Mess up your demos!

Pirate BayDon’t ever think it won’t happen to you. I guarantee you it will, and when it does, it will leave a bitter taste in your mouth.

A few years ago, a colleague of mine got a disturbing phone call. It was an old friend from high school:

“I didn’t know you were in the voice-over business” he said.

“I was listening to our latest promo at work, and I said to myself: I know that voice. And it finally dawned on me: it was you. Great job, man. You’re really good at what you do.”

THE SCAM
“Where exactly do you work?” my colleague asked, quite puzzled. It turned out to be some unknown up-and-coming ad agency. “That’s strange… it doesn’t ring a bell for me, and I practically have a photographic memory for every job I’ve ever done”, my colleague said. A day later, when going through a list of past auditions, he found the answer.

About a month ago, he had sent in a demo for an ad agency through one of the voice-over sites, and never heard anything back. Until now.

Under normal circumstances people might say: You win some, you lose some. Isn’t that part of this business? That might be true, but there’s only one word for these despicable practices: THEFT! And my colleague allowed it to happen.

Everybody knows not to walk around with your wallet sticking out of your purse. It’s an open invitation to pickpockets. But when it comes to our demos, some of us are doing just that. Perhaps I should repeat the advice my biology teacher once gave us, while covering a certain subject: use protection!

You have two options to prevent shady producers from running off with your audio file: watermarking and -my personal favorite- messing things up.

DISTURBING SIGNALS
You’ve probably seen watermarks on pictures, rendering them practically unusable. The same can be done for audio files. Some recording software has this effect built in. Your demo will either have some weird buzz in the background, or some noise under part of your read.

You can also buy separate watermarking software or… produce the sound effects yourself! Imagine smashing up a couple of plates while recording your demo for that Greek restaurant commercial… Of course this can become quite distracting, and if I were you, I would want people to pay attention to my brilliant performance, and not to some nasty tone or the sound of breaking china. This brings me to option two, which is even more creative.

I usually twist a few things in the copy. I recently did an IVR (interactive voice response)-demo, and I purposely changed the numbers a little bit:

“for sales, press five hundred and sixty six, for customer service, go to our competitor”.

I believe I also said:

“If you don’t know your party’s extension, please dial it now”.

For some of you that might be stretching it. Alternatively, you can also leave out a word here and there, but whichever method you prefer, be sure to let the voice-seeker know that you did this on purpose. Otherwise they might think that you recently escaped from a SaVoa Clinic for frustrated voice-actors (Society for aimless Voice-overs anonymous).

TAKE IT TO COURT
Eventually, my colleague called the agency that ran away with his demo. Much to his surprise, they immediately admitted using his audition.

“We used it to have the team listen to the type of voice we were NOT looking for”, they said.

“This was for internal purposes only”.

Some ad agencies take the art of spinning to a whole new level!

My colleague also called a lawyer to find out if he had a case. After all, what had happened was an infringement of copyright. Here’s the good news: the lawyer was up for it. The bad news: his retainer was more than what my voice-over colleague had made in six months.

Sometimes it’s better to count your losses and smash up a couple of plates.

Paul Strikwerda © 2009
www.nethervoice.com

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Money, Money, Money

money They had a saying at the bank I once worked for as a trainer:

“If it’s about money, it’s never funny”

Ain’t that the truth! To that I added my own saying:

“Show me your bank account, and I’ll tell you how you lead your life”

Bankers and accountants probably know more about you than your therapist. By the way you spend your money, they can tell whether or not you lead a healthy lifestyle, if you’re a good planner and even if you can resist instant gratification.

On blogs and networking sites, money is a recurrent theme. People want to know how much to charge; whether or not they should spend  $300 on a membership of a particular site, and if it’s OK to discount some services… the list is endless.

Recently, I found myself caught up in a discussion about on-line freelance job sites like Elance. These sites offer an opportunity to connect with prospective employers from all over the world, and find projects that are not listed on the familiar voice-over casting sites.

However, when I looked at the average bids some of our colleagues put in to get voice-over work, I was stunned. If you think that doing a job for $100 is stretching it, wait until you check out sites like Odesk.com. Your jaw will drop to your knees. And that’s not a good thing if you’re in the voice-over business.  

