Double Dutch

It’s been a few months since Harlan Hogan came out with the VO: 1-A Microphone. Made by MXL, this is the first mic designed for voice-over performers by a voice-over professional.

When I first wrote about it in August, Harlan claimed that this mic  “will sound great on about 99% of the population”. That’s quite a statement, and as always, the proof of the pudding is in the eating.

So, what’s the verdict? Before we can answer that question, we have to ask ourselves a different one: What makes a good voice-over mic?

A good microphone is like the ideal partner. It has to be, because you’ll be spending a lot of time together (and usually in a cramped, dark space). Personally, I love my mic because it’s such a good listener. But as in any type of committed relationship, what works for me, might not work for someone else.

BANG & BUCKS
Just as it does not make sense for a budding violinists to get a Stradivarius, beginning voice-overs should get a decent mic that doesn’t break the bank. But simply because something is relatively inexpensive, doesn’t mean that it will only take you so far.

My wife is a professional flutist, and the instrument she’s playing is a true work of art. Her students often complain that they don’t sound so well, because they’re playing on an entry-level flute. It’s a common excuse for those who forgot the way to Carnegie Hall.

At that point, my wife will take the cheap flute out of their hands, and she starts playing the inferior instrument. You should see the eyeballs pop out of her student’s sockets and jaws drop to the floor, because she sounds better than Jimmy Galway. After that, no more excuses!

HOGAN’s SLOGAN
So, is the VO: 1-A “The Voice Over Microphone made for Voice Over Performers”?

George Whittam runs the well-respected ElDorado Recording Services. He gave the Harlan mic a spin,  along-side the venerable Neumann U87.

Mind you, the new Harlan mic costs $199. You can get the Neumann for about $2,700 on eBay. Is that even a fair comparison? George concludes:

“While the U87 has that smooth, almost dull top end in comparison, the VO: 1-A’s response is almost identical to my ear across nearly the entire frequency spectrum.  The VO: 1-A is slightly hyped at the top, but not overly so, and sounds very even and natural all the way down.”

We’re so impressed with VO-1a that we’ll begin bundling it in our “The Audition” package beginning in 2010.  Coupled with the MicPort Pro, the two work wonderfully together either as a budget home studio setup, or as a travel companion for the working voice actor. “

You can read the full review on George’s blog.

MY TWO CENTS
Unlike Mr. Whittam, I don’t have a Bachelor’s degree in Music and Audio Technology. Therefore,  it wouldn’t be appropriate for me to make some sort of a recommendation based on my knowledge of voice-over recording technology. I will tell you this.

By putting his name on this mic, Harlan put his reputation on the line. Based on his career, his writings and products like the Porta-Booth, Harlan’s got it down. If you’d ask  me, his voice-over mic is not a safe bet. It’s an excellent bet. Yet, there’s always a chance that it might not be the right mic for you. If that turns out to be the case, are you going to be stuck with it? Harlan Hogan:

“Every microphone will sound different on different voices but most retailers and manufacturers don’t allow you to try and return their microphones easily. I vowed we’d change that approach with the VO: 1- A and you can buy one, try one and return it with no questions asked – it only seems – and is – the right approach.”

Well, it turns out that Harlan was right on the money. His signature mic took the voice-over world by storm and it’s temporarily sold out. Click here if you wish to be contacted when the VO: 1-A becomes available again.  This link will also take you to a number of reviews and voice-samples.

PORTA-BOOTH
As for his famous Porta-Booth, Harlan’s new and improved version is finally in production. This is what the new Porta-Booth Pro looks like:

To me, it appears to be a cross between a bowling ball bag and a pet carrier. In fact, should you choose to take your cat to the vet in this contraption, the feline cries of anguish will be nicely muffled by the isolation  foam.

The new booth is $349.00 and the optional Porta-Stand is $100.00 and includes two adjustable shelves and a set of four hooks for headphones, etc. An angled (sheet music) holder is also available.

A  limited number of these babies sold out in March, and more are now available. They can be ordered from Harlan’s Booth-tique. Catnip not included.

Paul Strikwerda © 2010

www.nethervoice.com

PS For more Harlan Hogan factoids, read my article “What about Bob?“

PPS Although it’s pretty obvious that Mr. Hogan is one of my voice-over heroes, he has yet to pay me for promoting his products -and I’d like to keep it that way!

Mahmoud Taji is not only a Cairo-based Creative Director, he’s also a successful Arabic voice-over talent and blogger extraordinaire.

Taji recently relaunched his Voice Emporium, and on this site you will find thought-provoking articles, but also a very valuable Voice-over Directory of 231 casting websites and a Scam Alert for the Voice-over industry.

