Double Dutch

“If a picture’s worth a thousand words, why didn’t I become a photographer instead of a voice-over?”

That was typical Bill. No “Hello” or “How are you”. Bill always comes in with some kind of wisecrack.

“Why do you look so happy?” I asked. “Just watching you makes me miserable.”

“I think I nailed that last audition, man. I totally rocked the house,” Bill said, beaming from ear to ear. “I even added some special effects.” He made the sound of an airplane on the runway. I was utterly confused.

Bill is no Shallow Hal. Bill is deep. A while ago, I nicknamed him ‘Bill the Boomer’ because of his powerful pipes. Most mics aren’t made to handle Bill’s almighty ‘basso profundo’. Most of his clients aren’t either.

Do you want to know something remarkable? I don’t think Bill really has a voice. It’s more of an instrument. His vocal cords could be a terrible weapon in the hands of the wrong people. If LaFontaine was the ‘Voice of God’, Bill had to be the incarnation of Beelzebub. Well… sort of.

Bill and I go way back. This is what you should know about him:

He has a heart the size of Texas and New Mexico combined.

Bill has ambition.

Bill has talent.

And… Bill has no social filter for his thoughts. He doesn’t listen and just spits out words. Unminced. He is always heading for some kind of impulsive disaster.

I have told him many times: “Bite your tongue Bill, or otherwise you’ll get in trouble.”

He always gives me the same answer: “I can’t bite my tongue. I’m a voice-over. I’d be out of commission for weeks. Besides, you know me: I’m spontaneous.”

“There is a subtle difference between being spontaneous and being obnoxious, Bill,” I explained. “And you can be both.”

One day, I overheard him as he was talking to his agent on his brand new Droid. I could tell he was not amused:

“If they want me to use my money voice, they should pay me a decent rate! Give me a break. And if they don’t like it, tell ‘em that they’re free to shop at voices one-two-three or whatever. There they’ll find plenty of people who’d do this job for a piece of paper with Franklin’s face on it.”

“They’ll do it for less, Bill,” I said. “I just found this website called Fiverr dot com . It’s advertised as ‘The place for people to share things they’re willing to do for five bucks’.

Guess what? I found someone to replace you! His listing reads as follows:

“For $5 you’ll get me speaking and recording your script no matter what it is! English man with a clear accent. Check out my voice here.”

“You must be kidding me,” said Bill. “I wonder what else people are offering for a fiver?”

“That’s a scary thought, Bill. Don’t even go there.”

Instead, I read a few other listings to him:

• I will design a Professional Logo for any porpuse for $5 (that’s how it was written)
• I will help you with setting up your own studio for $5
• I will write any article of any length for $5

“Seriously, last time I checked, there were at least 1600 pages of these ads and each page has seventeen listings. Perhaps we should have become professional photographers after all. Look at this… I can’t compete with this guy. He writes:

I will create 30 second voice overs if you provide the script. I will allow retakes until you are satisfied. Voice over professional with over 20 years experience.

A week later Bill asked me over for some energy drinks.

“What’s the deal with that audition you were so proud of? Did you get the gig?” I wanted to know.

“Funny you should ask,” said Bill. “I need to talk to you about that. I want an honest opinion. You see, I thought I nailed it, and this morning the producer called me for something else. He also told me that everybody in the office had had a good laugh when they listened to my demo.

They ended up offering the part to that guy who used to do these Geico commercials. He suddenly became available. Can you believe that?”

“No,” I said. “I can’t believe that.

Nobody likes being rejected, my friend. Were you at least graceful in defeat?”

“Well….” said Bill. “I think I might have hit a bit of a snag in that department. You know me and my blabbermouth. I just couldn’t help myself.”

“Bill, tell me, what did you say to that producer when he told you that you didn’t get the part? You know you can be very rude, dude.”

Bill took a deep breath.

“I didn’t really mean it,” he said.

“Didn’t mean what, Bill?”

“I told this fellow that he wasn’t making any sense and… that I thought he was so gay that he couldn’t even think straight.”

