the same sermon every Sunday.

After a few weeks, some of the parishioners got tired of it and demanded an explanation.

“Do you really want to know why I’m repeating myself at every service?” asked the priest. The crowd nodded.

“I will continue to tell you the same thing over and over again, until you take it to heart and do something with it.

If you don’t change your behavior, I don’t see any reason for me to change my sermon.”

Well, I may be the son of a minister, but as a blogger, I can certainly relate to this priest. When it comes to setting rates, I sometimes feel I’m talking to a sea of people with frighteningly short memories and no backbone.

Watch me as I go to my pulpit and address the crowd:

FELLOW FREELANCERS, do you know how much you’re worth?

Do you have a good sense of how much to charge when a client asks you for a quote? Do you have an idea of how much your full-time colleagues are charging… nationally and internationally?

If you don’t, you shouldn’t even think of responding to that online job offer. Don’t you dare come up with an estimate. You have no business being in business until you’ve figured out a basic fee structure.

Imagine going to a photographer to get your headshot taken. Of course you want to know ho much it is going to cost. “Well, let me get back to you on that,” is not the answer you expect to hear from a pro, is it?

How on earth are you going to determine your basic rate?

Let me get one thing out of the way first. It’s not the responsibility of your clients to offer you a good rate. It would be the decent thing to do, but it’s your job to negotiate a fair fee.

That fee is determined by how much you need to make in order to survive and by how much you want to make in order to thrive (today and 30 years from now).

In my experience, most freelancers aren’t capable of giving a clear answer to both questions. Can you? If not, you’re running your business based on guesswork and you’re setting yourself up to be taken advantage of.

Your rate should be high enough for clients to take you seriously, and reasonable enough to still attract business in your segment of the market.

As a beginner, here’s the worst thing you could do: trying to break into the business by working for stupendously low rates. If you don’t know what I mean by a low rate, it’s time you do your homework. Don’t you know that low rates flag you as an amateur?

If you want to be a pro, grow up and act like it!

It is self-evident that as a beginner you’re not yet in a position to command top-dollar, top-euro or whatever currency you prefer. But that doesn’t mean that you should sell yourself short and become a predatory pricer.

Predatory Pricing is the practice of selling a product or service at a very low price, intending to drive competitors out of the market. It is a strategy for losers and I’ll tell you why.

• Bargain prices attract bargain shoppers. Low paying customers are usually high maintenance customers. Now, you can either believe me, or find it out the hard way. Your choice.

• Secondly, people tend to not value things that don’t cost them much, and they’re much more likely to be dissatisfied with it – regardless of the quality of the product.

• Third: you will attract clients that expect a gourmet meal at a fast food price (and at drive-through speed). As in mountain biking, it’s easier to go down than to go up. Once your price level is set, it is hard to justify a higher price.

• Fourth: predatory pricing is unfair competition. I work as a voice-over professional. A lot of people are complaining that there’s no money in voice-overs these days. I know I’m not the only game in town. Anyone with a mic and a computer can enter this business. While the cost of living is going up, rates are steadily going down.

Dumping your product or service will isolate you from your colleagues and it will negatively impact prevalent prices. Don’t blame the anonymous forces of demand and supply for a steady decline in rates. You are as much part of the problem as you are a part of the solution.

• Last but not least: show some self-respect! If you don’t value your own work, why should I? You have a unique talent. You have invested so much time and money in making it this far. Why would you want to put yourself up for sale in the bargain basement? Don’t you deserve better than that?

Now here’s a question for you:

Would you charge the same fee for the same type of work to a client in Europe and let’s say India?

If you don’t know the answer, that’s okay. Just stop reading and think about it for a moment. The internet has turned every business into a global business. Sooner or later, you’ll have to deal with this issue.

Have you ever heard of the Big Mac index, the Tall Latte index or the iPod index? Clever economists came up with these lists after a lot of hands-on research to illustrate the idea that identical goods have different prices in different markets.

Prices are based on a local standard of living, the price of raw materials, transportation, labor, taxes and frankly, on what companies feel they can get away with. That’s why pharmaceutical companies sell the same drugs at different prices in different countries.

Economically speaking, the product or service you provide is no different than a burger, a cup of coffee or an iPod, iPad or an eye-liner. That means that your client in India is likely to have a different budget than your client in Denmark.

Whether or not you want to work for that budget, is up to you.

You know what you’re worth.

If you’re okay with an Indian salary as a US-based freelancer, just tell me how you intend to make ends meet in the States. I don’t think your local gas station has started accepting rupees yet. But let’s make a deal. Once you’ve chosen to accept a low rate, stop contaminating social media with complaints that it’s so hard to earn a living.

By the way, I don’t blame a Chinese company for trying to hire talent at the lowest possible price. They’re probably working for a US-based firm that has outsourced certain activities because labor is cheap. After all, we all want our Black Friday bargains, so we’re driving that demand for cheap products and services.

I do blame North American or European clients that are trying to make us work for rates that would be only be acceptable in countries like India. I also blame online job boards that enable those clients to set these bargain basement rates. And lastly, I blame so-called colleagues who willingly devalue our business by accepting jobs at these rates.

So, how do you determine your fee in an international context?

Let’s recap. First you have to know what your bottom line is before you do anything else. In other words: how much would you minimally need to charge to turn a profit? You are running a for-profit business, aren’t you?

Once your bottom line is covered, find out how much this particular job would be worth in the country of the client. If you can live with that rate, that’s where you want your quote to be… minimally!

Don’t quote that German client 250 US dollars if the going rate in Germany is 250 Euro. Why should you leave any money on the table?

If you start working for less, don’t be surprised that this same client will post his next project for 180 Euro. After all: we teach people how to treat us, and this is how rates go down. Clients aren’t stupid.

And remember: just because a client needs you, doesn’t mean they can afford you, or that you can afford to work for them.

If you would charge $1000 for a project, and they’re willing to pay $800, it’s totally worthwhile to see if you can meet in the middle. But don’t spend any time trying to sell champagne to someone on a beer budget, no matter where they live.

These would-be customers don’t care that you’re using the latest equipment or that you recently completed a project for a prestigious brand.

They just want to know how low you’re willing to go.

Got it?

Thus endeth my sermon.

Go in peace, and may you lead a prolific and prosperous life!

(and don’t make me post the same story next week, okay?)

Paul Strikwerda ©2011
www.nethervoice.com

PS Be sweet. Please retweet.

Technorati Tags: big mac index, Double Dutch Blog, freelance rates, freelancer, Freelancing, Nethervoice, Paul Strikwerda, setting voice-over rates, voice-over, voiceover, voiceover rates

I remember exactly where I was when it happened.

On my way to Las Vegas, I popped in a Tony Robbins tape from his Personal Power series.

Tony Robbins is a hugely successful motivational speaker, trainer and writer. If you have a million dollars, he’ll give you his private number and you may call him 365 days a year for a private coaching session.

People either love him or hate him. Those who hate him are usually put off by his hyped up, in your face presentation style. Those who love him are pumped up by his towering presence and contagious enthusiasm, whether it’s on CD, during a live seminar or on TV.

Robbins built his career on the study of success. Following in the footsteps of NLP-creators Bandler and Grinder, he developed a toolbox based on what he called Neuro Associative Conditioning (NAC). It’s a mix of positive attitudes, beliefs and strategies that help people design and live the life they’ve always dreamt of.

MODELING THE MIND
At the basis of NLP and NAC is the process of modeling. I’m not talking about the catwalk in Milan, but about the study of exceptional people: business tycoons, sports icons, therapists, artists etcetera.

The idea is that these people -in order to achieve something extraordinary- have set themselves up for success. They have carefully (and often unconsciously) conditioned themselves to accomplish astonishing things. Modeling is all about uncovering and learning from what goes on behind the scenes: what instructions do these people give their brains and bodies?

Take Steve Jobs, Richard Branson or Oprah Winfrey. None of them seemed to be destined for greatness. Jobs was given up for adoption by a Syrian Muslim. Branson suffers from dyslexia and was academically challenged. Winfrey was born into poverty to a teenage single mother and raised in an inner-city neighborhood.

Look at what they have accomplished!

What is the secret to their success? Is there a recipe? Can it be broken down into bits and pieces and taught to mere mortals such as you and me? Robbins believes it can be done, and one of the key ingredients of this recipe for success can be captured in a single word:

M I N D S E T

You might not be able to choose the cards life has dealt you, but at least you control how you approach and play the game. Your mindset is the filter through which you look at reality and interpret what it means to you and which actions to take.

A mindset is not something you were born with that operates outside of your awareness. A mindset is a choice. You determine whether the glass is half empty or half full. Not your mother or father or teacher or upbringing or education or race or any set of circumstances.

What separates Winfrey, Branson and Jobs from the rest, is a foundation of empowering beliefs.

An empowering belief is the difference between looking at the world in terms of problems or in terms of opportunities.

An empowering belief is the difference between looking at obstacles as roadblocks or as stepping-stones.

An empowering belief is the difference between “I’ll never be able to do it” and “Yes I can!”

WHAT DRIVES YOU
As I was cruising through the dry Nevada desert, Robbins talked about another powerful principle he had modeled. Whether in sports, politics, business or in the entertainment industry, all leaders had this in common: they knew the difference between being interested and being committed.

The interested person is merely exploring options.
The committed person is going for it.

The interested person says: “I’d like to,” “I’m thinking of,” “It would be nice…”
The committed person says: “This is my path,” “This is my passion,” “Nothing can stop me.”