Taji is a man on a mission. A mission to create a monster. He writes:

“Let’s (for the sake of argument) say that you and I are partnering together on a business venture. We are going to build the perfect Voice Over Casting Site.

It’ll be a Pay-To-Play site… and it will be an amalgamation of the best parts of all the voice over casting websites that are on the market these days… so it’s a Frankenstein’s monster (remember Frankie was the doctor… his creation was the monster) consisting of the best from Voices.com, Voice123.com, VOplanet.com & Bodalgo.com.

What would it be like? What would it have?”

Of course I couldn’t resist the temptation. These are some of the elements my ideal Pay-to-Pay site would have:

• Organizational structure: a cooperative. The site is owned and partially run by its members. Every member pays a relatively small membership fee to cover operational and promotional costs.

• Decisions. Members have a huge say in how the site is run and who is running it. Every year, they receive a detailed account of the state of the cooperative. Members vote on major decisions and they monitor (and can vote on) the performance of the site manager. One person, one vote.

• Earnings: the site takes 10% of the earnings of each job. This money will pay for staff salaries. What’s left after deduction of operational costs, salaries and overhead, will flow right back to the members at the end of each year.

• Rates. The site and its members promote and practice fair trade: every project posted has a minimum budget based on industry averages (to be adjusted every year). That means that the minimum budget for an audio book will be higher than the minimum fee for a one page narration. No project shall be less than $250 and underbidding is unacceptable.

• Accountability. Every single project posted will be accounted for. Members will know when the job was awarded and for how much. Voice-seekers who find talent on this site, must book the talent through the site. Demos will no longer disappear into a black hole.

• Standards. In order to be eligible for membership, each prospective member has to agree to uphold and promote certain standards of ethical business practice and professional conduct.

• Quality. Before being accepted, members are screened to ensure that they meet minimum professional criteria in terms of vocal and technical delivery. Throughout the year, auditions are monitored to ensure that quality is maintained. The reputation of the site rests on quality; not on rock-bottom rates.

• Openness. Voice-seekers are expected to do business openly and honestly. They cannot hide their identity. This allows the voice-talent to conduct his/her own investigation into any and all claims made by prospective voice-seekers, agents and/or clients.

• Specificity. Without a clear map, it’s hard to reach a destination: voice-seekers must clearly and specifically define what type of voice-talent they are hoping to hire. They must clearly outline the terms of the contract, listing and limiting the use of the end-product.

• Auditions are open to any member; as long as this member fits the criteria for a particular project (see 8). This is left to the discretion of the talent.

• Payment. Talent will be paid 50% of the agreed rate after a contract is signed, and the remainder upon delivery of the audio file(s).

• Joint venture. Overall, this cooperative is characterized by quality, cooperation, transparency and accountability. It’s a place where professional talent is working with each other and for each other, rather than against each other.

Well, those are my two cents. I think Taji’s right. This ideal Voice-over casting site is probably going to be an intelligent version of Frankenstein’s monster; a patchwork of positive elements from existing Pay-to-Plays, combined with some brand new features. Is it a pipe dream? Not really. Revisit my article “What Pay-to-Plays don’t want you to know” . You’ll find out that this cooperative model is used to run one of Holland’s most successful multi-billion dollar businesses.

TALES FROM THE CRYPT
One thing’s for sure. This imaginary Voice-over casting site is going to be radically different from the current Dracula-model, where competing voice talents are sucking the life blood out of each other by low balling, undercutting and underbidding on bargain basement projects posted by cheap, anonymous voice-seekers.

Read my lips: eventually, only voice-over virgins will fall for this scheme, and this model will implode when it’s held up to the light, just like the illustrious Count from Transylvania.

If you’d like to join vampire-slayer Taji on his quest for the best Voice-over casting site, wake up out of your slumber; bring your cloves of garlic and have your say today!

Don’t be scared.

He’s not going to bite…

Paul Strikwerda © 2010

www.nethervoice.com

Today, I went to “La Scala” in Milan, the most famous opera house in the world. It took me half an hour to get there. Rossini’s “Il viaggio a Reims” was shown at the same theater as where I had seen James Cameron’s two dimensional 3-D monsterpiece “Avatar”. In case you missed it: it’s that hyped-up, masterfully marketed mix of cinemagic, eco-babble and Blue Man Group against Giovanni Ribisi.

LIPSTICK AND PORK
Now, every “Iron Chef” aficionado knows that great plating does not make a perfect dish. Put differently: lipstick on a pig doesn’t make the pork taste better… even if that lipstick happens to be a groundbreaking multi-million dollar special effect. As for leading man Sam Worthington’s acting…. it was so flat; I found myself longing for Leonardo DiCaprio. Believe me, in my world, that’s not a good thing.