“Oh… come on, man,” I said. “You should have known better than that. That was way off base. Some of my best friends are producers, and they would have wrung you out and hung you up to dry.

Listen to me, Bill. If you ever want to have a long career in this industry, begin by thinking before you open that money making mouth of yours. And I’ll tell you something else: you better start embracing your inner rainbow! You’re in show business.”

“What’s that supposed to mean? Do you want me to start liking Liza Minelli?” asked Bill, as he took a sip from his Gatorade. “That’s not going to happen.”

“Can you be serious for a moment?” I asked. “You and I know that some of the best jobs don’t necessarily go to the best people. Why do you think that is?”

Before he could answer, I continued:

“Some people know how to schmooze, my friend. They know not to bite the hand that feeds them. They know that if that powerful producer says something that is even remotely funny, they are expected to laugh like Pavlov’s dog.”

“I didn’t know dogs could laugh,” said Bill.

“For Pete’s sake, Bill,” I tried. “How can I ever get through to you? This isn’t funny. Show some respect. Call that producer now and apologize. It’s about time you learn the art of flattery, my friend. These guys can make or break your career, so you better start sucking up to them. If you don’t, you’ll end up burning all those bridges that you haven’t even built yet. Capisce?”

“Point taken. I apperciate the advice,” said Bill, pretending to sound like George W. Bush. “But I still think they should have given me that job. I’m telling you: my audition was funny and flawless, but this producer said that I’d completely missed the mark.”

“Alright, mister president,” I responded. “Let’s play that demo before you call him back and eat some humble pie.”

I have to admit that Bill’s audition was weird. It seemed like it had been recorded in the cockpit of an airplane. He’d been right about these special effects. He also sounded happy but in a forced way, when he said:

“Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. We are now flying at an altitude of 5000 feet and the skies are clear. Why don’t you sit back, relax and enjoy our complementary peanuts. Organic peanuts from Greener Pastures. Green never tasted better.”

“And…?” asked Bill expectantly. “You’re a straight shooter. Give it to me.”

“Bill, I have to be totally honest with you. What on earth were you thinking? This demo doesn’t make any sense whatsoever,” I said. “You’re nuts.”

“That’s exactly what the producer told me,” said Bill. He even asked me:

“Why did you spoof Leslie Nielsen in ‘Airplane!’ instead of coming up with some kind of silly character voice?”

“And what did you tell him?” I asked.

“I told him that I just followed the instructions that came with the script,” said Bill.

“What instructions are you talking about, Bill?”

“It read:

This is for an animated pilot.

How was I supposed to know they meant a cartoon?”

Paul Strikwerda © 2010
www.nethervoice.com

PS Stay in touch with Double Dutch and subscribe today! Thanks for retweeting!

PPS In my next article, I will tell you how I turned a firm NO into a solid YES and landed a lucrative audio book deal.

Technorati Tags: animated pilot, audition gone wrong, Dutch voice over, Leslie Nielsen, Liza Minelli, Nethervoice, never bite the hand that feeds you, Paul Strikwerda, voice-over, voiceover, voiceover audition

IMPOSSIBLE CLIENTS. We know who you are! You’re searching for a specialist who can handle almost anything. Isn’t that a contradiction in terms? Does your family doctor make a great brain surgeon? Can a novelist write irresistible advertising copy?

Yet, some clients are looking for a be-all, do-it-all freelancer with young, fresh ideas and years of experience. Is that too much to ask?

Some psychologists say that the fact that we humans are able to hold two diametrically opposed ideas in our mind at the same time, is a true sign of intelligence. Part of me wants to believe that this is indeed correct. The other part thinks it’s utter hogwash.

Does this theory imply that we have to develop a split personality in order to be perspicacious? Well, I’m more than torn about that too.

On one hand it seems kind of dim to define intelligence in such a limited way. On the other hand, aren’t most eternal truths simple and succinct in nature?