The interested person reactively responds to opportunities.
The committed person pro-actively creates opportunities.

The interested person is not invested in the outcome.
The committed person does whatever it takes to achieve the outcome.

The interested person is conditioned to “trying”.
The committed person is conditioned to “doing”.

The interested person always has reasons.
The committed person has results.

STOP WHINING
When I look at my own voiceover community, I hear a lot of whining and complaining about how hard it is to break into the business and earn a living. Reading between the lines, I notice an undeserved sense of entitlement and lack of respect for what it takes to make it. Sorry folks…

There are no silver platters, silver bullets

or golden shortcuts to the top

It comes down to this: what are YOU willing to DO to build a solid career and live a meaningful life?

Are you merely interested or are you truly committed?

Of course you’re entitled to your hopes, your dreams and aspirations. Don’t let me take them away from you. But it’s up to you to make them a reality.

It’s nice to be ‘interested’ in something and fantasize about your future. I’m all for creative visualization. But without ACTION a dream will always be a dream; something you intend to do… one day. And you know what they say about the road that’s paved with good intentions.

According to Robbins, successful role models know how to turn those intentions into a ‘magnificent obsession’. They channel their energy and focus it like a laser beam. To the rest of the world, it looks like these people are working their butts off, but to them it doesn’t even feel like work. They’re having the best time of their life!

Committed people don’t let things happen. They make things happen.

Committed people don’t complain about something. They do something about it.

Committed people don’t quit. They learn from experience and move on.

Commitment is a solemn agreement you make with yourself to do everything it takes to achieve a goal, and then some.

STARTING OVER
If you’re sick and tired of all the excuses and rationalizations, the if’s, the but’s and the maybe’s… perhaps you are ready to commit yourself and decide that your time has come.

If that’s the case, I have a question for you. Don’t answer it until you have fully considered it.

What’s the one thing you can do today, to show the world (and yourself) that you’re truly, madly and deeply committed?

Use the Power of Now and DO IT.

For losers, there’s always “tomorrow”.

This moment is yours, today.

Embrace it and hold on to it, for the rest of your life!

Paul Strikwerda ©2011
www.nethervoice.com

PS Be sweet, please retweet!

Technorati Tags: attitude adjustment, commitment, Dutch voiceover, empowering belief, freelancer, freelancers, Freelancing, John Grinder, making a commitment, Nethervoice, neuro linguistic programming, NLP, Oprah Winfrey, Paul Strikwerda, Richard Bandler, Richard Branson, Steve Jobs, the power of committment, the power of now, Tony Robbins, voice-over, voiceover blog

Warning: this post contains some strong language that may not be appropriate for sensitive souls.

* An overly demanding client has nickeled-and-dimed you down to your lowest rate and is never satisfied

* You’re angry at yourself for ever taking on this job making you work for a jerk

* You’re going out of your way to serve a customer and she treats you like a servant

* You spend hours perfecting a proposal and you never hear back from your prospect

* You’ve given a colleague free advice, and now he’s offering your service at half-price

* Colleagues and job sites are bringing your rates down and you can’t do anything about it

* You’ve just lost a dream project; you have no idea why and you feel like giving up

* Your Mom says: “I told you this would happen. Why don’t you get a real job?”

Sounds familiar? If that’s the case, how do you usually respond? Can you let it go, or are you getting sick and tired of having to depend on people who don’t seem to care? How long are you going to put up with that? Isn’t it time to draw a line in the sand and say to yourself: “I’ve had it. Enough’s enough!”

If that’s the case, why don’t you get up right now and go to the window, open it, and stick your head out and yell:

“I’m as mad as hell, and I’m not going to take this anymore!!”

Of course you’re not going to do that. That only happens in movies. You’ve been conditioned to respond in a rational way and to behave like a proper professional.

Shit happens. You just have to make sure it doesn’t hit your fans. Besides, we live in the age of positive psychology where people don’t have problems anymore. People have “challenges”. We don’t run into difficulties. We call them “learning opportunities.” We never fail. We just get a “less than desirable result.” We’ve learned to turn lemons into lemonade and above all… we never, ever argue. We have “spirited debates” instead.

Welcome to the bitter-sweet world of reframing, sugarcoating and turd-polishing! Are you feeling any better yet? Should you internalize your anger and put on your happy facebook face? After all, you don’t want the world to know you’re having a hard day, do you? Everything is always A-ok and the show must go on, right? So, get a grip and pull yourself together!

If only it were that easy.

How healthy can it be, to keep it all inside and pretend everything’s alright all the time? You’re not a saint. Sometimes, you’re a volcano waiting to erupt and you’re ready to slap those people telling you that “everything happens for a reason.” Is that supposed to help? Give me a break!

So, what do you do when your frustration reaches a boiling point and you’ve absolutely had it? Hit the bottle? Hit the wall? Use your partner as a punching bag? That’ll make it all go away, won’t it?

COMMUNICATION STYLES
Even if you’re not a disciple of Sigmund Freud or a follower of Carl Jung, it’s easy to recognize four classic ways of dealing with rage, disappointment and despair. I’ve broken them down into different personalities and I’d like you to meet them.

1. THE PESSIMISTIC DOORMAT: the passive response
- Easily overwhelmed, defeated and depressed
- Blames him or herself
- Excuses the behavior of others
- Avoids confrontation at all cost
- A people pleaser, always ready to take on the victim role
- Gives in; gives up and disengages
- Acts out of fear and fatalism
- Tells you: “I feel like shit.”

2. THE BULLY: the aggressive response
- Acts impulsively
- Takes everything personally
- Goes on the attack and thrives on confrontation
- Blames and criticizes others
- Feels superior because others are always wrong
- Overbearing and controlling: it’s my way or the highway
- Acts out of anger
- Tells the world: “These guys are shit.”

3. THE INDIRECT ADVERSARY: the passive aggressive response
- Acts in a disingenuous way
- Responds with sarcasm and cynicism
- Refuses to openly acknowledge that there’s a problem
- Feels misunderstood and underappreciated,
- Hides true feelings: smiles when angry
- Cooperates but does so begrudgingly, even sabotaging the effort
- Acts out of denial, resentment and evasion
- Won’t tell you: “I pretend I don’t give a shit but I really do.”

GENERALIZATIONS
I’ll be the first one  to admit that these profiles are based on broad generalizations. Secondly, I am only describing a type of behavior. Behavior always takes place on a continuum and not every individual will display all characteristics at once. But sometimes it’s easier to make a point by highlighting the extremes.

Third, although some of us have become better at one communication style, we might show tendencies of another style, depending on the situation. In many cases, we have learned these adaptive responses at an early age, often from a role model such as a parent.

Fourth: because people are so accustomed to their own behavior, they are often unaware of their communication style and it kicks in automatically.

If you’re a blogger or a regular participant in discussions on various social networks, you’ve probably dealt with a few of these individuals. The nature and tone of some of the comments people throw at you, can give you an insight into who’s leaving them.

A few examples…

The pessimistic doormat will say things like: “I should have known better. It’s all my fault. There’s nothing we can do about it. It is what it is. Who are we to think that we can change things? It’s been like this for years and it’s no use going against the grain. We’re just a small piece in a big puzzle. Stop wasting your time. I’m sorry but that’s just how I feel.”

The bully will tell you: “You’re dead wrong. I can’t believe you just said that. It makes no sense. When’s the last time you had your brain checked? Stop being so ridiculous. Who do you think you are? Did you even read what you just wrote? These guys owe me big time. I did nothing wrong. They’re the ones that screwed things up. I’ll make them pay!”

The indirect adversary’s favorite phrase is “Whatever,” while moaning and muttering to himself. You should hear the sarcasm when she says: “Sure, we’ll do whatever you want. Let’s see how well that works out.” He’ll tell you: “I’m not upset at all. You seem to be the only one having a problem here. Everything’s fine on my end,” even though things are not at all fine on his end.

But enough about other people. Let’s talk about you for a change. How do you respond when someone’s made you mad as hell and you’re not going to take it anymore? Will you let them have it because they deserve it? What is your weapon of choice: public humiliation, strong language, ridicule? Or will you withdraw from the world and curl up in a ball crying “poor me, this is so unfair!”?

UNDER THE CARPET
I’m not a big fan of sticking strong emotions in a jar and putting a lid on it. That jar is called your body. It’s the house you live in and if you start piling up junk, it will start to rot, stinking up the entire place. Sooner or later, you’ll be poisoning the whole neighborhood. Here’s the thing: all that garbage has to come out at some point, or else the house will burst at the seams. You might as well let it out now.

It’s okay to be mad. It’s unhealthy to stay stuck in it, even if anger motivates you.

Begin by realizing that you’re feeling all these strong emotions because someone or something crossed the line between what’s acceptable and unacceptable to you.

Before you ask yourself what that might be, you have to let off some steam, preferably in a way that does not hurt you or any (significant) others.

The worst thing you could do right now, is to write an angry response or to let whoever has hurt you “have it,” even though it might be totally justified. Any negative knee-jerk response will almost certainly backfire. On the internet -as in real life- you can’t ever take something back.

What you need to do first, is to get rid of that explosive energy. Break a couple of plates if you must; play some hard rock on Guitar Hero; beat the crap out of your drum kit, leave your house and run a couple of miles… as long as you get out of that mad mood of yours. Here’s a hint: it helps to get physical!