So, today I opened Pandora’s Box and ended up in Milan. The story of opera in cinema is the story of a great medium reinventing itself. If people don’t come to the opera, the opera will come to the people. Some skeptics said it would be easier for Montagues and Capulets to get along, than for opera and cinema. But I believe that this love story will have a happy ending. As a matter of fact, so do most episodes of Gordon Ramsay’s “Kitchen Nightmares” (how’s that for a smooth transition to my last installment about this show?).

VOICE-OVER MAKEOVER
If your voice-over career could use a makeover, Gordon Ramsay might just be the man to model. You may not like his style or his methods, but his ability to turn ailing eateries around has earned him a reputation. It’s based on a few key ingredients: expertise, experience, gut-feeling and market research.

Ultimately, it boils down to this. Whether you run a restaurant or a voice-over emporium, you have to feed a need. You have to see yourself as the solution to a problem. You are the pleasure that relieves the pain. But before you present your remedy, it is your job to identify your client’s needs, problems and pains to make sure that you are the aspirin that can take their headache away.

THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL
One of the reasons why many so businesses fail, is because they’re trying very hard to be something they’re not, or they’re offering something nobody wants. A brush is not a comb, and it’s useless to try to sell a comb to a bald man. Bald men might need Rogaine or a rug.

Gioachino Rossini -who, by the way, was an outstanding cook- knew what his customers wanted and he gave it to them. When Italian opera went out of vogue, he turned to French librettos. No more pasta. Boeff Bourgignon instead! How did he know that Italian was out? Because he knew his market and he was flexible enough to adjust his sails. It made him a very rich man. And famously fat, too.

STREETSMART
Back to another culinary giant and to “Kitchen Nightmares”. At some point in every episode, Chef Ramsay leaves the acrimony of the kitchen behind and hits the street. His mission is threefold:

1. to find out what people really think of the restaurant he’s trying to rescue
2. to scope out the competition
3. to identify a hole in the market

Armed with that information, he starts devising a plan for the reinvention and re-launch of the business. Translated to our voice-over world that means:

1. get an honest assessment of your strengths and weaknesses from an independent expert. Pick a person who will tell you what needs to be said; not what you’re hoping to hear
2. go online and spend a few days listening to the good, the bad and the ugly in this industry. The ugly will teach you what not to do. The best will tell you what has shaped their career and how they are selling themselves
3. find out where you come in; what’s your unique selling point; your niche?

Then, ask yourself two things:

• “If I would be the answer, what would the question be?”
• “What do I need to do today to get to where I want to be tomorrow?”

PEOPLE PLEASERS
It’s easier said than done, but please avoid making the basic beginner’s mistake of trying to be everything to everyone. Even someone as talented as Robin Williams has his limitations.

CBS news didn’t hire Morgan Freeman because he sounded like James Earl Jones. We all know he doesn’t. Freeman followed in Cronkite’s footsteps because he sounds like Morgan Freeman.

This does not mean that you shouldn’t have a range. However, that range should come from a place of “being” instead of from a place of “pretending” (if that makes any sense to you).

NEW & IMPROVED
Once Ramsey presents the restaurant with a new identity, he takes a good look at all the resources he can muster. It’s a cliché, but change has to come from within, and in this case it starts with the kitchen.

If you’ve seen the show a few times, you know that this almost always involves training or re-training the staff. Most often, this means back to basics. Hand-made super sharp German blades aren’t going to make a difference if your knifing skills don’t cut it. In your hands, they’re probably dangerous.

I’m pretty sure the kind folks at Sweetwater will happily sell you this Manley Reference Cardioid microphone. But let me ask you this: if you were a budding singer, would a new mic make you sound significantly better, or would singing lessons be a wiser investment?

Instead of spending a small fortune on gear, why not spend your money on quality training before you do anything else? I have seen colleagues go under, not because they lacked talent, but because they had the wrong priorities.

BACKYARD
Next, Ramsay usually simplifies the menu, basing it on fresh ingredients grown in the area. He also makes a point of forging a relationship between the restaurant and the local (business) community. He often invites neighboring opinion-leaders to the table. Instead of waiting for customers to come in, he forces the staff to be pro-active and reach out to potential patrons on the street and offer them a sample of the new menu.

There are several obvious lessons to be learned:

1.   The success of your business is equivalent to the strength of your relationships.
2.    Your biggest market might be right under your nose.
3.    Make sure people know that you exist and know what you have to offer.
4.    Don’t sit around and wait for that phone to ring.