THREE CHEERS
Today I am celebrating the official launch of my company Nethervoice, exactly one year ago. To mark the moment, I started to reflect on the dichotomies of freelance life.

If you’ve just discovered this blog, you should know that I make a living as a full-time voice-over professional. Yes, I am the disembodied voice reading an audio book to you during long car rides. I tell you when to click the “next-button” as you’re e-learning on-line. I have sold cars in South-Africa, hotels in Spain, ski slopes in Austria and stoves in Finland. And that’s just the boring stuff…

But whether you’re making your money as a faceless voice, as a copywriter, a graphic designer or you’re in any other way self-employed, you and I have lots in common. Day in day out, we’re dealing with seemingly contrary forces that are interconnected and interdependent, that -somehow- give rise to each other.

Taoists already know what I’m talking about: the ancient concept of Yin and Yang.

Here’s an example of two concepts that seem mutually exclusive or at least contradictory:

1. SPECIALIZE or GENERALIZE?
Marketing gurus tell us: you can’t be a Jack of all trades. Don’t do what everybody else does. Find your niche. Create, don’t imitate. Lead, don’t follow. Distinguish yourself.

Here’s the problem: by narrowing your niche, you could be narrowing your market and you run the risk of becoming a one-dimensional, one-trick pony.

However, if you don’t differentiate yourself from the rest of the pack, you could become a dime a dozen. Why should a client hire Mr. or Mrs. More of the Same?

This is your challenge: you have to find your own voice and be flexible. Great inventors come up with a product that:

- solves a common problem

- is totally unique and

- appeals to a wide audience

2. FAMILIAR or FOREIGN?
Most people embrace the familiar and fear the unknown. But if you wish to grow on a personal and professional level, you must step into uncharted territory and invite the unpredictable.

During one of my voice-over coaching sessions, I asked a rather stuck-up student to read part of the Declaration of Independence… in a pirate voice. I ran into resistance from the get-go.

“I can’t do a pirate voice,” he said emphatically.

“Why not?” I asked.

“First off, it’s disrespectful. Secondly, I’m not going to make a fool of myself,” he replied.

I said: “You want to be a voice-over actor, don’t you?” “Actors have the ultimate excuse to be ridiculous. How are you ever going to expand your range, if you’re not willing to try something new? Were you one of those kids that only ate Mac & Cheese?”

Well, I didn’t really say that last thing, but it crossed my mind.

Reluctantly, my student became Bad-Rum Ronny and started:

“Arrrr… When, in the course of human events…”

And just as he was getting more comfortable with his new found identity, I said:

“That was fantastic! Now, please take it from the beginning, but this time, I want you to be a female pirate. Pretend you’re Johnny Depp’s big sister…”

My student looked at me as if I had lost my sanity.

“You’re really pushing the envelope,” he said.

“Oh, come on,” I pleaded. “The Founding Mothers would be so proud of you. And if you do it, I promise to write about it in my blog.”

That apparently worked because this time he sounded more like Geena Davis in Cutthroat Island.

“Wow,” he said. “I never knew I had that in me. That’s kind of scary…”

“Here’s what I learned,” I said. Some people avoid taking risks because they’re afraid of what the world might think of them. But playing it safe won’t get you very far. One day, you’ll have a client that will ask you to do something you’ve never done before. Something that might scare the living daylights out of you.

Do it anyway.

You have to be comfortable with who you are, in order to allow yourself to break out of your comfort zone. In other words: be comfortable being uncomfortable. It means you’re growing!”

3. ACT NATURAL
As a professional performer, this is another oxymoron you have to live with. You have to learn how to be natural in unnatural situations. It comes in different variations:

• Act, but don’t make it look like you’re acting.
• Read but don’t sound like you’re reading.
• Pretend not to pretend.
• Deliver a meticulously prepared and polished performance that seems spontaneous.
• Give it your all, but make it seem effortless.
• Don’t try it. Just do it. Be yourself.

It’s great advice, but nobody ever tells you how to get there, right?!