Once you’re out of that angry state, you might realize that you were not really responding to what happened, but to something much deeper that was ignited by the event. When we finally give ourselves permission to take the lid off that jar, it’s quite common that a lot of that piled up garbage comes out, that has absolutely nothing to do with the trigger. As a result we overreact.

RESOURCEFUL RESPONSE
Now, as soon as you are in a more resourceful mood, it’s much easier to dissociate from that spark that caused the flame, and figure out how to respond in a more calm and collected way. You might find it helpful to ask yourself a couple of questions. However, steer away from disempowering questions like:

- How could he/she do this to me?
- Why does this always happen to me?
- What’s wrong with me?

Believe me, your brain will always come up with an answer, and you’re not going to like it. Ask these types of questions instead:

• How can I resolve this situation in a good way?
• What’s the first thing I can do to turn this around?
• What help do I need and who can best help me?
• What have I learned from this that is positive and useful?
• What changes can I make to prevent this from happening again?

Sometimes the answers will come easily. Sometimes they won’t. If you feel that it’s not so hard to get back into that old, negative mood, you’re not going to get very far. It’s better to take some time and change your state of mind before doing something you will later regret. The heat of the moment often magnifies things that -when you look back at them- are no big deal. And if they are, the more reason to respond with care and consideration.

Remember: you own the house you live in. It’s your choice to open your house up to things that don’t support you and to folks that respect neither you nor your property. If they show up at your doorstep with a “present” you don’t want, do not accept it.

By this time, you’re hopefully in a more resourceful mode. The mode of what I like to call:

4. THE RESPECTFUL ADVOCATE: the assertive response
- Being collected and connected
- Owning one’s feelings
- Opening a dialogue: seeking resolution
- Looking at the issue from different sides
- Competently standing up for oneself
- Acting out of confidence and optimism
- Tells you: “I’ll turn this shit into manure.”

You’ll know that you’re in this mindset because you’ll feel much more relaxed and in charge of the situation. You’re doing your best to understand where the other person is coming from, and you realize that -just because people do stupid things sometimes- it doesn’t mean that they are stupid.

In this frame of mind, you respond to the present and not to the past. You deal with the event and leave it at that.

You stand up for yourself from a place of confidence, not arrogance or anger. You make your point knowing that not everyone will or has to agree with you.

You are aware that you can’t control others. You can only control yourself. People can only push your buttons if you let them. You choose your battles and you walk away when people disrespect you. You choose to surround yourself with friends that support and respect you. You deserve no less.

This is your house. This is your garden.

You sow the seeds and weed the weeds.

May it bloom as you blossom,

and may your home be filled with

laughter, peace and prosperity!

Paul Strikwerda © 2010
www.nethervoice.com

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“Do not anticipate trouble, or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight.” – Benjamin Franklin

WARNING: do not read the following sentence.

Yes, this one!

Why did you read it when I asked you not to?

Don’t even think of reading the next line either.

Are you blind? You just did it again. What’s up with you?

Why is it so hard to follow simple instructions?

You’re a grown-up, aren’t you?

Kids are different. You go to the store and make them swear upon their teddy bear’s life not to touch anything. And what do they do? As soon as they get a chance, they start picking up stuff left and right. You tell them not to cross the road and before you know it, they run to the other side of the street. But that’s youthful spontaneity, isn’t it?

What about you? When you tell yourself not to do something, do you do it? Or rather: not do it?

Then why is it so hard not to hear that stupid tune that has totally taken over your brain? By the way: this is not a test. There’s no need to remember the last time a silly melody got stuck in your head. It wasn’t one of those cheesy, catchy Christmas songs that kept following you around from store to store, was it?

We’ve all experienced that the more we don’t want to think about something, the harder it is not to think about it. Why is that?

It turns out that our brains have a tough time processing negatives, as demonstrated by the famous blue elephant experiment. You’ll play along, won’t you?

Just for a moment, don’t think of a blue elephant.

Really, whatever you do, try not to think of a blue elephant…

… with big blue ears, blue eyes and deep blue tusks.

Thanks for being a good sport. We’ll get back to the elephant later. If anything, this little thought experiment demonstrates that

We can’t think about what we don’t want to think about without thinking about it first.

Think about that for a moment! Why would this be extremely relevant to you personally and professionally?

LIGHT BULB OR LASER BEAM
It has to do with the power of focus. Focus can be defined as the concentration of attention or energy on something.

Are you having a hard time staying focused? Are you easily distracted? Is your freelance business all over the place? Well, you’re not alone.

We live in an age of information overload and a culture that has embraced distraction. People prefer being entertained to being educated. Never has there been a generation that is so bombarded with a constant stream of nonsensical stimuli. Doesn’t your head feel like Times Square times ten, sometimes?

With so much going on all the time, can we even shut it off and attempt to separate what’s truly important from the trivial -especially, when the trivial is seducing us with the brightest colors and the loudest sounds?

The trivial is all about the immediate. The latest is automatically the greatest. It doesn’t matter whether it is relevant or even important. Who cares about yesterday’s paper or this morning’s tweet? That’s old news.

The trivial also tends to tap into to very basic emotions of pain and pleasure, hoping to elicit a gut response by emphasizing the simplistic, the outrageous and the grotesque. A few examples:

• Newspaper editors will tell you: If it doesn’t bleed, it doesn’t lead.

• Madison Avenue knows that boobs and babies boost business.

• Certain politicians get more media coverage by talking about Grizzly bears instead of addressing intricate issues in an intelligent way. Three cheers for democracy!

• The masses prefer twitter chatter to in-depth intellectual arguments.

We don’t read anymore. We scan texts. And if the author doesn’t get to the point in the next paragraph, we move on. By now I’ve probably lost 90% of my readership. Thanks for being exceptional!

Meanwhile, shouldn’t you check your email? I think someone wants to chat with you on facebook. It’s rude not to respond. Did you just receive a new text message? I wonder what it says. You better look at it now. It might be important!

Distractions, distractions, distractions.

ENOUGH ALREADY!
The French philosopher Blaise Pascal hit the nail on the head when he said:

“All men’s miseries derive from not being able to sit in a quiet room alone.”

I would add to that: “…. sit in a quiet room alone, and do absolutely nothing.”

Life’s like a glass of water. Someone or something comes along and drops some dirt in it. Then someone else comes along and does the same thing… and they start stirring and stirring until the water’s all murky and muddy. When that happens, it’s impossible to see clearly and think clearly.

Only when you let it rest and allow the dirt to sink to the bottom, things start to become transparent again. And when they do, what do you choose to focus on? On the fact that your glass is half full or half empty?

I happen to believe that what we focus on consistently is more likely to materialize (emphasis on “more likely”). That’s not something I came up with. Just think of a few people that “have made it”. Do they seem distracted or dedicated? Are they bad planners or well-organized? Do they focus on futilities or do they lead their lives “on purpose”?

More importantly: do they zoom in on what they want or on what they don’t want?

Beginning today, start listening carefully to the language people use when they describe what drives them; what they pay attention to and why. Then look at their results and discover how the words we choose to use are translated into the outcomes we achieve.

Don’t take my word for it because I can’t convince you of anything. Just open your eyes and ears and dissociate yourself from what is being said. Content is irrelevant. Concentrate on how things are said.

FEELING BLUE
I ran into one of my freelance friends the other day. He looked absolutely miserable. Christmas is coming up and he was trying to figure out how to pay the most basic bills. In desperation, he had taken on a couple of low-paying jobs and now he was dealing with overly demanding clients (I had warned him). A few things he said stood out for me:

• I don’t want to go broke
• I don’t want to go back to my old job
• I don’t want to miss that deadline
• I don’t want to lose another client
• I don’t want to mess up again

No wonder he was down in the dumps. He was clearly thinking of blue elephants. Focusing on what you don’t want is a tried recipe for self-sabotage. People, who habitually focus on what they don’t want, usually do that out of fear. They’re willing to do more to avoid something than to accomplish something. Ironically, they may end up with more of what they don’t want.

Fear is paralyzing. Fear smothers all creativity. Fear is reactive, not proactive. Fear activates our fight-or-flight response, purposely limiting our behavior to a few options.

Fear makes us run away, instead of going for it.

Don’t get me wrong. Sometimes, fear can be a good thing. It’s perfectly normal to stay away from burning flames or roaring lions. But often, fear is nothing but an irrational, conditioned response, linked to our interpretation of something that we believe happened to us long, long ago.

STUCK TO THE PAST
In places like Thailand and India, people still use working elephants. What always amazes me is that these mighty, intelligent animals don’t run away into the jungle. Instead, they stay where they are and help their masters with logging and other heavy lifting. They seem to know their place. Why is that?

Someone once told me that at a very young age, these elephants are tied to a strong tree. Whenever they try to get away, the chain will pull them back. Once they’re a little older, the tree is replaced by a heavy ball, restricting their range of movement. These elephants are trained to stay put.

Later in life, there’s no need to restrain them anymore. They have learned their lesson and have become conditioned to stay within a limited space, even though they’re technically free to go and explore the world.

That’s what fear will do to you.

Fear makes you play things safe. Instead of focusing on the future, it ties you to the past -even though those ties are long gone.

Are you still mad at your Dad or afraid of your Mom, even though they have passed?

I’m not telling you we shouldn’t pay attention to the past. Our roots are part of who we are. But we should learn from it and move on. It is time to grow some wings and leave the nest!

