Double Dutch

The Dutch have weird ways of expressing themselves. A popular proverb from this farm-filled flatland goes like this:

“You never know how a cow could catch a rabbit”

It sounds better in Dutch: “Je weet maar nooit hoe een koe een haas vangt”.

Any idea what it means?

It’s a Netherlandish way of saying:

Never rule things out, no matter how unlikely they may seem.

If you’re a linear and logical thinker, you probably have a hard time accepting this ancient wisdom. Your ideal world is one of conventional cause and effect. This principle is epitomized by a fast food philosophy that caters to people who prefer to play things safe. No matter where you go, a Big Mac always tastes like a Big Mac. It might be boring, but at least it’s predictable (as is the indigestion after the fact).

SURPRISE
No matter how much we attempt to rationalize and organize this chaos called we prefer to call ‘our life,’ it responds by presenting us with unexpected surprises.

To sports fans these unforeseen phenomena are known as curveballs; Mickey Rourke calls it his 2009 Oscar nomination. Voice-over artists fondly refer to these unlikely events as “winning auditions”.

You know what? I can do even better than that!

Not so long ago, I sent in a demo for a very corporate, very unexciting training program on ethical behavior in the work place. It was one of those things that everybody has to watch and nobody pays any attention to. Anyway, somehow the director thought I’d be a perfect fit for the part of ‘Euro-sleezeball,’ and two days later I walked into his studio. Before I could say anything, a Carmindy wannabe escorted me to a make-up chair, and started powdering my nose.

A SHOCKER
“There’s my Dutchman” said the director as he spotted me. “Shouldn’t you be wearing your clogs?”

The entire crew started laughing as if someone had said something funny. “We’re shooting in five”.

“Shooting what?” I asked. “I’m here for the voice-over. And why is someone putting Max Factor all over my face?”

“What voice-over?” asked the pseudo-Spielberg. “I don’t need no voice-over. You’re gonna be on camera. Didn’t you see the contract… the one that has the word ‘sleezeball’ in it?”

More laughter from the set.

“But I haven’t memorized anything” I replied. “What do I do?”

“Don’t worry” said the director. “Just be yourself”.

The facts were these… every time I send out an email, Outlook automatically includes a mini version of my headshot. The casting director had seen my message, and thought that I had ‘the look,’ and he assigned me an on-camera part. And that’s how this cow caught his rabbit!

With a little improv and my best Richard Widmark impression,  I think it went okay. When the check came in the mail, I found out that the rabbit had been a fat one indeed.

So, what can we learn from this? What’s the take-away?

First of all, that it does not hurt to include your headshot, even if your voice is your instrument of choice.

BRANDING
I can’t tell you how many times folks just like yourself have said to me:

“I’m not putting my headshot in my profile. No way! People aren’t gonna hire me for my looks but for my voice.”

Well, I won’t argue with you. Even though it’s not in the Constitution, we have the right to remain invisible. But should you decide to grace us with your face, here are a few tips:

Many times, voice-seekers will see your picture before they listen to your demo. What does the quality of that picture reveal about your level of professionalism?

Some talents go for the “funny vintage look” and delve into their photographic memory. Seriously think about what this overexposed ten year old Polaroid actually conveys. And is that truly how you want the world to see you?

WYSIWYG
Whether we like it or not, people make a snap judgment based on first impressions. It happens in the court room, it happens on Match.com and it happens on voice-over websites. This has nothing to do with logic. In an ideal world looks shouldn’t even matter, and yet plastic surgeons make a fortune and Botox has conquered the world.

Many of us unconsciously subscribe to the motto: “What you see is what you get.” To put it bluntly: amateur picture equals amateur talent.

Ultimately, your headshot should reflect the message you want to send out to the world.

I’ve seen pictures of colleagues staring at the camera with the look of a frightened dear in the headlights. Next to the photo was a description of their voice: “authoritative, confident and credible”.

Another photo showed an unshaven guy in a sleeveless T-shirt and a reverse baseball cap. His voice qualities: “sophisticated, smooth and smart”.

Need I say more? I think you get the picture.

YOUR BEST SHOT
You don’t have to be a supermodel to look like a pro. The ideal headshot should show the best side of the Real You. It should ‘capture your essence’. The worst thing people could tell you is this:

“It’s a nice picture but it doesn’t really look like you”.

So, if you never wear tons of make-up, don’t start face-painting before your photo shoot. If you normally wear glasses, keep them on. Minimize distractions like big ear rings and other jewelry (especially male talents!). Pick a neutral background. Never use bodyshots. It’s called a headshot for a reason.

A headshot is all about YOU. Here’s a subtle hint: your ex should not be in it!

Don’t be tempted to use that great shot taken when you were hanging out with your best friend in a local bar. A headshot is taken in a professional context and does not feature hard liquor.

And finally, leave it to a pro to take and pick the best shot; NEVER to friends or family. They can’t see you the way others see you.

That’s why they still love you…

Speaking of pros… if the cost of a photo shoot is keeping you from getting a headshot, this might be the ideal opportunity for barter. Photographers care about their image too. Many of them could use a professional voice on their answering machine. Perhaps they’re willing to trade. After all…

You never know how a cow could catch a rabbit!

Paul Strikwerda © 2009

www.nethervoice.com