PRESENTATION
With a new identity comes a new look. Restaurant owners who tell you that people are only coming for the food and not for the decor, are like voice-overs who insist that it’s all about the way they sound. The thing is: if you are a professional, you have to come across as one.

If you don’t feel comfortable putting your headshot on your landing page, fine, but at least make sure your website is easy to find, easy to navigate and that it whets people’s appetite. There’s a reason why the interior and the exterior of each restaurant get a thorough makeover on “Kitchen Nightmares.” If you want to get the part, you need to look the part.

LAST COURSE
Like a scrumptious desert, there’s one observation I reserved for last. It’s perhaps the most revealing part of this whole series.

It occurred to me that Chef Ramsay never suggests the owner take on the competition by lowering the prices, unless the items on the original menu were ridiculously overpriced.

It’s always about carefully and passionately prepared quality food. It’s about setting and maintaining high standards. It’s about value for money.

You don’t turn a business around by giving in to the lowest common denominator.

Ramsay might tell an owner to be less pretentious and offer simpler fare reflecting the skill set, experience and imagination of the person preparing the food. But he knows that it is perfectly reasonable to sell a good product at a good price. In fact, most people are willing to pay more for an outstanding product. It’s yet another sign of professionalism that you know what you’re worth and that you’re not afraid to charge accordingly.

THE RIGHT RECIPES
As I was leaving the movie theater, a lot was going through my mind. Mostly music. In a way, Rossini’s lavish operatic productions were the equivalent of today’s cinematic blockbusters. His sopranos and tenors were the celebrities of their day and age. Everywhere, people were humming his arias. We still do.

Even if you don’t know anything about opera, I’m sure you can sing one of the melodies from Rossini’s “Wilhelm Tell”, better known as the theme from “the Lone Ranger”. And if you happen to be a foodie, you’ve probably heard of the famous “Tournedos Rossini”, a French steak dish named after the culinary composer. No special effects or 3-D glasses required. And meat lovers say it’s out of this world.

Take that, Mr. Titanic! And hats off to you, Mr. Ramsay!

Paul Strikwerda ©2010

www.nethervoice.com

“The success of your business is equivalent to the strength of your relationships.”

It almost sounds like a slogan from one of those inspirational posters, doesn’t it? You know… the ones with pictures of eagles soaring over pristine mountain peaks. You can find these pearls of wisdom on coffee mugs, calendars and on mouse pads.

Because some of these truths are so trivialized, we’ve become as immune to them as to the violence in video games or human suffering on the evening news. Instead, we prefer to talk about Couric, Cronkite and Freeman. We worry about “Lost” and the State of the Union, and about the fact that Palin’s getting even more airtime on FOX. And that’s the way it is.

METAPHOR
If you’ve read the first two installments of this series, “Voice Over Nightmares” and “Our Own Worst Critic”, you know that I’m using Gordon Ramsay’s TV-show “Kitchen Nightmares” as a metaphor. I’m trying to cut through the pre-orchestrated reality drama, in the hopes of uncovering recipes you and I can prepare to boost our business. Today, the focus is on relationships.

One of the biggest mistakes you can make as a freelancer, is believing that you are a one-man (or one woman)-band on an island in the midst of a shark-infested ocean. Although it sometimes might seem that way, you’re not all alone in the universe.

This business revolves around relationships: relationships with our clients; with our team; with our significant others and ultimately… the relationship we have with ourselves (or is that too woo-woo for you?). These inner and outer circles constantly connect and interact. Great relationships can motivate and energize us to do great things. Terrible relationships can suck the life blood out of us and our business.

GROUP EFFORT
Before you step up to the mic, think about how many people have already been involved in the project you’re about to work on: the end client and her team, the ad agency, the production company, script writers, animators, translators, your agent or the people at that Voices-site.

If you happen to record in a studio, you’ll probably work with a director and a sound engineer. And once the product is finished, the circle widens again as your voice reaches an audience. All of a sudden, your tiny island has become very crowded… There are a lot of people you need to please!

STRESS TEST
Whether he’s in the British Midlands or in the heart of Manhattan, Gordon Ramsay always encounters dysfunctional families and co-workers on the verge of a nervous breakdown. To get a good sense of the internal dynamics of a restaurant, he insists on observing how a team deals with the stress of a full service. It’s his chance to find out what really goes on underneath the veneer of polite pretentiousness.

Early in the night, Ramsay will notice three things: the chef/owner can’t communicate, can’t delegate and can’t even cook. Let’s start with the first problem: lack of communication.