STRESSING OUT
There’s another reason why it’s counterproductive to focus on our fears. It causes stress. Stress is not just a state of mind. Physical, emotional or psychological strain is harmful. Stress negatively affects immune responses, and it also affects how well the body heals itself. (source)

But here’s the thing: we can’t get rid of it by focusing on what we don’t want. That’s why I have to laugh when I see an ad for the “Less Stress Center” or the “Pain Clinic”. Don’t think of a blue elephant, folks!

It’s just as bad as that disturbingly distracting billboard, urging us not to become a distracted driver. But it goes even deeper and it becomes more personal.

At times, it seems we just love to identify ourselves by what we don’t want, or by what we no longer are:

- I’m a scientist against global warming
- I’m an anti-war activist
- I’m a non-smoker
- I’m a cancer survivor
- I have been sober for 15 years. I am an alcoholic.

Comedian Tina Fey recently joked: “They address her as Gov. Palin, which is like calling me ‘Dairy Queen employee. I was once, but I quit.”

In order to move forward, you have to think of who you are NOW and imagine what you can be, instead of focusing on what used to be or on what you don’t want to happen. You are not an elephant! You are free. You are a freelancer!

HOLDING UP THE MIRROR
Let’s wrap this up by talking about YOU for a change. I’ve asked you to listen to other people talk, and find out what drives them. Now it’s time for you to start analyzing your internal dialogue.

Are you a closet masochist and do you beat yourself up on a regular basis, mistaking it for motivation? Do you prefer the stick to the carrot? In that case, stick to the carrot. Are you moving away from what you don’t want? Do you even know what you really want?

Now listen to yourself, talking to others. If you intend to calm a friend down, do you tell her not to worry? If your partner panics before a presentation, do you tell him not to be nervous? Do you tell your daughter not to get sick when she sneezes? Do you ask your husband not to forget the keys? Do you tell your team that failure is not an option? Do you tell your client: “No problem!”

If that’s the case, you have some work to do.

The Indian sage Patanjali is known for a collection of aphorisms on Yoga practice, the Yoga Sutras. Thousands of years ago, Patanjali suggested:

“Repel disturbing thoughts by pondering the opposite.”

Back in 1902, James Allen, author of “As a Man Thinketh,” put it this way:

“Mind is the Master power that moulds and makes,
And Man is Mind, and evermore he takes
The tool of Thought, and, shaping what he wills,
Brings forth a thousand joys, a thousand ills: —
He thinks in secret, and it comes to pass:
Environment is but his looking-glass.”

Paul Strikwerda © 2010
www.nethervoice.com

PS Be sweet. Please retweet!

PS Do you believe that doing voice-overs is easy money? Find out the Troublesome Truth!

Technorati Tags: As a Man Thinketh, Blaise Pascal, conditioning, Dutch voice over, fear, freelance success, freelancer, Freelancing, James Allen, negative thinking, Nethervoice, overcoming fear, Patanjali, Paul Strikwerda, positive thinking, staying focused, stress

If we blame the economy for all of our freelance failures, perhaps it’s only fair that we should credit the economy for all of our successes. After all: we’re hopelessly helpless. It’s the economy, stupid!

In 2000, Cleanthi Peters sued Universal Studios for $15,000. Cleanthi claimed to have suffered “extreme fear, mental anguish, and emotional distress” after visiting Universal Studios’ Halloween Horror Nights haunted house. She said it was too scary.

My European friend Philippe is eager to bring these type of examples up whenever he tells me that Americans live in a country of finger-pointers. I agree.

If we get lung cancer from smoking, we blame the tobacco industry. If we slip on a wet surface, it is the cleaning lady’s fault. If we burn our lips on a cup of fresh WaWa-Java, we sue the company that forgot to print a warning. Heaven forbid we should take some credit for our own actions. Why should we? Blaming someone else could bring in big bucks!

So, what’s next? Are we going to take Smith & Wesson to court for purposefully producing products perfectly designed to end the lives of our loved ones? If my lawyer would fall for that, I would fire that son of a gun on the spot!

A WORLD OF WHINERS
Complaining is convenient. Rants on Talk Radio draw millions of listeners. Campaigning politicians pack stump speeches with it. In the corporate, 9 to 5 hierarchical world of cubicles, board rooms and business lunches, it’s easy to find something or someone to blame when things go wrong. It’s the management, it’s the sales department, it’s the CEO…

But those of you, who are -voluntary or involuntary- making the switch to becoming a freelancer, are in for the shock of a lifetime: all of a sudden, YOU are in charge! You are the management, the sales department, the CEO, the customer helpline and all that jazz. Oops… There’s no one to blame anymore! Whose fault might that be?

No one’s going to make sure you get out of bed on time. There’s no punch clock keeping track of your hours. If you want to play on facebook all day long, be my guest. Tweet to the world what you had for breakfast, if you must. I’m not your boss. You are!

Being self-employed can be a blessing and a curse. You have no water cooler conversations anymore. No paid holidays or health insurance or end of the year bonuses. Freelance freedom comes at a hefty price and you can’t put it on a company credit card.

DAYDREAMS AND NIGHTMARES
In a past life, I used to teach people how to successfully set goals. Most of my students had set goals before and had failed miserably. Take weight loss. Some people professed to be 100% committed to losing those extra pounds, but when it came to impulse control, they had a hard time resisting the terrible temptations of the devious fast food industry.

It was interesting to see people unveil their mental make-up by looking at the way they tried to rationalize and justify their lack of a backbone. It would only take me a few seconds to figure out whether they were taking responsibility, or they were playing the lame blame game. I saw too many people chicken out, and point their greasy fingers at KFC. Apparently, the bucket stops there and we’re all under orders from Colonel Saunders to take his wings and fly.

Taking responsibility for the direction of our own life is not as easy as it sounds. Some folks are better off in the army, taking orders from above. Others depend on the church to tell them what to do (again, taking orders from above). Any Thanksgiving Turkey can tell you that sticking your neck out is risky business. Who knows whether or not you’re making the right choices?

That’s why in the land of the free, many choose to hide behind the mainstream, and go with the flow of the silent, mediocre and often immoral majority… and moan and groan about the terrible deck of cards life has dealt them.

Are you still following me?

HEARING VOICES
In my own line of work it’s no different. I’m a freelance voice-over professional, and colleagues are complaining left and right about the lack of work and low rates. Talk has become cheaper, and some say this is because more and more people think they can make a fortune by blabbering into cheap Chinese microphones. As a result, we’re dealing with an oversaturated buyer’s market.

What people are really saying is this: if we can’t blame our superiors anymore, and we’re not willing to look at our own role, let’s blame the anonymous forces of supply and demand. It’s the stupid economy that’s bringing us down! It’s the invisible hand of market forces, leading to the survival of the cheapest, and there’s nothing we can do about it.

I call this mindset “leaf in the wind-thinking”. Psychologists would probably call it a victim mentality. It’s the most disempowering attitude on the planet. Why would we attempt to change something that we perceive to be beyond our control? It is what it is, isn’t it? Don’t fight it. Accept it. Well, if that were true, American women would still have no right to vote and the descendants of Rosa Parks would still be giving up their seats on the bus.

INTERDEPENDENT
I happen to believe that “the market” is not some anonymous force that operates outside of our sphere of influence. In one way or another, all of us are part of the intricate interplay between supply and demand. As such, WE are the market, and we’re as much part of the problem as we are part of the solution. We either let things happen, or make them happen. Unfortunately, we sometimes make things happen that are not exactly positive.

If you’ve been reading this blog for a while, you know that I have an issue with colleagues who practice blind bidding and predatory pricing. Attempting to crush the competition by underbidding is a losing strategy used by cheap and now bankrupt airlines. Plugging in a number when bidding on an online job without asking any questions, is as dumb as it is destructive.

Some colleagues have urged me to stop advocating for reasonable rates. Their argument goes as follows: it’s a free market and if people wish to sell themselves short, that’s their prerogative. We’re all independent contractors, meaning: every man and woman for him- or herself! The low end of the market does not influence the high end.

Pardon my French, but that’s just a load of smelly stuff. No one lives on an island. We are not independent contractors. We are interdependent contractors.

FOOD ON THE TABLE
“But,” said one of my voice-over buddies, “I just want to put food on the table. I would rather be a cheaper priced working voice-over than an out of work greedy VO!”

This is what I wrote to him:

All of us deserve to make a decent living that allows us to pay our bills, stay in our home, feed our family, take care of their health and education, invest in our business and give back to our community. I assume that most freelancers are running a for-profit business. That doesn’t make us Ebenezer Scrooge.

While negotiating a fee I always like to think in terms of added value instead of the cost of my services. Each and every day, we -the voice over professionals- help sell millions of dollars worth of product and we educate and entertain millions of people. We voice online learning modules; we read to people during long road rips; we greet them as they dial a phone number and we narrate their favorite shows on television.

Big corporations recognize the power of a persuasive voice and that’s why they hire celebrities to be the spokesperson for their brand. As far as I know, very few people have stood up and complained about the paychecks these actors are getting, on top of their movie star salary. I’m sure they’re worth every penny.

But even if we’re not a Jeff Bridges or a Robert Downey Jr., I think we deserve some credit… in the bank and otherwise.

In this time of economic crisis, experts keep on telling us that people need to start spending again, in order to drag this economy out of a slump. If we wish to do our part as loyal, contributing citizens, we should start making more money, so we can pump that cash back into our neighborhoods, our businesses and into our nation.

We should stop using the economic situation as an excuse to underprice our profession and undercut our colleagues. Let’s work together to raise professional standards and raise rates… and help rebuild a sustainable economy in which all of us can thrive.