It all goes back to the “Four Stages of Learning,” a theory posited by psychologist Abraham Maslow. He coined four psychological states involved in the process of progressing from incompetence to competence in a skill:

1. Unconsciously incompetent: you’re not aware that you can’t do something
2. Consciously incompetent: you know that you are incompetent at something
3. Consciously competent: you’re developing the skill, but you constantly have to think about what you’re doing
4. Unconsciously competent: you’ve become so good at it, that it has become second nature

All of us go through these phases when we’re learning how to drive, how to type  and how to walk. Only when we’ve reached the level of unconscious competence, we are able to Act Natural.

In a world that revolves around instant gratification, quick fixes, easy answers and immediate results, this is a very unpopular 4-step process. We want it all and we want it now! Why is it so hard to find gratification in delayed gratification?

4. EXPERIENCED or EXCITING?
Do the following scenarios ring a bell?

a. You’re trying to break into the business, but you don’t want to come across as an absolute beginner.

b. You have years of experience, but you don’t want them to think of you as yesterday’s news.

It’s an impossible situation, isn’t it? Here are a few more stereotypes:

• Seasoned pros are old school and too expensive.
• Rookies are wild cards and need a lot of hand-holding.
• Veterans are rigid, arrogant and demanding.
• Newbies are unpredictable and have yet to hone their skills.

This black-and-white thinking is nothing but a distortion of reality. Do not fall for these false dilemmas. Challenge them instead. You might have years of experience but does that mean that you have lost your Mojo? Is a beginner by definition always new, fresh and exciting, or is he just a copycat? Are clients paying more because your rate is higher, or is it more expensive to hire an amateur?

A BALANCING ACT
As a freelancer you have to be able to deal with two diametrically different ideas at the same time. Don’t worry. You’re intelligent. You can handle it!

Let me leave you with some more freelance Yin and Yang:

- Have a strong backbone, but dare to be vulnerable.

- Be personable and keep things strictly business.

- Be spontaneous, but bite your tongue.

- Be proud of your accomplishments and stay humble.

- Be confident, but doubt yourself enough to evaluate your performance.

- Set the highest standards, but cut yourself some slack.

- Be available and accessible, but balance work and play.

- Sell yourself, but don’t sound like you’re selling yourself.

- Be passionate about your work, but know that it’s a means to an end.

- Keep your head in the clouds and your feet firmly planted on the ground.

- Be able to multi-task and stay completely focused.

- Be in the moment and plan for the future.

- Admire without feeling threatened.

A NEW YEAR
As I am opening a new chapter for Nethervoice, one of my friends asked me:

“Paul, what are your plans? Your blog is doing so well and you’re turning down voice-over work. Are you going to focus more on your writing or on narration?”

I thought about it for a moment, and then I said:

“Either way is better.”

Paul Strikwerda © 2010
www.nethervoice.com

PS Read the incredible story of how Bill “The Boomer” lost a $5000 gig and perhaps his reputation

PPS Stay in touch with Double Dutch and subscribe today!

Technorati Tags: Abraham Maslow, act natural, Dutch voice over, four stages of learning, freelance, freelancer, Freelancing, Geena Davis, Johnny Depp, Nethervoice, Paul Strikwerda, pirate, Taoism, voice acting, voice actor, voice-over, voice-over coach, voiceover, Yin and Yang

RECESSION DEPRESSION… I don’t think it has made it into the DSM-IV yet (the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders). Give it some time and the American Psychiatric Association might include it in the next edition (together with Orthorexia nervosa, a harmful obsession with health foods).

If your plate or glass always appears to be half empty, it’s tempting to feel hopeless and helpless about the current state of the nation. Of course your freelance career is down in the dumps. It’s the economy, stupid! It has nothing to do with you.

Here’s the thing: if it has nothing to do with you, it means that you can’t turn it around. You’re a victim of circumstance. Now go to your doctor and ask for a happy-pill. You might be depressed, but the least you can do is feel good about it.