DISHONESTY
Some owners won’t communicate because they have something to hide. Often, their mismanagement has resulted in a financial mess. Not even their spouse or partner knows how much in debt they are, and when these people finally find out, they feel betrayed, dismayed and ready to walk. That’s why “Kitchen Nightmares” frequently turns into a “Relationship Rescue”. Sometimes, team members can’t be trusted: an accountant cooks the books (a bad thing, especially in an eatery); a server helps himself to the register.

DISRESPECT
Some chefs are dictators. All they do is boss people around, complain and criticize. It’s always somebody else’s fault. Praise is a dirty word. Compliments are for the weak. A team has to listen and obey. And if you don’t like it, you are free to leave!

By taking the employees for granted, many owners lose the respect and trust of the very people they depend on, to turn their business around.

MIND READING
Then there are chefs and owners who believe that they’re an open book… you know what I mean by that, don’t you? They expect the world to read their mind, and if that world is not on the same page, guess who gets blamed? This type of behavior is based on unrealistic expectations that can never be met, and it’s a relationship killer (in and out of the kitchen).

TURNING IT AROUND
So, let’s look at the flipside. If a business wishes to survive and thrive, it needs to be built upon honesty, respect and openness. Be honest with yourself and dare to ask the hard questions: Do I really have what it takes? How much am I in the red? How many weeks before I have to pull the plug? What’s my plan B?

Secondly: who’s on your team? Can they handle the job or are they sabotaging your success? Have you taken the time to monitor and evaluate their performance?

A year ago, you made an investment in one of those voice-over websites. Since then, you auditioned like never before. Did the staff deliver? How many gigs did you get? What’s the ROI? Have you heard from your webmaster, lately? He promised to update your demos. What’s taking him so long? And what about your agent? Has she forgotten that you exist?

WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?
What would your team members have to say about you? Are you stressed, short-tempered and impatient because you’re feeling the heat? Are you willing to listen and are you ready to implement suggestions? When’s the last time you paid someone a sincere compliment? Did you let your partner know how much you appreciate the fact that he or she is there for you through thick and thin?

Now think about your clients. When’s the last time you reached out to all those smart people that have hired you in the past? Why did you neglect them? What could you do today, to reestablish the connection?

THE MENTALIST
When it comes to mind reading, I have news for you: most of us aren’t born with psychic powers. We spend a lifetime figuring out what goes on in our own head; let alone what goes on in the minds of others. All the same, we tend to forget the advice our favorite teacher once gave us:

“Never assume. Always ask.”

Seconds later, we run into the studio, script in hand, and we glance at the voice-seeker’s instructions: “Male or Female, English, enthusiastic but not over the top.” What’s that supposed to mean? How can you ever arrive at your destination when someone hands you vague directions?

Can you ask the client for specifics? I’m afraid you’re out of luck. The voice-seeker wishes to remain anonymous. So, how do you determine your take on the script? It’s simple: you use your imagination. In other words: you make it up based on what you think the client might be listening for. Two hours later, some stranger trashes your demo after the first ten seconds because it’s not really what he assumes his client wants. That was time well-spent, wasn’t it?

DELEGATION
Back in the middle of a Kitchen Nightmare, Gordon Ramsay is still observing service as he spots another basic mistake. Because there’s no trust or effective communication, the headstrong chef/owner thinks that that he must be in charge of… everything and everyone. He’s running from dessert to entrée while arguing with the front of the house.

Within ten minutes, he’s totally overwhelmed and most of his words need to be bleeped out. Hardly any food leaves the kitchen. A lot is coming back due to poor quality. Impatient patrons have had it and vow never to come back.

FREEDOM
I hope it’s not that extreme in your voice-over kitchen. Yet, I know it’s very tempting to believe that you can do it all by yourself. Becoming an “independent contractor” seemed to be the ideal way to escape the 9 to 5 rat race. It’s a dream come true: working from home; pursuing your passion and setting your own hours.

When you wake up, you suddenly realize that you are heading the sales department; you’re in charge of advertising and marketing; you’re designing your own website; you are the chief technician as well as the CFO. And let’s not overlook one insignificant detail: you deliver the goods!

This poor, overworked, idealistic, multi-talented genius is now working 15-hour days in the pursuit of happiness. Heaven forbid this superhuman being should get a cold…

FULL CIRCLE
Seriously, do you really need to do your own mixing and editing? Do you really have to master PhotoShop? Are you the best person to handle your finances and legal affairs?

Some people won’t delegate because they believe that “nobody does it better”. Others tell me they can’t afford any hired help. The end result? Tumbling productivity, deteriorating quality, messed-up relationships and a life that’s seriously out of balance.

Frustrated, angry and alone, you look at that magnificent poster on the wall; the one with the eagle soaring over pristine mountain peaks. Then you read the words written underneath.