HALLOWEEN HORROR
Cleanthi Peters never got anywhere with her Haunted House lawsuit. It was driven by fear and you know what they say about that. It’s nothing but False Evidence Appearing Real.

So… do you still feel like a leaf in the wind, or will you use the winds like the captain of a catamaran? I’m not claiming that we can always control the conditions at sea. Things might get pretty rough. But cyclists know that adverse winds create strong muscles.

And one last thought:

The most difficult tests are usually reserved for the best students!

Paul Strikwerda © 2010

PS Be sweet: Trick or re-Tweet!

PPS More thoughts on the economy? Read how I beat the recession.

Technorati Tags: blame game, blind bidding, colonel saunders, Dutch voice over, freelance rates, freelancer, Freelancing, frivolous lawsuits, halloween horror, how to increase freelance rates, it's the economy, Jeff Bridges, KFC, Nethervoice, Paul Strikwerda, predatory pricing, Robert Downey Jr., setting goals, stupid, the buck stops here, Universal Studios, victim mentality, voce-over pricing, voiceover rates, voiceover success

Is there a cure for the common cold call, or should we just let it rest in peace?

Before you start reading, let’s do a quick experiment. In a moment I am going to list four things.

As soon as you see number one, simply label your very first response as either positive or negative and move on to the next word.

Are you ready? Here we go:

- Telemarketing

- Cold calling

- Do-Not-Call Registry

- Networking

So, what’s your score?

Do you think your reaction is unique or universal?

I’ve just subjected a few of my friends to this unscientific test and -surprise, surprise- the numbers 1 and 2 elicited a strong negative response.

Telemarketers are among the most hated professionals on the planet. Most people would rather have their wisdom teeth extracted without sedation, than make a couple of cold calls.

In essence, cold calling revolves around fear and loathing!

Some commentators call cold calling ‘an abusive and masochistic process that damages your brand as well as your personal reputation‘. Others still believe that playing the numbers game (100 calls leading to 10 appointments resulting in 3 sales) is a foolproof system for the thick-skinned. They claim that cold callers who piss people off, just aren’t very good at their job. What do the experts think?

NAMES, NOT NUMBERS
Mahan Khalsa founded the Sales Performance Group of FranklinCovey. He’s the co-author of “Let’s Get Real or Let’s Not Play: Transforming the Buyer/Seller Relationship.”

He writes:

“When sales is a numbers game, people are numbers and each one of the numbers tends to get treated equally. After all, we don’t know which one out of ten will even want to meet with us, so we can’t afford to do the research and preparation necessary to customize the call to their company and to them as a person. And that’s exactly what it feels like on the other end. You don’t really know me, don’t know my company, don’t know what is important to us—and yet you feel you have something we want.” (click here for more from Khalsa)

John Jantsch is a leading small business expert and author of “Duct Tape Marketing” and “The Referral Engine”. He heard Khalsa speak at a conference and recently shared the following statistic in his blog:

“Cold calling results in about a 1-3% success rate for getting an initial appointment and it’s generally abusive to both parties. When that same call is made with a referral, the rate jumps up to 40% and even much higher when that referral comes from within the company.”

There you have it. As far as I’m concerned, Jantsch and Khalsa just killed Cold Calling. I don’t think we’ll have too many mourners at the funeral, do you?

DRUMMING UP BUSINESS
As Jantsch points out, there are much more effective ways to find new customers. I must warn you, though: the strategies I am about to share with you are neither for the passive nor for the aggressive. They are not for the introvert, the modest, the lazy and the ‘what’s in it for me’ and ‘wait and see’ types.

If you want to dig up potential clients, you have to become a miner. You most certainly will have to get your hands dirty and take the time to delve deeper. Here are a few gold mines that are surprisingly close to home:

1. CURRENT CLIENTS are a phenomenal resource. So: mine your own business! Satisfied customers are your best credentials and walking billboards. Please promise me to never conclude business without asking for:

a. A testimonial
b. Referrals

Tell your client:

“I really enjoyed working on this project with you. You must know a lot of people in the business. Who else do you think could benefit from my services?”

Always ask:

“Can I let Mr. so-and-so know that you referred me?”

Most of us enjoy buying stuff, but we deeply distrust salespeople. We will, however, trust colleagues and friends. That’s one of the reasons why under the radar Facebook marketing is so effective.

2. NETWORKING works, as long as you get off your butt. Don’t expect people to come to you. Anywhere and everywhere that you can meet other businesspeople face to face is better than cold calling.

Local networking groups like your Chamber of Commerce offer opportunities to meet and mingle. Here’s how to make the most of these type of meetings:

• Be unconventional! Seek out events where you might be the only expert in your field. Don’t waste your time and money talking to sad colleagues sharing horror stories at so-called conventions. Be a winner, not a whiner.

• Spend 80% of your time asking questions and listening to the answer. It’s priceless market research!

• Be sincere. Be positive. Pay people compliments. I know you’re good at that sort of thing. They will remember you.

• Realize that this is about building relationships and not about selling.

• When you receive a business card, write a few key words on the back that will jog your memory. After the event, enter the info into your database and add your personal impressions.

• Select a few people that could benefit from what you have to offer and with whom you seem to have good rapport. Then take the next step…

3. SOCIAL MEDIA offer a great way to follow up with your new contacts. Connect on LinkedIn:

“Steve, it was nice meeting you the other night. Good luck with that new project. When I drove back I had to think of that charity you’re involved in. If you like, I can help you with a logo. I’d love to contribute.”

Don’t just send someone the “I’d like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn” message. What am I to make of such a lazy, robotic approach? Are you really interested in me, or do you just want to milk my network?

A network is often the result of years of careful relationship building. Do you think you can just tap into that treasure by sending me an automated message? You can do better than that! Why don’t you buy yourself a mailing list for Christmas instead? That will teach you the value of business leads!

Please personalize. Give me a reason to connect. Have the decency to respond to someone who was kind enough to open up his/her network to you. If you can’t take a minute or two to say “thank you,” what does that tell me about the way you usually do business?

OLD VERSUS NEW

• In the old sales model, the focus was on closing a deal ASAP. The new paradigm is: “How can I help you?” It’s not about getting. It is about giving. Don’t expect to get any referrals if you’re not prepared to give any referrals.

• The old model was built on dialing rate and breaking through respondent resistance. In the new world you would never force a relationship. Be patient. You can’t expect to reap the rewards if you’re not willing to sow the seeds and tend to your crop. Yet, too much fertilizer is overkill.

• Use social media to get to know your contact as a person, not as a prospect. Once you’re connected, they’ll get to know you too.

4. FREE PUBLICITY is a perfect way to introduce yourself to the community. Your neighborhood paper is starving for copy. How often have you seen the headline:

Local author signs new novel at Barnes & Noble

How about: “Local voice talent lands gig on national TV”? These stories don’t come out of a hat. You have to create that BUZZ. How do you do that?

• Write a press release about your latest accomplishment. Make sure it’s written in the third person. Otherwise it comes across as rather self-gratifying.

• Fax your statement. Unlike emails, a fax can’t be deleted or filtered out. Snail mail doesn’t have to be opened immediately. A fax shows urgency.

• Get in touch with the host of a radio show highlighting businesses in your area. You could be her next guest.

• Hold or sponsor a contest and make your service the prize.

• Prominently participate in your community by donating time and expertise. Don’t settle for a behind the scenes job. Be the spokesperson!

• Always follow up with a call.

5. BECOME A KNOWN EXPERT by offering free talks or by writing a blog or a column in your paper. Get your name out. If people don’t know that you exist, they will never hire you. A few pointers:

• Make sure that what you have to say is relevant to your audience. Come up with a catchy title for your talk. Instead of “Creative writing 101” try “How to sell your first short story.”

• Speak no longer than 20 minutes and stay away from Power Point; then take questions. Engage your audience. Don’t bore them with a sleepy slide show!

• Give everyone a freebie at the end with your contact information; put out a mailing list and follow up.

6. PEOPLE YOU DO BUSINESS WITH don’t need to warm up to you. Your car dealership, your accountant, your lawyer, that studio you work with, even your hairdresser, caterer and photographer are all part of huge networks. Why bother grooming a business in Baltimore when you have these resources in your back yard? Unless -of course- you live in Charm City.

Here’s the key: start sending these people some business today, but don’t do it because you expect something in return. Do it because they deserve it. And remember: make sure the friends and colleagues you refer drop your name.

What if -at first- nothing happens? I’d say this to you: Delays are not denials. This is not instant oatmeal. Besides, the old-fashioned type tastes better and it will give you more sustenance.

You can’t manipulate people and turn them into your puppets. What you can do is model certain behavior, hoping it will rub off. If you’re a parent or a teacher, you already know that this works. And if nothing happens, nothing’s lost. You have gained valuable feedback that allows you to fine-tune your approach. Focus on finding businesses that share your philosophy.

THE PROOF AND THE PUDDING
Old paradigms are like dragons: they are hard to kill. Once you cut off its head, a new one appears. People who have bought into the presumed strength of one sales system, aren’t easily sold on something they aren’t even willing to try.

I know for a fact that I can’t convince you of anything. I don’t even want to. Make up your own mind, but do me one favor: don’t diss these strategies out of hand. Try them out. Experiment, knowing that no system in the world works one hundred percent, all the time. Don’t even treat it as a system. Before you know it, a system becomes a formula, a procedure and a routine, taking us right back to square one.