HARD TIMES
Some people are justifying this downward trend by pointing at the current recession. This is what they will tell you:

“We’re all suffering. We all have to tighten our belts and do more with less. The only way to still get work is to lower our fees. The economy is going down and our rates have to follow suit.”

I’m not buying it! Are you? ambulance As I was paying a stack of medical bills, I had a realization. Do our doctors lower their rates because we’re in a recession? Would a nurse take care of us at half price? Is a baker going to charge less for his loaf of bread, or would a plumber be willing to show up and take a 40% pay cut? No way.

If anything, their fees increase every year to keep up with the rate of inflation. Then why do some of us feel the need to put themselves up for grabs in the bargain basement?

Remember: once you’re in there, it’s so hard to climb out. Recession or no recession, if you subscribe to the notion that you often get what you pay for, why are you selling yourself and your colleagues short? What are you afraid of?  A certain two-letter word?

THE HARDEST WORD
Top negotiator William Ury wrote a book called “The power of a positive No”. For some of us, that powerful word is one of the hardest in the language. But when we’re saying “No”, we’re asserting ourselves and we’re affirming our boundaries, whether it’s in an intimate relationship or in a business relationship.

Being an independent contractor means that we have to have a good sense of what we’re worth. We have to have the guts to stand up for ourselves (and each other), and say “No” when faced with a bad deal. If we don’t, people will inevitably take advantage of us.

Let me rephrase that: if we don’t dare to say “No”, we are allowing others to take advantage of us. Or, as Dr. Phil puts it: we teach people how to treat us. Wedding

HERE COMES THE BRIDE
Did you know that I’m also a non-denominational wedding officiant? I basically set my own fees. Every now and then a young engaged couple tells me that they’re on a shoestring budget, and they’re practically begging me to lower my rate.

In the beginning -when I didn’t know any better- I fell for it big time. I wanted to be liked and I felt sorry for the couple as I remembered the times I had to nickel and dime. Guess what… I paid for my lack of backbone, until I had learned my lesson.

First of all, these couples turned out to be the most demanding couples I had ever worked with. I’d give them a finger and they would ask for the entire hand. I’m all for underpromising and overdelivering, but within reason. If you’ve seen some of the Bridezilla shows, you know that not every princess is as sweet as her Daddy believes her to be.

Secondly, these ‘shoestring weddings’ often turn out to be the most lavish events I’d ever be invited to. Apparently, other vendors had not fallen for the couple’s story of woe. These days, I encourage my brides to be, to price officiants out. I also tell them that low fees are often a red flag. It either means that an officiant is just starting out, or that he or she might not be able to offer as many services. I tell my couples: Don’t expect a gourmet meal at a fast-food price.

When I started to put my foot down, something amazing happened: as soon as I decided to charge a fair fee, people started taking me seriously. Sure, I lost a few weddings due to price, but my limited time on earth is too valuable to have to deal with haggling Bridezillas.  warren-buffet

THE SECRET TO MAKING BILLIONS
William Ury recalls a breakfast he once had with Warren Buffet, one of the most successful investors ever. Ury writes: “He confided in me that the secret to creating his fortune lay in his ability to say No.” Buffet said:

“I sit there all day and look at investment proposals. I say No, No, No, No, No, No -until I see one that is exactly what I am looking for. And then I say Yes. All I have to do is say Yes a few times in my life and I’ve made my fortune.”

So, let’s learn from Buffet and promise each other to teach our clients how to treat us. Say “No” to rates that insult your unique talent, your professionalism, your intelligence and your experience.

Economists tell us that the only way to get out of this recession is to start spending again. If anything, we should start making more, not less. You can bank on that!

Paul Strikwerda © 2009

www.nethervoice.com

PS There’s much more on “the power of NO ” in this article!

HERE COMES THE BRIDE
Some of you

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The genuine article, or the Dutch-Flemish controversy

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No, I won’t name any names, but I was quite shocked by what I found out, recently. Let me ask you a question instead.

Do you know the difference between Flemish and Dutch?

I’m not asking for an exposé on historical linguistics, but say you’re in need of a cheesy Dutch voice for your imitation Gouda commercial. You decide to check out a number of voice-over sites in the hopes of finding the perfect Hollander.