All of a sudden, you realize that this familiar truism has surpassed the status of cliché. It has become relevant.

“The success of your business is equivalent to the strength of your relationships.”

It’s time to give that Ramsay-guy a call…

Paul Strikwerda © 2010

www.nethervoice.com

PS Less work, more competition, lower rates. Now what? Read the last installment in this series!

PPS Sign up for free Double Dutch updates. It saves time and you’ll never miss another article.

owner Justin, his girlfriend, best friend Ritchie and Gordon Ramsey

“WAKE UP YOU IDIOT! You’re about to lose your business, your best mate and your girlfriend. And you still don’t get it, do you?”

Gordon Ramsay was pulling out all the stops to talk some sense into the stubborn owner of the “Runaway Girl”.  The tapas bar in Sheffield was on the brink of collapse. In an effort to bring customers in, owner Justin Rowntree had sliced prices; served pre-cooked food out of plastic buckets and brought in live music. The result: runaway customers.

Instead of taking ownership, Justin refused to face the facts and dished out excuse after excuse. Unless he would start listening, his dream was doomed. But time was running out fast.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT
If you’ve watched “Kitchen Nightmares” on the BBC or FOX, scenes like these are a staple ingredient of every episode. It’s very easy to think of this show as another formulaic piece of mindless entertainment. However, there might be more to it than that, especially if you are not too happy with the current state of your business. How would you react if Gordon Ramsay gave you a firm kick in the pants? Would you take his words to heart, or would you fight him tooth and nail?

“I’m always surprised at the reluctance of failing business owners to listen to Ramsay’s advice. I’m sure much of it is in the TV production, but it still seems silly,” commented one of the viewers online, after watching this season’s premiere. Well, what do you think? Is it all silliness, or are we witnessing the results of arrogance, denial and an innate inaptitude to self-evaluate?

MIRROR, MIRROR
I talked about denial  in my first installment, and today I’ll turn to our ability to look into the mirror and objectively assess our own behavior. But, is that even possible? Can we be brutally honest with ourselves? Should we even trust our own judgment?

First of all, it’s not something we can easily shut off (unless we’re masters of meditation). We’re constantly making judgment calls. Our business has developed in such a way that voice-seekers aren’t willing to pay for a director or a sound-engineer anymore. Instead, we end up directing, recording and editing ourselves. Not everyone is good at that. I’m willing to go even further: most of us stink at it because we can’t objectively listen to our own performance.

Thanks to years of conditioning, you and I suffer from selective memory, selective hearing, selective eyesight and selective reasoning. This commonly leads to ‘confirmation bias,’ a tendency to validate and reinforce our personal prejudices, regardless of the evidence. Studies have shown that, even if these beliefs are debunked, the discredited proof is filtered out as “irrelevant,” and we keep on clinging to our distorted version or reality. And if you strongly believe that this theory is utter hogwash, I have to thank you for proving my point.

FROM MY KITCHEN
A few weeks ago, I knew for sure that I had nailed an audition. There was nothing I could have done to make it any better. I proudly submitted my flawless demo, and I thought it was just a matter of time before the voice-seeker would call me saying: “You blew me away. No need to re-record it. We’ll use your MP3 as is. It’s brilliant.” Of course I never heard back from the producer, and I was convinced that he had made the biggest mistake of his career.

After the holidays I decided to listen to my masterpiece again, this time with fresh ears and a clear mind. You guessed it: in 2010, my ‘perfect’ audition didn’t sound so good after all. I should have known. There is a reason why writers don’t review their own books.

A DIFFERENT ANGLE
When I first started in television, I once got a call from a very angry cameraman. He had volunteered to climb to the top of a very tall tower to get ‘the perfect shot’ for a documentary we were working on. When he came down, he was perspiring profusely and it looked like he was about to collapse. “This is pure gold,” he said, catching his breath, as he proudly handed me the rushes.

Having watched the end result on TV, my camera guy was not amused. In fact, he was livid and demanded an explanation: “I climbed over 500 *** steps to get you a picture from that angle, and you decided to cut it out! Is that your way of thanking me?!” When he had calmed down a bit, I said to him: “I really appreciate you climbing to the top to get those shots. But when we looked at the footage in the editing room, it just didn’t work and we decided to use a close-up instead. You and I both know how much it took for you to get those shots. Ultimately, the public doesn’t care how many steps you had to climb. All they’re interested in is the big picture.”