Feel free to disagree. Contribute to the comment section below. Nothing attracts blog readers like a bit of controversy. Share what has worked for you and why. The only knowledge that’s worth something, is knowledge that is shared and put into practice.

In that spirit, allow me to share one last story with you. This time, it’s personal.

LOVE AT FIRST SITE
This is my wife and I love her dearly. Not only is she beautiful, wise, warm, intelligent, witty, strong, creative, a fabulous musician and teacher… she also puts up with all of my quirks. People always ask me: “You are so lucky! How did you meet her?” The honest answer is: online!

Looking for love online is no easy thing. Right now, there are millions of lonely hopefuls longing for some eHarmony or the perfect Match. And all of them will tell you they like long strolls on the beach; someone with a sense of humor who loves kids and has a steady job.

What would you do to find Mr. or Mrs. Wonderful among millions of internet singles?

Would you type a zip code into a matchmaking search engine; pick a 100 mile radius and start calling every single prospect within that area? You’d probably face verbal abuse, accusations of harassment and maybe you’ll go on a couple of first dates. Still, how would you know these people are a good fit for you? Yet, this is the old cold callers way of (mis)conducting business.

Instead, why don’t you begin by asking yourself these questions:

- Who am I?
- What’s important to me in a relationship and why?
- What do I have to offer?
- What kind of person would be a good match for me and why?

Based on these answers, it will be much easier to come up with a unique profile and zoom in on people with potential.

At the end of the day, it all boils down to this precious platitude:

It’s not about finding the right partner.

It is about being the right partner.

One last thing.

Before I put my online profile up, I did some serious soul searching and I answered the questions above to the best of my ability.

The end result?

I did not find my wife…

She found me!

Paul Strikwerda © 2010
www.nethervoice.com

PS Be sweet. Please retweet. Thanks!

PPS In my next blog: a revelation about my double life…

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IMPOSSIBLE CLIENTS. We know who you are! You’re searching for a specialist who can handle almost anything. Isn’t that a contradiction in terms? Does your family doctor make a great brain surgeon? Can a novelist write irresistible advertising copy?

Yet, some clients are looking for a be-all, do-it-all freelancer with young, fresh ideas and years of experience. Is that too much to ask?

Some psychologists say that the fact that we humans are able to hold two diametrically opposed ideas in our mind at the same time, is a true sign of intelligence. Part of me wants to believe that this is indeed correct. The other part thinks it’s utter hogwash.

Does this theory imply that we have to develop a split personality in order to be perspicacious? Well, I’m more than torn about that too.

On one hand it seems kind of dim to define intelligence in such a limited way. On the other hand, aren’t most eternal truths simple and succinct in nature?

THREE CHEERS
Today I am celebrating the official launch of my company Nethervoice, exactly one year ago. To mark the moment, I started to reflect on the dichotomies of freelance life.

If you’ve just discovered this blog, you should know that I make a living as a full-time voice-over professional. Yes, I am the disembodied voice reading an audio book to you during long car rides. I tell you when to click the “next-button” as you’re e-learning on-line. I have sold cars in South-Africa, hotels in Spain, ski slopes in Austria and stoves in Finland. And that’s just the boring stuff…

But whether you’re making your money as a faceless voice, as a copywriter, a graphic designer or you’re in any other way self-employed, you and I have lots in common. Day in day out, we’re dealing with seemingly contrary forces that are interconnected and interdependent, that -somehow- give rise to each other.

Taoists already know what I’m talking about: the ancient concept of Yin and Yang.

Here’s an example of two concepts that seem mutually exclusive or at least contradictory:

1. SPECIALIZE or GENERALIZE?
Marketing gurus tell us: you can’t be a Jack of all trades. Don’t do what everybody else does. Find your niche. Create, don’t imitate. Lead, don’t follow. Distinguish yourself.

Here’s the problem: by narrowing your niche, you could be narrowing your market and you run the risk of becoming a one-dimensional, one-trick pony.

However, if you don’t differentiate yourself from the rest of the pack, you could become a dime a dozen. Why should a client hire Mr. or Mrs. More of the Same?

This is your challenge: you have to find your own voice and be flexible. Great inventors come up with a product that:

- solves a common problem

- is totally unique and

- appeals to a wide audience

2. FAMILIAR or FOREIGN?
Most people embrace the familiar and fear the unknown. But if you wish to grow on a personal and professional level, you must step into uncharted territory and invite the unpredictable.

During one of my voice-over coaching sessions, I asked a rather stuck-up student to read part of the Declaration of Independence… in a pirate voice. I ran into resistance from the get-go.

“I can’t do a pirate voice,” he said emphatically.

“Why not?” I asked.

“First off, it’s disrespectful. Secondly, I’m not going to make a fool of myself,” he replied.

I said: “You want to be a voice-over actor, don’t you?” “Actors have the ultimate excuse to be ridiculous. How are you ever going to expand your range, if you’re not willing to try something new? Were you one of those kids that only ate Mac & Cheese?”

Well, I didn’t really say that last thing, but it crossed my mind.

Reluctantly, my student became Bad-Rum Ronny and started:

“Arrrr… When, in the course of human events…”

And just as he was getting more comfortable with his new found identity, I said:

“That was fantastic! Now, please take it from the beginning, but this time, I want you to be a female pirate. Pretend you’re Johnny Depp’s big sister…”

My student looked at me as if I had lost my sanity.

“You’re really pushing the envelope,” he said.

“Oh, come on,” I pleaded. “The Founding Mothers would be so proud of you. And if you do it, I promise to write about it in my blog.”

That apparently worked because this time he sounded more like Geena Davis in Cutthroat Island.

“Wow,” he said. “I never knew I had that in me. That’s kind of scary…”

“Here’s what I learned,” I said. Some people avoid taking risks because they’re afraid of what the world might think of them. But playing it safe won’t get you very far. One day, you’ll have a client that will ask you to do something you’ve never done before. Something that might scare the living daylights out of you.

Do it anyway.

You have to be comfortable with who you are, in order to allow yourself to break out of your comfort zone. In other words: be comfortable being uncomfortable. It means you’re growing!”

3. ACT NATURAL
As a professional performer, this is another oxymoron you have to live with. You have to learn how to be natural in unnatural situations. It comes in different variations:

• Act, but don’t make it look like you’re acting.
• Read but don’t sound like you’re reading.
• Pretend not to pretend.
• Deliver a meticulously prepared and polished performance that seems spontaneous.
• Give it your all, but make it seem effortless.
• Don’t try it. Just do it. Be yourself.

It’s great advice, but nobody ever tells you how to get there, right?!

It all goes back to the “Four Stages of Learning,” a theory posited by psychologist Abraham Maslow. He coined four psychological states involved in the process of progressing from incompetence to competence in a skill:

1. Unconsciously incompetent: you’re not aware that you can’t do something
2. Consciously incompetent: you know that you are incompetent at something
3. Consciously competent: you’re developing the skill, but you constantly have to think about what you’re doing
4. Unconsciously competent: you’ve become so good at it, that it has become second nature

All of us go through these phases when we’re learning how to drive, how to type  and how to walk. Only when we’ve reached the level of unconscious competence, we are able to Act Natural.

In a world that revolves around instant gratification, quick fixes, easy answers and immediate results, this is a very unpopular 4-step process. We want it all and we want it now! Why is it so hard to find gratification in delayed gratification?

4. EXPERIENCED or EXCITING?
Do the following scenarios ring a bell?

a. You’re trying to break into the business, but you don’t want to come across as an absolute beginner.

b. You have years of experience, but you don’t want them to think of you as yesterday’s news.

It’s an impossible situation, isn’t it? Here are a few more stereotypes:

• Seasoned pros are old school and too expensive.
• Rookies are wild cards and need a lot of hand-holding.
• Veterans are rigid, arrogant and demanding.
• Newbies are unpredictable and have yet to hone their skills.

This black-and-white thinking is nothing but a distortion of reality. Do not fall for these false dilemmas. Challenge them instead. You might have years of experience but does that mean that you have lost your Mojo? Is a beginner by definition always new, fresh and exciting, or is he just a copycat? Are clients paying more because your rate is higher, or is it more expensive to hire an amateur?

A BALANCING ACT
As a freelancer you have to be able to deal with two diametrically different ideas at the same time. Don’t worry. You’re intelligent. You can handle it!

Let me leave you with some more freelance Yin and Yang:

- Have a strong backbone, but dare to be vulnerable.

- Be personable and keep things strictly business.

- Be spontaneous, but bite your tongue.

- Be proud of your accomplishments and stay humble.

- Be confident, but doubt yourself enough to evaluate your performance.

- Set the highest standards, but cut yourself some slack.

- Be available and accessible, but balance work and play.

- Sell yourself, but don’t sound like you’re selling yourself.

- Be passionate about your work, but know that it’s a means to an end.

- Keep your head in the clouds and your feet firmly planted on the ground.

- Be able to multi-task and stay completely focused.

- Be in the moment and plan for the future.

- Admire without feeling threatened.

A NEW YEAR
As I am opening a new chapter for Nethervoice, one of my friends asked me:

“Paul, what are your plans? Your blog is doing so well and you’re turning down voice-over work. Are you going to focus more on your writing or on narration?”

I thought about it for a moment, and then I said:

“Either way is better.”

Paul Strikwerda © 2010
www.nethervoice.com

PS Read the incredible story of how Bill “The Boomer” lost a $5000 gig and perhaps his reputation

PPS Stay in touch with Double Dutch and subscribe today!