SUBJECTIVE REALITY
Remember that no matter where you look, you’ll always find a way to filter your perception of reality to justify your outlook on the world. If you feel that this time of economic crisis is limiting your chances of landing freelance jobs, you’re right. If you feel that the current recession is creating brand new freelance opportunities, you’re right! What you focus on most, is most likely to materialize. That’s the idea behind the self-fulfilling prophecy.

As a blogging freelancer, I get a lot of emails from colleagues who want to pick my brain. Here’s the number one question people ask me:

How do you beat the recession?

My first inclination is to ask them “What recession?” but that would be insensitive. Of course I know that millions of people are scrambling to get by. I used to be one of them. But feeling overpowered and helpless about it, is not going to pull you out of your slump. If you’re giving in and giving up, it’s game over. But that would be too easy. I think you deserve better.

INSIDE INFORMATION
At the risk of sounding like a self-help guru, I do believe that one way to beat this recession is by working from the inside-out. Before you do anything, I recommend you look at the way you are perceiving yourself right now.

In Holland we have a saying:  “Als je voor een dubbeltje geboren bent, word je nooit een kwartje.” Or in plain English: “If you were born a dime, you’ll never become a quarter.” It’s another way of saying: You need to know your place (and stay there). Well, if that’s really how you feel, what impact does this have on the choices you make?

If you’re applying for a job, and deep-down inside you’re telling yourself  “I don’t deserve this” or “I’ll never make it,” aren’t you setting yourself up for failure?

Other people grow up believing: “I can do anything I set my mind to” or “No matter what happens, I’ll always find a solution.” How do you think this impacts the way they lead their lives?

CONVENIENT ASSUMPTIONS
Here’s the remarkable thing about beliefs: it doesn’t matter whether they’re true or not. Yet, beliefs are a powerful driving force behind behavior. Beliefs can give us hope, strength and courage, or they can fence us in and bring us down.

A belief is not some innocent abstract concept without consequences. Some people are prepared to kill and die in the name of whatever they believe in. Americans wouldn’t be celebrating the Fourth of July, if it weren’t for a set  of certain powerful beliefs!

Proponents of mind-body medicine like Bernie Siegel, M.D., are convinced that our beliefs can heal or harm our body, and that our state of mind has a measurable impact on our immune system.

If you think that all of this is just a bunch of mumbo-jumbo, realize that this too, is a belief. Beliefs don’t have to make sense. Beliefs don’t need to be scientifically sound. Beliefs give people a feeling of certainty. All that matters is whether or not a belief is plausible. The placebo effect is entirely based on this assumption.

SCIENCE-FICTION
Nevertheless, a group of medical students who firmly believed in a logical, analytical approach to medicine, wouldn’t have any of it. How could ordinary thoughts possibly influence biological functions and seemingly autonomous chemical-electrical responses? That’s just a bunch of New Age baloney!

One day, their professor walked in and said: “By a show of hands, how many of you believe that the mind is capable of influencing the body?” Not one single hand went up in the air. Mind over matter wasn’t science. It was science-fiction.

Then the professor started reading one of the more notorious passages from “Lady Chatterley’s Lover” by D.H. Lawrence. Soon his audience started to blush. At the end of a few quite explicit paragraphs, he looked up at his students and asked the same question again. “How many of you believe that the mind is capable of influencing the body?” This time, they all raised their hands.

So, let me share one of my empowering beliefs with you. It goes like this:

THERE’S NO ONE LIKE ME

 

I can already hear some people’s reaction:

“Well, duh… After all that build-up, is that the best you can do? Thank you Captain Obvious, superhero of platitudes! That’s not much of an eye-opener, is it? Of course there’s no one like you (and that’s probably a good thing).”

Well, once you get past the sarcasm and cynicism, consider the following.

Every day, thousands of people are waking up with a dream. Some want to become writers, news anchors or architects. Some want to find a cure for Multiple Sclerosis or invent an environmentally-friendly way to clean up oil spills… or a way to clean up the companies who are responsible for this Brutal Pollution.