Be honest: would you be able to tell from the demo whether you’re listening to a voice-over talent from Flanders (Belgium) or from The Netherlands? After all, both speak Dutch. Of course I’m assuming you’re not from either one of those countries.

If the answer is “No”, don’t be embarrassed. I discovered that a number of internet voice-over providers don’t seem to know the difference either. What’s even worse: they don’t seem to care. After a random and by no means scientific search, I found numerous colleagues listed under Dutch talent, who were in fact Flemish speakers.

Nothing against my friends from beautiful Belgium, but that’s like listing a North-American under Australian talent, or mistaking a Brazilian for someone from Portugal. Now, most people can tell a Yankee from a Brit. But would you be able to differentiate between a Frenchman and a Québécois, or tell a Swiss actor from an Austrian bodybuilder? And if you can’t, don’t you expect a voice-over site to know the difference between cheese and cheez whiz? Just because something smells like cheese, doesn’t mean that it is cheese.

AMAZING RACE
Not so long ago, my daughter’s school held an international event modeled after the reality show “The Amazing Race”. Different classrooms had been turned into different countries, and volunteer-parents from various parts of the world dressed up in their national costume, served local treats and were asked to speak their mother tongue. Picture me, wearing clogs, waving our red-white-and-blue flag, surrounded by posters of windmills and tulips…

The first thing the contestants had to do was identify the country they had just entered, based on all the ‘subtle’ clues. In order to get full marks, they also had to locate that country on a globe. At this point I should tell you that the teams were made up of children and their parents. So, how well do you think most of them did? Keep in mind that all of this took place in an average elementary school in Pennsylvania.

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Well, as soon as I opened my Dutch mouth, some kids looked at their parents and said: “That man sounds very weird, why can’t he speak English?” There and then I realized that many of them had never been exposed to anything else but (American) English and perhaps some Spanish.

One dad thought he had figured me out. “I recognize that accent”, he said with a proud smile on his face. “I was stationed at the Ramstein Air Base for years. You must be from Germany.”

“Not quite”, I said. “My country and Germany are neighbors.” “Oh, now I get it”, said the Dad. “You’re from Sweden! That’s why you are wearing those clogs.”

Some were less clueless, though. As soon as they had spotted the windmills, they shouted: “This must be Holland”. “Well-done”, I said. “Now let’s see if you can find my country on the globe.”

Granted, my homeland is not the easiest to spot because it’s so small. So I thought I’d help the teams a bit by revealing that Holland is part of Europe, counting on the fact that people would certainly know where to find Europe. Wrong! ”

You told us Holland is next to Germany”, said the airman. “I must be blind because I don’t see it.” Then his wife interjected: “Here it is, honey. Right next to Belgium.” “But it says The Netherlands”, the husband answered, “We are looking for Holland…..”

THANKS BUT NO THANKS
Based on my quick survey, some voice-over sites aren’t doing much better than the average American parent. I’m not the type of person that enjoys complaining about things without ever doing something about it. So, I emailed the companies in question, and I respectfully pointed out that the voice-over talent they had listed as Dutch, was actually from Flanders. The result? Seven out of ten websites ignored my helping hand and never even bothered to respond.

When I checked in a week later, their talent listing was unchanged. One site did respond, informing me that they had spoken with their pseudo-Dutchman, and that he denied all charges. The last two sites thanked me profusely for my feedback, and within a matter of hours they had corrected their listing.

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VOICE-OVERSIGHT
To a certain extent, ignorance might be excused, but there’s no justification for being unprofessional and misleading.

If I put ‘Champagne’ on a bottle of bubbly from Chile, chances are that I end up in a French court of law. Similarly, I can’t put the name ‘Gouda’ on cheese made in Michigan.

A voice-over site should have some oversight to ensure that if we request a native Dutch speaker for our commercial, we end up with someone from The Netherlands, and not with some faker from Flanders.

One last thing. The other day, a New York-based agency asked me for a Dutch demo. It might take a few days before you hear back from us, they said. We noticed that you’ve been living in the States for quite a while, and we just want to make sure that your Dutch is still accent-free.

That’s why they sent my sample to that small country next to Germany, and had an expert listen to it. A few days later it came back with a seal of approval. Now, that kind of professionalism puts a big smile on my face. And I don’t even have to say “Cheese”!

Paul Strikwerda © 2009

www.nethervoice.com

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