Technorati Tags: Abraham Maslow, act natural, Dutch voice over, four stages of learning, freelance, freelancer, Freelancing, Geena Davis, Johnny Depp, Nethervoice, Paul Strikwerda, pirate, Taoism, voice acting, voice actor, voice-over, voice-over coach, voiceover, Yin and Yang

RECESSION DEPRESSION… I don’t think it has made it into the DSM-IV yet (the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders). Give it some time and the American Psychiatric Association might include it in the next edition (together with Orthorexia nervosa, a harmful obsession with health foods).

If your plate or glass always appears to be half empty, it’s tempting to feel hopeless and helpless about the current state of the nation. Of course your freelance career is down in the dumps. It’s the economy, stupid! It has nothing to do with you.

Here’s the thing: if it has nothing to do with you, it means that you can’t turn it around. You’re a victim of circumstance. Now go to your doctor and ask for a happy-pill. You might be depressed, but the least you can do is feel good about it.

SUBJECTIVE REALITY
Remember that no matter where you look, you’ll always find a way to filter your perception of reality to justify your outlook on the world. If you feel that this time of economic crisis is limiting your chances of landing freelance jobs, you’re right. If you feel that the current recession is creating brand new freelance opportunities, you’re right! What you focus on most, is most likely to materialize. That’s the idea behind the self-fulfilling prophecy.

As a blogging freelancer, I get a lot of emails from colleagues who want to pick my brain. Here’s the number one question people ask me:

How do you beat the recession?

My first inclination is to ask them “What recession?” but that would be insensitive. Of course I know that millions of people are scrambling to get by. I used to be one of them. But feeling overpowered and helpless about it, is not going to pull you out of your slump. If you’re giving in and giving up, it’s game over. But that would be too easy. I think you deserve better.

INSIDE INFORMATION
At the risk of sounding like a self-help guru, I do believe that one way to beat this recession is by working from the inside-out. Before you do anything, I recommend you look at the way you are perceiving yourself right now.

In Holland we have a saying:  “Als je voor een dubbeltje geboren bent, word je nooit een kwartje.” Or in plain English: “If you were born a dime, you’ll never become a quarter.” It’s another way of saying: You need to know your place (and stay there). Well, if that’s really how you feel, what impact does this have on the choices you make?

If you’re applying for a job, and deep-down inside you’re telling yourself  “I don’t deserve this” or “I’ll never make it,” aren’t you setting yourself up for failure?

Other people grow up believing: “I can do anything I set my mind to” or “No matter what happens, I’ll always find a solution.” How do you think this impacts the way they lead their lives?

CONVENIENT ASSUMPTIONS
Here’s the remarkable thing about beliefs: it doesn’t matter whether they’re true or not. Yet, beliefs are a powerful driving force behind behavior. Beliefs can give us hope, strength and courage, or they can fence us in and bring us down.

A belief is not some innocent abstract concept without consequences. Some people are prepared to kill and die in the name of whatever they believe in. Americans wouldn’t be celebrating the Fourth of July, if it weren’t for a set  of certain powerful beliefs!

Proponents of mind-body medicine like Bernie Siegel, M.D., are convinced that our beliefs can heal or harm our body, and that our state of mind has a measurable impact on our immune system.

If you think that all of this is just a bunch of mumbo-jumbo, realize that this too, is a belief. Beliefs don’t have to make sense. Beliefs don’t need to be scientifically sound. Beliefs give people a feeling of certainty. All that matters is whether or not a belief is plausible. The placebo effect is entirely based on this assumption.

SCIENCE-FICTION
Nevertheless, a group of medical students who firmly believed in a logical, analytical approach to medicine, wouldn’t have any of it. How could ordinary thoughts possibly influence biological functions and seemingly autonomous chemical-electrical responses? That’s just a bunch of New Age baloney!

One day, their professor walked in and said: “By a show of hands, how many of you believe that the mind is capable of influencing the body?” Not one single hand went up in the air. Mind over matter wasn’t science. It was science-fiction.

Then the professor started reading one of the more notorious passages from “Lady Chatterley’s Lover” by D.H. Lawrence. Soon his audience started to blush. At the end of a few quite explicit paragraphs, he looked up at his students and asked the same question again. “How many of you believe that the mind is capable of influencing the body?” This time, they all raised their hands.

So, let me share one of my empowering beliefs with you. It goes like this:

THERE’S NO ONE LIKE ME

 

I can already hear some people’s reaction:

“Well, duh… After all that build-up, is that the best you can do? Thank you Captain Obvious, superhero of platitudes! That’s not much of an eye-opener, is it? Of course there’s no one like you (and that’s probably a good thing).”

Well, once you get past the sarcasm and cynicism, consider the following.

Every day, thousands of people are waking up with a dream. Some want to become writers, news anchors or architects. Some want to find a cure for Multiple Sclerosis or invent an environmentally-friendly way to clean up oil spills… or a way to clean up the companies who are responsible for this Brutal Pollution.

But by the time we enter our teens, most of us have learned that dreams are figments of the imagination and that in order to grow up, we must face “reality”. Isn’t it strange? We start out as this helpless but boundless human being filled with infinite possibilities (especially if you were lucky to be born in a country like The Netherlands or the United States).

Then the process of social conditioning and conforming sets in. If we wish to please our parents and other role-models, we better be compliant and allow ourselves to be conditioned in order to be worthy of their love, attention and affection. We learn to blend in and not to raise our voice. If we do well, we are rewarded. If we don’t fit the mould, we have to face the consequences. Heaven forbid that we should stand out from the crowd…

GO YANKEES
When my 8-year old daughter wanted to go to school in a Yankees-shirt while 98% of the kids were wearing Phillies-Jerseys, some parents thought I was nuts. Why would I expose my daughter to ridicule and make her stick out like a sore thumb? What kind of a parent does that?

Here’s the thing: my daughter didn’t feel all warm and fuzzy about the Phillies. She happened to root, root, root for the Yankees. And when she went to school, she soon found out that a few other kids were Yankees fans too. Yes, some classmates made fun of her and others ignored her. But she held her head up high and felt even stronger because she stood up for something she believed in. Months later, the Bronx Bombers defeated the Phillies to win the World Series.

What does that have to do with beating the recession? I’ll tell you! If you want to be self-employed but you don’t believe in yourself, you are sabotaging your success even before you’re out of the gate. You have to be comfortable with who you are and with what you have to offer (comfortable, not cocky).

If you’re in the service industry, you are your product. If you’re producing a product, you will be identified with it. Whether you like it or not, you are your brand and you better embrace it.

RIDICULE AND MOCKERY
When I set out to become a full-time voice-over professional, I knew the odds were heavily against me. Some people said:

“Do you honestly believe that you’ll make it as an actor? Dream on! The restaurants of New York and LA are filled with thousands of hopeful waiters. All they do is wait and wait for an opportunity that never comes. These days, anyone with a mic and a laptop can claim to be the next Don LaFontaine. The market is saturated. The economy is bad. Why don’t you get a real job, my friend?”

Here’s why I didn’t: because I knew that there’s no one like me. Yes, there are tons of people who do what I do, but they don’t do it the way I do it. It’s just a matter of letting the rest of the world know what I have to offer.

Believe it or not, this process started less than twelve months ago. This time last year I had no ‘corporate identity’ and there was no company website or a blog. I didn’t own expensive equipment and I had no big shot agents ready to represent me. All I had was a bunch of excited neurons bouncing around in my brain.

Well, that’s not entirely true. I had a number of people who believed in me, and who were willing to lend me a very generous helping hand (Thank you Pam, Dick, Polly and Folkert!). But before they could believe in me, I had to believe in myself.

GETTING THERE
After less than a year I’m nowhere near where I want to be, and it would be arrogant to pretend otherwise. However, I am proud of what I have achieved so far.

This blog is read by more people than I ever hoped for; Internet Voice Coach just posted my first tutorial, and the award-winning Florida Realtor Magazine now features an article I wrote about voice-overs and virtual home tours.

I am recording voice-overs in four languages for clients on all continents, and I couldn’t be happier that I proved my skeptics wrong.

Now, this list of personal achievements is not  some vain attempt to show off. Rather, it’s my way of telling you what could happen if you refuse to give in to recession depression.

The skeptics will tell you “I will believe it when I see it”. I am telling you that you have to believe it before you will see it.

When Disney World opened its doors, Walt Disney was no longer alive. Before the opening ceremony, a reporter asked Walt’s brother Roy: “Don’t you think it’s a shame that Walt Disney isn’t here to see it all?” Roy answered:

“That’s not exactly true. Because Walt saw it, we are seeing it today!”

Paul Strikwerda © 2010
www.nethervoice.com

PS What are some of the empowering beliefs that help you deal with the recession? Share them in the comment box below!

PPS My next article is all about freelance dilemmas:  is it better to be a generalist or a specialist?

Technorati Tags: beating the recession, Bernie Siegel, D.H. Lawrence, DSM-IV, Dutch voiceover, empowering beliefs, Florida Realtor Magazine, Fourth of July, freelance, freelancer, how to beat the recession, Lady Chatterley's Lover, mind over matter, mind-body medicine, Nethervoice, Paul Strikwerda, Phillies, recession depression, Roy Disney, voice talent, voice-over, voiceover, Walt Disney, Walt Disney World, World Series, Yankees

No, I’m not going to tell you what it is just yet. Let me begin by asking you a simple question: Do words have power? When you think of it, aren’t they just letters in a certain order? Or are there words in our language that are so potent, that they have the potential to transform our life and our livelihood?