I believe that we are our own worst critics. Usually, we’re too involved and too invested in our own efforts to see and hear what others are seeing and hearing. That’s why every translator needs a proofreader; every athlete needs a coach and every cameraman needs an editor. These professionals shouldn’t have to worry about hurting our feelings or massaging our ego. With the odd exception, I believe it’s best that these pros are outsiders with inside expertise. That’s the only way they can have any leverage at all.

ANYTHING YOU CAN DO…
Meanwhile, the days of the “Runaway Girl” seemed numbered, even though a knowledgeable outsider was brought in to save the business from going bust. Chef Gordon Ramsay had to overcome yet another obstacle that had nothing to do with the quality of the food, the location of the restaurant or the atmosphere inside. Once again, it all came back to the headstrong owner who suffered from “premature closure”.

Premature closure is a term sometimes associated with cognitive diagnostic medical errors. It’s a tendency to stop considering other possible diagnoses after a diagnosis is reached. The idea behind it is that humans solve problems by searching for an explanation that best fits, and then they stop searching. Coupled with confirmation bias, premature closure can be a fatal mix in any hospital or court room.

BLOCKING INPUT
In education, students who suffer from “premature closure” are commonly referred to as “know-it-alls”. They seem easily distracted; they rarely pay attention; their questions aren’t really questions but attempts to show-off how much they know about the subject. People who think they know better have no incentive to listen and learn. Justin Rowntree was their poster child. Ramsay appeared to be talking to a wall.

I’m not saying that it’s wrong to be well-informed. I am suggesting that it’s even better to keep the door open and to realize that there’s always more to discover. Albert Einstein put it this way: “The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education.” He also understood that knowledge in and of itself is useless unless applied in a sensible way.

CRISIS
There are at least two ways to break through these attitudes and patterns: the long road and a shortcut. The long road is based on the answer to the following question: “How do you eat an elephant?” Answer: “In very small bites”. In other words, change is created through a gradual process of small, manageable steps. Most therapies are based on that model.

However, the fastest way to bring about change is through a Significant Emotional Event. A crisis. For years, the staff at the “Runaway Girl” had told the owner that he needed to make major changes. But it wasn’t until Ramsay came in, that the desperate situation reached a boiling point and the pressure became unbearable. Something had to give…

Paul Strikwerda © 2010
www.nethervoice.com

PS Next time, we’ll take a look at the importance of relationships. Are you a one-man band on an island, or are you part of a huge network of professionals? Could you and should you run your business all by yourself?

PPS Did you subscribe to Double Dutch yet?

If you’re a quitter, don’t waste your time reading this article. If you don’t want to grow your business, move on to another blog. If you’re afraid to face the facts, by all means: keep your head buried in the sand. And if you think you know better… good for you. Now, PROVE IT!

“Harsh words to start off the New Year, Mr. Strikwerda,” my inner voice whispered. “For a moment, you sounded like that annoying English chef from ‘Hell’s Kitchen’. Why be so confrontational? 2010 has barely started. Why not write a nice poetic piece about splendid resolutions, good intentions, high hopes, big dreams and snowflakes? That should go down well at the start of the New Year. Cut your readers some slack!”

CREATURES OF HABIT
A 2007 survey of over 3,000 people conducted by psychologist Richard Wiseman led to one conclusion: 88% of all resolutions end in failure. Why?

1. People are stubbornly set in their old ways
2. People lack willpower and self-control

In my experience, good intentions are just as effective as wishful thinking, and are as lame as the word ‘try’. Hopes and dreams usually get stranded on a beach named “One day….” And if we are to believe behavioral psychologists, most of us will do more to avoid pain than to experience pleasure. In other words: you and I will put more effort into running away from the things we don’t want, than in moving toward the things we desire. [Provided we even know what we want. When asked, most people can tell you exactly what they don’t want: “I want to stop smoking. I don’t want to be overweight.” We tell our kids: "Don't touch that!" And what's the first thing they do?]

Making changes can be a painful process. If you’ve ever watched the show “Kitchen Nightmares”, you know exactly what I mean. Even if you’re not a fan of reality TV, and even if you can’t stand Gordon Ramsay (the foul-mouthed British chef who turns failing restaurants around), I’d like you to consider the following: is there something you and I could learn from this show and apply to our own business?

ANNUS HORRIBILIS
Let’s be honest: for many of us, 2009 hasn’t been the best year on record. I know that some of you are seriously thinking of giving up. Others are still wondering what went wrong. But even if the past year wasn’t too bad, you want your business to grow and do even better, don’t you? So, if quitting is not an option, how can you overcome your challenges, and make this year the best one ever?

Problems are never solved at the level they were created, and that’s why I find it very helpful to look outside of my own field. Success does leave clues, and you don’t need to be a CSI-specialist to find them. That’s why I’d like to take you inside ‘Kitchen Nightmares’, and identify some of the ingredients of failure and success that may very well help us turn our businesses around.