But by the time we enter our teens, most of us have learned that dreams are figments of the imagination and that in order to grow up, we must face “reality”. Isn’t it strange? We start out as this helpless but boundless human being filled with infinite possibilities (especially if you were lucky to be born in a country like The Netherlands or the United States).

Then the process of social conditioning and conforming sets in. If we wish to please our parents and other role-models, we better be compliant and allow ourselves to be conditioned in order to be worthy of their love, attention and affection. We learn to blend in and not to raise our voice. If we do well, we are rewarded. If we don’t fit the mould, we have to face the consequences. Heaven forbid that we should stand out from the crowd…

GO YANKEES
When my 8-year old daughter wanted to go to school in a Yankees-shirt while 98% of the kids were wearing Phillies-Jerseys, some parents thought I was nuts. Why would I expose my daughter to ridicule and make her stick out like a sore thumb? What kind of a parent does that?

Here’s the thing: my daughter didn’t feel all warm and fuzzy about the Phillies. She happened to root, root, root for the Yankees. And when she went to school, she soon found out that a few other kids were Yankees fans too. Yes, some classmates made fun of her and others ignored her. But she held her head up high and felt even stronger because she stood up for something she believed in. Months later, the Bronx Bombers defeated the Phillies to win the World Series.

What does that have to do with beating the recession? I’ll tell you! If you want to be self-employed but you don’t believe in yourself, you are sabotaging your success even before you’re out of the gate. You have to be comfortable with who you are and with what you have to offer (comfortable, not cocky).

If you’re in the service industry, you are your product. If you’re producing a product, you will be identified with it. Whether you like it or not, you are your brand and you better embrace it.

RIDICULE AND MOCKERY
When I set out to become a full-time voice-over professional, I knew the odds were heavily against me. Some people said:

“Do you honestly believe that you’ll make it as an actor? Dream on! The restaurants of New York and LA are filled with thousands of hopeful waiters. All they do is wait and wait for an opportunity that never comes. These days, anyone with a mic and a laptop can claim to be the next Don LaFontaine. The market is saturated. The economy is bad. Why don’t you get a real job, my friend?”

Here’s why I didn’t: because I knew that there’s no one like me. Yes, there are tons of people who do what I do, but they don’t do it the way I do it. It’s just a matter of letting the rest of the world know what I have to offer.

Believe it or not, this process started less than twelve months ago. This time last year I had no ‘corporate identity’ and there was no company website or a blog. I didn’t own expensive equipment and I had no big shot agents ready to represent me. All I had was a bunch of excited neurons bouncing around in my brain.

Well, that’s not entirely true. I had a number of people who believed in me, and who were willing to lend me a very generous helping hand (Thank you Pam, Dick, Polly and Folkert!). But before they could believe in me, I had to believe in myself.

GETTING THERE
After less than a year I’m nowhere near where I want to be, and it would be arrogant to pretend otherwise. However, I am proud of what I have achieved so far.

This blog is read by more people than I ever hoped for; Internet Voice Coach just posted my first tutorial, and the award-winning Florida Realtor Magazine now features an article I wrote about voice-overs and virtual home tours.

I am recording voice-overs in four languages for clients on all continents, and I couldn’t be happier that I proved my skeptics wrong.

Now, this list of personal achievements is not  some vain attempt to show off. Rather, it’s my way of telling you what could happen if you refuse to give in to recession depression.

The skeptics will tell you “I will believe it when I see it”. I am telling you that you have to believe it before you will see it.

When Disney World opened its doors, Walt Disney was no longer alive. Before the opening ceremony, a reporter asked Walt’s brother Roy: “Don’t you think it’s a shame that Walt Disney isn’t here to see it all?” Roy answered:

“That’s not exactly true. Because Walt saw it, we are seeing it today!”

Paul Strikwerda © 2010
www.nethervoice.com

PS What are some of the empowering beliefs that help you deal with the recession? Share them in the comment box below!

PPS My next article is all about freelance dilemmas:  is it better to be a generalist or a specialist?

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