Now, before you think that I’ve gone all philosophical again instead of practical, just  STOP for a moment and think about it…

In the past few days I’ve asked some of my friends about words they feel have had (and still have) a profound impact on their professional lives. Here are some of the words they came up with:

As for me, the one word that has been my guiding light in the past 25 years as a freelancer, is neither grand nor deep. Yet, I believe it to be one of the most powerful words in our vocabulary. Without it, my career certainly wouldn’t be where it is today. It consists of two letters.

It is the word NO.

NO is the ultimate reflection of where I draw the line in life; the line between what I am willing to accept and what I must reject. Right now I can honestly say that I owe most of my success as an independent contractor to this word. It’s quite simple:

In order to give yourself a leg up, you sometimes have to put your foot down.

Today I am offering you seven suggestions for shaping your freelance career by using the power of what William Ury calls a “Positive No”.

1. SAY NO TO MOST FREELANCE JOBS
In this recession it seems that many freelancers function in survival mode and operate out of fear. They jump on every job opportunity that presents itself, because “you never know what tomorrow will bring”. They’re like a batsman who’s hitting at everything the pitcher’s throwing at him.

Although you might consider yourself to be a versatile voice-over pro, web designer or copywriter, even the famous Swiss Army knife has its limitations. It is humanly impossible to be everything to everyone. Like a batsman, you have to wait for the perfect moment where preparation meets opportunity, to hit that ball out of the park.

KNOW when to say NO. It’s early in the day as I am writing this article, but I’ve already said NO to at least fifteen jobs that didn’t meet my criteria. Why waste time applying for work I’m not totally qualified for?

I could get really ticked off by colleagues who subscribe to the “more is more strategy,” telling me: “It’s a numbers game. The more I try, the more chances I have to land a job.” Even though it might look that way sometimes, it is not a lottery. It is a business.

And why am I not ticked off? Well, we all have our life lessons to learn, and some people just prefer to learn things the hard way. And because they can’t…

2. SAY NO TO DIY
If you’re running your own business, it’s probably safe to say that you’re wearing many hats: CEO, CFO, COO, Head of HR, Advertising, Acquisition, Marketing, PR, IT, R & D, Quality Control, Social Media Manipulation… Are you tired yet? And guess who’s delivering the goods?

Just because you’re self-employed, doesn’t mean that you must do everything yourself. You shouldn’t, because you’ll burn out before you’ve even lit up the place.

KNOW your strengths. A realtor decided to shoot his own real estate video tours to save some money. As he was taking his shaky camera through a million dollar property, I could hear him do his own narration. The result was cheap, unprofessional and embarrassing. When he read my paper on video tours and voice-overs, he decided that he was not going to be the new host of House Hunters. Thank goodness for that!

So, here’s your assignment of the day. Ask yourself: What is the number one thing in my business that:

1. Is an essential part of my job
2. I’m not good at
3. I hate to do
4. Takes up way too much time

Now ask yourself two questions:

- How much more productive would I be, if I would outsource this to an expert?
- How much more profitable would I be, if I would outsource this work, especially if I…

3. SAY NO TO LOW RATES
In a society where most of us still equate value and quality with price, low rates are the trademark of an amateur. This strategy might bring you a few short term gains, but you’ll end up a long-term loser.

If you need nine more reasons why you shouldn’t sell yourself short, read my article: The secret to landing any freelance job.

KNOW the value of your work and the effect of your pricing on your bottom line and on your market. Then take the next step and…

4. SAY NO TO LOW STANDARDS
The Greek philosopher Mediocrates gave us the Law of Averages:

“Average standards lead to average results”

Look around you. Despite all the self-help hoopla that is sold as the “psychology of excellence,” the best most can hope for is mediocrity. Otherwise, “average” wouldn’t be the most common denominator and Walmart would have no customers.

KNOW that as an independent contractor you have the privilege of not having to live by other people’s rules. Look at your role models. Did they achieve success by following other people’s standards, or by setting their own? Become a non-conformist. Be utterly un-average and totally inimitable. Be younique and…

5. SAY NO TO BLAME
The Law of Causality deals with the relationship between an event and the consequence of that event. This interplay of Cause and Effect is reflected in our language as in: “My business isn’t doing so well because….”

We all know people who aren’t where they want to be in life, and they’re absolutely convinced that it is someone else’s fault. If only all the other people on this planet would change, they’d be so much happier! Those are the folks who blame the fast food industry for the obesity crisis and the tobacco industry for turning them into helpless, brainwashed chain smokers.

Blame makes people lame and seemingly dependent on things they have little or no control over. Mind you, I am not denying the devastating role some external circumstances can play in someone’s life. Neither am I trying to guilt-trip people for having been dealt some terrible cards.

I am talking about people who –rather than take responsibility for the things they have control over, expect others to fix them for them. Those are the people who’d rather complain about something than do something about it.

KNOW the difference between making things happen and letting things happen. It’s fine to subscribe to an on-line job search service. However, if you adopt a wait-and-see approach and blame the website when you’re not landing gigs within a week, you’re giving them way too much credit and you have effectively disempowered yourself.

I firmly believe that we’re not helpless leaves in the wind. I believe that we can harness the power of the wind and adjust our sails by the virtue of the choices we make. One of those choices we can make is to…

6. SAY NO TO UNCONTROLLED SPENDING
Why did the New York Times write that “one of the world’s most successful photographers essentially pawned every snap of the shutter she had made or will make until her loans are paid off”?

The Times cited as one of the reasons, that Annie Leibovitz has had a “long history of less than careful financial dealings“.

In the ideal world, you always have a pipeline full of projects. In reality, work can come in waves. When you finally hit that freelance jackpot and you’re starting to make some serious money, nothing is more tempting than to go on a spending spree. After all, you deserve it, don’t you?

Yes, you totally deserve to reap the rewards of your labor, today, tomorrow…. and in a few months when that big project is done and the money is no more. It’s not fun to be brilliant but broke.

KNOW that when it rains it probably pours, and when it doesn’t, you must set money aside for… a rainy day. Your bills don’t care whether or not you were lucky to get a nice chunk of cash in June. There’s always July, August and -dare I mention it- the day you hope to retire.

The book “The Millionaire Next Door” is not about big spenders. It is about people like you and me who live well below their means. Those folks are likely to…

7. SAY NO TO TAKING INSTEAD OF GIVING
“What’s in it for me? I want it for free!” seems to be the mantra of the new millennium. This narrow focus on personal gain, often at the expense of others and our planet, is an egotistical and eco-destructive philosophy.

Yet, some self-styled entrepreneurs have made the following three words the cornerstone of their business: Gimme, gimme, gimme.

With the rise of social media, this new group of predators is all about ‘getting’ instead of ‘giving’. They want to befriend you in order to milk your network, so they can slam your contacts with overt or covert product- and self-promotion.

These vampires seldom contribute to a discussion, and when they do, it’s mainly to get their contact information in the comment field. They ask for referrals. They don’t give referrals. They want a sample of your work… and run away with it.

KNOW that the way to grow a freelance business is to become a contributor; by giving back. Over the years, countless people have given me their time and expertise free of charge, just because they wanted to help.

PAY IT FORWARD
The best way to honor the gifts they have given me, is by passing them on to someone else. That’s one of the reasons why I started this blog, and that’s why you might find me answering someone else’s questions on a networking site.

When you start paying it forward, amazing things will happen. Do you have time for three examples?

* A few months ago, Shelley Cryan, a brilliant freelance photographer and real estate videographer, asked for recommendations for a voice-over microphone on an on-line forum. I happened to read her request and gave her some suggestions. A few weeks later, Shelley asked me if I’d be interested in narrating one of her virtual home tours. I just completed my third narration for her.

* Earlier this year, master narrator John Pruden wrote an excellent article for VoiceoverXtra. After I had left a comment, John got in touch with me and we exchanged a few emails. Recently, he told me about an audio book project that might be a good fit because I’m a multi-linguist. He recommended me to the client and to cut a long story short: after an audition they offered me the job.

* In April, David Rosenthal -the enthusiastic driving force behind Internet Voice Coach- wrote me an email in which he told me how much he enjoyed my blog. Not so long ago he asked me if I would like to join his team of contributors at Internet Voice Coach as the “expert on all things international”. I couldn’t be happier!

Over the weekend, my IVC “department” opened its doors and it now features exclusive interviews with Bodalgo’s Armin Hierstetter and Arabic blogger/voice-over Mahmoud Taji (who recently published a free e-book called “The Modern Voiceoverist’s Guide to the Online Universe & Other Stories”).

I’m not telling you these things to impress you. I’m sharing these examples to impress upon you that wonderful and unexpected things can happen as a result of being attentive to opportunities to help and contribute.

TEST
One last thing. Should you choose to adopt these seven suggestions and become a no-sayer, expect to be tested! We live in a culture of YES and instant gratification. People don’t want to hear the word no. They’d rather cut off their no’s to spite their face. When they’re putting pressure on you to cave in, remember this:

The best students usually get the most challenging tests!

So, stick to the program and keep on saying “yes” to NO.

Paul Strikwerda © 2010
www.nethervoice.com

PS What are some of the things you have said NO to as a freelancer, and how has that worked out for you?

PPS What’s the number one question colleagues keep on asking me, and how do I answer it? Find out here!

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