That’s how I would paraphrase a well-known Dutch proverb.
I had to remind myself of that saying quite a few times last week, after publishing a critical blog post on podcasting.
Last time I checked, over 2,500 people read it, and many felt the urge to respond. Here’s what some of the fans had to say:
“I LIKED the article specifically because it addressed many of my pet peeves (long intros, crappy audio, self-aggrandizing hosts).”
“Your story basically said: “Try harder, and don’t put out sh*t.” To which I wholeheartedly agree.”
“This article is SPOT ON. And the industry is suffering because most podcasters are not paying attention to opinions like the one expressed there.”
“I’m going to print this out and remind myself to read it once a week for a month. FANTASTIC! I couldn’t agree more!”
But not everyone was as pleased with what I had written:
“The central point of this article is pretty ridiculous, and contains a very “get-off-my-lawn” sentiment that I believe is incredibly harmful to the industry of podcasting.”
“I think people need to step off of their high horses.”
“Wow this is insulting. Was this written by a radio dj threatened by podcasts?”
“The author, hilariously enough, made his article about himself by injecting snide attempts at humor.”
“New podcasters don’t deserve to be mocked or shunned.”
These reactions were pretty innocent, compared to what a few others shared with me after I had published my story.
UNLEASH THE BULLIES
Some angry, resentful readers told me to “stick it where the sun don’t shine.” They accused me of being an arrogant son of a gun, who should just go and “F” himself. One person suggested that I go back to the Netherlands, if I didn’t like what I heard over here (as if podcasts stop at the border…).
I’ve gotten some nasty comments before, even from my own voice-over community, but this podcasting piece seemed to have hit a raw nerve.
One thing separated the more graphic commentators from the rest. The vitriolic ones responded anonymously. Quite a few used an online identity like fartface5 or bigwillywonderman.
That’s not surprising.
Last year, assistant professor Arthur Santana of the University of Houston found that 53.3 percent of anonymous online comments included language that was vulgar, racist, profane or hateful. Only 28.7 percent of non-anonymous comments were found to be uncivil.
This is often attributed to the online disinhibition effect. It’s the idea that people’s inhibitions drop when their identity is hidden, and their actions have no visible consequences.
In the days before the Internet, when someone spoke in public, the audience would be able to see who was talking, and they could hold that person accountable, right there and then. In the virtual world we live in that’s not always possible.
Some people believe that because they’re invisible online, they are safe, and they can say whatever they want. There are no authority figures to stop them. Free speech is free speech, right? Besides, they weren’t even serious. It was just a joke. The online world isn’t “real life.”
Well, tell that to the victims of cyberbullying, and their friends and families! I think they have a different story for you. Personally, I’ve never believed the children’s rhyme:
“Sticks and stones will break my bones
But words will never harm me.”
Words can have a profound effect on someone, in a very positive, and in a very negative way. I know people who haven’t spoken to one another for twenty years because of words that were exchanged. I know people who are comforted and uplifted by words of love and encouragement.
Words can heal, and words can hurt.
Words can be wonderful, and they can be used as weapons.
There are these sick individuals who find joy in publicly humiliating others in a most vicious and obscene way, using no more than 140 characters.
Perhaps you’ve read about retired baseball great Curt Schilling. After his daughter Gabby became the target of relentless Twitter trolls, he decided to go after them, and expose their identities. Within an hour and a half, Schilling found nine of them.
One troll was a student at Brookdale Community College in central New Jersey. He was suspended from school. Another turned out to be a vice president of the Theta Xi fraternity at Montclair State University in northern New Jersey. He lost his part-time job selling tickets for the Yankees.
The message was clear: Nobody should have to put up with trolls and other cyberbullies. There are serious consequences for this type of behavior. Just because we cherish and celebrate free speech in this country, doesn’t mean that anything goes.
What was said to me after last week’s blog post wasn’t nearly as vulgar as what Gabby Schilling had to endure, but I was thoroughly disgusted. I am not going to expose the culprits, but I am going to do something else.
From now on I will no longer accept anonymous comments, or comments by people using a fictitious online identity.
On this blog I want people to own up to what they’re saying, and not hide behind a made up character. Comments that are rude and disrespectful will be deleted immediately.
This is my platform, and I will act as moderator.
I welcome a spirited, civil debate on this site, and if you would like to take part, I encourage you to create a Gravatar. A Gravatar is an image that follows you from site to site appearing beside your name when you do things like comment or post on a blog. A Gravatar lets us know who you are.
One last thing.
Trolls intend to provoke, and they want to see which buttons they can push. They live for the fear they instill and for the outrage they create.
We have seen that their insults can lead to injury and worse if we let them get to us.
Luckily, we are not like Pavlov’s dogs, and we don’t have to fall for their dirty games.
Like Schilling, I have zero tolerance for trolls.
As far as I’m concerned, they can take their poisonous pens, and stick ’em where the sun don’t shine!
Paul Strikwerda ©nethervoice
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About the author
is a Dutch-English voice-over pro, coach, and writer. His blog is one of the most widely read and influential blogs in the industry. Paul is also the author of “Making Money In Your PJs, Freelancing for voice-overs and other solopreneurs.”