STRATEGY FOR CHANGE
From a therapeutic point of view, Gordon Ramsay’s show follows a classic approach for bringing about change. There are three stages in this strategy:

1.    PRESENT STATE (a.k.a. problem state)
2.    RESOURCES
3.    OUTCOME STATE (a.k.a. resolution state)

Chef Gordon Ramsey

“Kitchen Nightmares” starts off by showing us why and how a restaurant is failing (present state). Then, top-chef Ramsay comes to the rescue, offering his experience and expertise (resources). Following his advice, changes are put into place and the restaurant has a successful re-launch (outcome state). A few months later, Ramsay returns to the scene of the crime to find out how the restaurant is doing.

Okay, let’s rewind. If you’ve watched “Kitchen Nightmares” a couple of times, you must have noticed a common theme: Businesses don’t fail. People fail. People are the biggest asset and the biggest obstacle. If you wish to turn a business around, you must turn the people around. Now, why is that easier said than done? Here are a few clues.

DENIAL
Once upon a time, all owners had a dream: to run a restaurant. Lack of culinary skills and the absence of business acumen did not stop them. Years later, their beloved business is one bill away from bankruptcy. Strangers can smell the smoke from a distance, but the owner pretends that there’s no fire. Denial is one of the biggest stumbling blocks on the road to transformation. Why make changes if you don’t believe something’s wrong? Ask anyone who’s ever been in therapy.

photo TVGuide.com

CONFRONTATION
In the next scene, Gordon Ramsay enters the restaurant. He usually orders the signature dish. Fans of the show already know the food is going to look terrible and will taste even worse. As Ramsay tries to describe his disgusting dining experience, some of his words have to be bleeped out. Leaving most of the meal on the plate, he storms into the kitchen where the chef/owner is obliviously bragging about the menu.

“Bloody Bleep! That’s probably the worst *** I’ve ever tasted,” says Ramsay. “Are you out of your mind? You could have killed me with that raw fish. How dare you serve that load of ***?”

Instead of taking this as a wake-up call, most chefs are as shocked as they are in denial. They get the food back, but can’t take the feedback. Instead, most respond by putting up a wall of DEFENSIVENESS and BLAME. They’ll say things like: “I’ve never heard anyone complain about the fish. It’s bought in. All I do is heat it up. Besides, who do you think you are to criticize me? The ‘great’ Gordon Ramsay? Give me a break!”

As tempers flare, the camera captures close-ups of tired sous-chefs, worn-down waitstaff and desperate significant others. The same words are written on their faces: “We’ve tried to tell him many times, but he just won’t listen. He always knows best.”

TIME-OUT
Let’s leave the show for a minute or two, and talk about your business. At one point in your life you had a dream. What happened to it? I’m sure you’ve invested a lot in professional demos; you use the right gear; you did tons of auditions; you have an online presence and we can find your innermost thoughts on Twitter, Facebook and LinkedIn. But did it get you anywhere? Have you made any money lately? Did you break even? Do you even know how much you’d need to make in order to do that? Or do you happen to run a non-profit the IRS considers to be a hobby?

Listen, this is not rocket science. If you feel lost, the first thing you need to do is admit it. Don’t be like the typical guy who drives around in circles because he won’t concede that he has no idea where he is. Instead, you have to determine where you are and how you got there. Only then can you start thinking of where you want to be and what path to follow. Better still: step out of your box and ask for directions! Preferably, ask someone who knows the area; listen carefully and make notes.

When asking an expert, I suggest you get down to specifics. Sure, you want things to be ‘better’, but compared to what? Do you want to make more money? Who doesn’t? Most motivational speakers would give you a nickel and tell you: “See, you just made more money!” You probably want to make more than you’re making right now, but how are you going to determine that, if you don’t know how much you need to earn? You have to be as detailed as you can. Vague ideas lead to vague results. The only people ever to make money off vague ideas were impressionist painters. But by the time their paintings were worth millions, they were long gone.

MORE TO COME
This was just the first course.  In the next installment, we’ll continue our Kitchen Nightmare, and I will tell you about creating a wholesome crisis, as well as the devastating effect of ‘premature closure’. And no…. this has nothing to do with shutting your business down too early. Bon apetit!

Paul Strikwerda © 2010

www.nethervoice.com

PS Start the year the right way and subscribe to Double Dutch! Click here, or the “subscribe-button” on the right, or the RSS logo on top. That way, you’ll never miss another blog post!

PPS did you check out Taji’s new-and-improved Voice Emporium yet?